Conflicted Conundrum

Confusion of scales. Tempted to touch, time and space heals all wounds when you’re in a crutch. Time creates space while tape holds close, the more you lie in wait, the better other things form. He keeps people waiting, like a line at a con, has his time, then go and move on. Doesn’t like sharing but cares to egg on, turns people down, when he just wants one.

Seems too holy while thinking he’s the best, he’s out on a pedestal, because you put him as the best. Nothing special but a man with privilege, someone with a lot to do, even though he just wants sleep and a dog too. Not so innocent with baggage to share, he has flaws, and claws, with so much more to bare. Speaks out of turn, only for himself, forgets he has friends, that cant speak up.

Torn in the middle with decisions to make, now with options, because forever is not fate. They all bring something to the table to build you up, cant decide because this new thing is way too much. Contemplating relief or third party stake, to make sense of it all while someone is getting baked. These experiences are yours, to breathe and take, want everyone to happy even during your special day.

Left alone once again to find the choice, for who to let down while the other to rejoice. Needy and greedy, wanting it all, want to feel loved and experience it all. One life to live with so many fantasies, not enough time, can only leave casualties. Love is fair when love is war, want to experience it at least once, maybe more. Options come in all in drones, never at a time for me to condone.

Risky business that you partake in, but somehow this is the life you live in. Want something in a way you can live, without always having to forgive. Fear of regret becomes clouded when your kind, when you decide who shares your heart and not mind. Learning to be you and separate the labels, without going crazy and making sense of who’s available.

Working off a friend who has more experience, trying to adapt his way, so you can feel relevant. Slowly but surely you come into your own, figuring out that you are stronger, and not alone. When put by yourself you tend to overthink, criticize everything, then feel nothing. So much attention that comes to your way, only to let the important stuff, just slip away. Just a human being trying to get by, come out late with a gay high. Playing catch up with all that’s “normal”, making a foundation while keeping it formal.

Changing talks to get perspective, reuniting with a friend most festive. Reminiscing about the highs of life, expressing thoughts about what is his and what’s mine. Thoughts of the past you can’t help but to think, wondering if there’s a future for us to link. Separate times to explore ourselves, have our fun, escape from hell.

Battle our demons while building some strength, realizing the person you were, was weak and no vent. That person was broken and torn apart, no one to help him, or build him up. You came to the rescue and had your way, now he’s grown up with powers to slay. Options on his shoulders with clout lifting him up, no longer chasing what’s behind him, because he doesn’t give a fluff. So back down with these obstacles that comes to light, because this Jekyll and Hyde is nonstop, when it comes to whom he shares his luck.