Second Chance at Love
From breaking up after 3 years to divorcing after 50; we're here to tell you that you can love again.
Breakups Are Normal
I'm going to tell you something that doesn't get said very often these days, breakups are normal. Yes, you read that correctly, breakups are completely normal. There's no shame in going through a breakup. However, in a lot of places, it's still taboo to talk about heartbreak openly or to express how much pain or grief you're feeling at the end of a relationship. In some cases, it's even seen as a weakness.
Unexpected, Unconditional Love
I recently wrote about us, as human beings, being conditioned to certain lifestyles based on the people around us. In other words, we live by what we see. When we are children, we see the people around us, our siblings, parents, teachers or even our peers, do things a certain way or maybe we hear them talk about the way things "should" be done. Either way, we're conditioned to be like what we are surrounded by, so if we hear that something is wrong or should be done differently, that's what we tend to believe.
Brandy GeersPublished 6 years ago in HumansThe Breakup
Now I personally know everyone has been through a breakup, but there is always one that you can't forget about. That's right! Your very first breakup. Some of us probably had our first boyfriend or girlfriend in the third or fourth grade, but I am not talking about that kind of breakup where cooties are involved. I am talking about middle school. You get your first actual boyfriend or girlfriend and you think it is going to be a forever thing. I at least did. I was in the end of my 6th grade year of schooling when I had my actual first boyfriend. He was a grade ahead of me. He played football for the Y-D Dolphins and I was a cheerleader for his team. I thought it was pretty cool, sorta like in the movies where the football and cheerleader end up together forever. Well that wasn't case. We didn't know each other until we met at the "step up" dance. I should have known something wasn't completely right with how we became a couple. At the step up dance, he had a girlfriend who he technically didn't break up with. He told me that they have been done for a while but they just came to the step up dance together. Now keep in mind I was at the end of my 6th grade year so I was a little naïve. After the step up dance we dated all through summer into my 7th grade year. Everything was good until Halloween came. We were supposed to go out together, but I received a text from him saying that we are broken up and that he is now dating my best friend. I thought that was the end of my life. I never thought that my first boyfriend would have been taken away from me so quickly. I laid in my bed crying for hours wondering what I didn't do right or what I could have done to keep him. So now we enter into 8th grade and he is now a freshmen in high school. He asks if we can talk, so I meet up with him and he tells me that he made a mistake and he wants me back. I sit there and think to myself, this is what I have been waiting for since the day we broke up. So I gave him another chance and everything was perfect again. It was like the Earth was back on its axis. I had no idea that it would happen again. This time he went after a different friend of mine. To him it was just a game with all of us, but he didn't know how much I was in love with him. So every time I would get back with him and I felt stupid every time, but he was my first love. It eventually got to the point that he cheated on all of us with each other and when we found out he would ignore our phone calls. So now we hit high school he is a sophomore and I am a freshmen. We didn't go to a regular high school. We went to a vocational high school. So people from the 12 towns where I'm from went to that school if they got accepted. I haven't seen him since he graduated middle school. so walking to our school and seeing each other again was like nothing ever happened, but that is when my best friend tapped me on the shoulder and told me to remember everything that he has done since I met him. I looked away and kept walking. I kept walking because if it wasn't for her I would have been back under his thumb dealing with everything he put me through. Well now I am sophomore and he is a junior. We were in the same trade together so we saw a lot of each other. The feelings that I thought disappeared came back in full force, and there it was, we became a couple again. It turned out to be a lot better this time. That was the first time we ever had sex. April vacation. It was perfect! He has definitely been thinking and planning for this to happen. A couple weeks went by and we ended up breaking up, but this time it was mutual. We just didn't feel the same way about each other anymore. We grew apart. For the longest time I always thought that I wasn't good enough, or I wasn't pretty enough, or I did something that made him mad, or that I did something wrong. But that was it, I didn't do anything wrong. It was him who did something wrong. I don't want anyone to think that their past relationships didn't work out because of what you could or couldn't do. Don't sit there and think that you were the problem. You are better than that P.O.S who first broke your heart, just remember that!
Brittany CurranPublished 6 years ago in HumansFor the Girls Who Wish They Could Turn Back Time...
For The Girls Who Want To Turn Back Time I’ve watched so many movies. Movies about everything. EVERYTHING. Somehow the movies that have had the most lasting effect on me are the ones about love. My mom would tell me I was a “hopeless romantic,” a term I thoroughly detest seeing as how I don’t want to believe that there is anything hopeless about the idea of romance; I must have been about 12 the first time I heard it. I was late to the whole "boyfriend falling-in-love" game. My only love was acting. I thought boys were funny, welcomed their adoration, and would never turn down a kiss…but I was in no way interested in belonging to someone. And love? Love was a dish better served…from a far away distance—as far as I was concerned. My parents seemed to love one another though they split when I was about eight years old. Unlike many, I wasn’t devastated. My parents had this wonderful way of showing me how much they loved and respected one another despite their inability to make marriage work for them. My father, though flawed and adulterous, always showered me with the love a little girl so desperately needs to become a woman fully capable of being loved. My mother was what most mothers are—the disciplinary—but she was also soft and kind and she often cried to express her deep love. So, I wonder, how did I inevitably become a woman who often fantasizes about wiggling straight out of love’s reach?
Iman MilnerPublished 6 years ago in HumansBreakups Suck
No amount of advice help to ease the pain of a breakup, cause let's face it breakups really, really suck. Having your significant other, the one who you saw and planned your future with. The one you spend all your time and effort on walking out of your life no matter if you decided to call it quit or you had it chosen for you, is a heartache.
Bailee SchmidtPublished 6 years ago in Humans8/27/17
I've realized that you never love the same way twice. Your first love is always a naïve love, where you give your all and give them every inch of your being, your entire soul, your whole heart. You love them in the expectation that everyone loves the same way which is so incredibly untrue.
Can I Keep You
After years of constantly being hurt and let down, one typically gives up. Our hearts were not meant to be broken like they so often feel, and in turn, most people turn cold and distance themselves from everyone around them. I did that myself.
Elaine GreyPublished 6 years ago in HumansA Hopeful Romantic's Romeo
It had been four years since I had seen him last and I still remember it like it was yesterday. Since then, he had been married and divorced and also had a son from the marriage. I, on the other hand, had still been single with no children.
Gracie JayPublished 6 years ago in HumansIt Will Get Better
I’m sure you’ve read plenty of stories about how a breakup is not the end of the world and many people have told you, “It’ll get better and you’ll move on.” And that all seems pretty irrelevant when you’re crying into your pillow late at night missing him. But I’m here to tell you that it does get better, but it’s going to get worse before it does.
Josey BrownPublished 6 years ago in HumansIs It True Love or Comfort and Familiarity?
For the past four years I had convinced myself that the man I was dating was “the one” and that my love for him was boundless and true. Meeting when I was merely 19 and being my first real relationship, he was all I had known progressing into young-adulthood. But four years into our story, when he dumped me and moved away, I was sure my life was over and I would never feel anything again... I was extremely wrong, and it didn’t take me long to figure it out.
Scarlett WhitePublished 6 years ago in HumansBeginning Life...Again...From Two Feet Below
So, I married the first time young. I was just 20. The thing is, she was an able-bodied person, like most of the few people in my world with the exception of a few crips that included my older brother, who died in '00. I'll get to that later.
Jason RhodePublished 6 years ago in HumansAugust 20
I've loved and I've lost. I think everyone can say that! It's so true though. Just a year ago I thought I wanted to be with someone forever. I knew it was because I was scared to let go with the fear of being alone, but when I did let go I felt like the whole world was off my shoulders. I felt the sudden need to feel happier, to look happier, smile more, even go out. That relationship changed me. It changed me for the better. I spent time finding myself just like everyone does after a brutal breakup. I guess it wasn't that brutal, but it felt like it. The endless name-calling, the blaming, the going to meet up for dinner to talk it out, but he brings his cousin and makes it awkward. It was horrible! I wanted to cry so hard, but I was done crying. I felt miserable but was also happy at the same time.
Felicity DyessPublished 6 years ago in Humans