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Breakups Suck

There is a silver lining.

By Bailee SchmidtPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
Oscar Wilde once said "hearts are made to be broke."

No amount of advice help to ease the pain of a breakup, cause let's face it breakups really, really suck.

Having your significant other, the one who you saw and planned your future with. The one you spend all your time and effort on walking out of your life no matter if you decided to call it quit or you had it chosen for you, is a heartache.

That's not even the worst part. The worst part is the fact that you spent all that time and effort on that person to the point where when they leave you have one question on your mind: What the hell are you supposed to do now?

You can spend even more time trying to get him/her back, and possibly even succeed. You can carry on as though the whole thing never even happened, maybe falling for the first pickup line that comes your way, which could lead to an even worse relationship. Lastly, you can give yourself the time you need to grieve and heal, then build from it.

Though the breakup majorly sucked it’ll make you better overall, and it’ll strengthen your friendships—nothing cures loneliness like your best friend. Plus, having your heart broken will help you recognize how valuable a good relationship is in the future.

The end of a relationship is also one of the best times to pick up all those hobbies that you stopped doing, or to start new ones. You now don't have to answer to anyone, you create your own path.

And if you already aren't doing better think of it this way, not only do you come out a stronger, healthier, better version of yourself, but also your future relationships are only looking up from here.

Why though does one person walking out of your life hurt so much. After doing some resesrch I found a study which found that when people hooked up to brain scans looked at photos of their ex, the parts of the brain associated with physical pain lit up like a Christmas tree, meaning you feel the ache of heartbreak much the same way you’d feel a prick of your finger or the stubbing of your toe (we all know how much that hurts).

Researchers found that women experience more pain than men after a breakup (not just because we are more emotional). This is because ladies are wired to invest in whomever they get involved with, since a one-night stand could lead to nine months of pregnancy, followed by an actual child. Whom they are with physically potentially affects their future, so they become more attached to the one who makes it through the process. They’re therefore grieving both the loss of that person and the potential future.

Part of that post-breakup distress is actually your reaction to losing your identity.

But there's more to this sad story. You miss that person like crazy, the way their eyes light up when they have passion, the warmth of their hugs, their annoying-yet-endearing quirks. But part of that post-breakup distress is actually your reaction to losing your identity, when you are in a relationship, your sense of self becomes intertwined with your partner’s so after a breakup, people felt their selves were almost in a fog and subjectively smaller compared to when they had been part of a pair.

But those are just the bad, you have to think about the good too. Like the things they taught you or the hobbies they introduced you to. You only have to worry when you lost the positives and gained negatives due to the relationship.

There are so many more positives than negatives to breaking up from my view. Yoy get to start over, a clean sheet if you much. Its time for you to recreate yourself, and the sooner you realize that the sooner you can get back up on your feet.

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    Bailee SchmidtWritten by Bailee Schmidt

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