Church Folk Somethin' Else

THE DRAMATIS PERSONAE

DEBORAH GOLDEN, Minister-elect

JAMES WRIGHT, Pastor

MARY MARTHA WRIGHT, Pastor's Wife and First Lady

DARLING WRIGHT, Pastor's Daughter

MAXIMUS WRIGHT, Pastor's Son

JONATHAN DAVID, Pastor's Chief Armorbearer

NAPOLEON WEASLEY, Pastor's Armorbear, Second in Command

ROBIN PEACEMAN, First Lady's Attendant, Elder & Minister Peaceman's Daughter

TONYA CHATMAN, First Lady's Attendant, Deborah Golden's Childhood Friend

EDWARD STRONG, Elder

DARIUS CUNNING, Elder

TIMOTHY PEACEMAN, Elder

LEONARDO WRIGHT, Minister of Music, Pastor's Cousin

GWENDOLYN WRIGHT, Leonardo's Wife

RUTH STRONG, Prophetess, Elder Strong's Wife

HARRIET CUNNING, Minister, Elder Cunning's Wife

SHARON PEACEMAN, Minister, Elder Peaceman's Wife

Messengers, Watchers, Attendants and Church Folk

Opening Scene,---Deborah Golden's Home

ACT I.

Scene I,---Saturday Night at Deborah Golden's Home

Enter DEBORAH. Phone rings. She answers without looking at 'caller i.d.'.

Deborah, "Hello".

Tonya, "What are you doing"?

Deborah, "Nothing. Trying to figure out what I should wear to Church tomorrow".

Tonya, Jokingly. "Well you know you'd better watch yourself. That dress you had on last Sunday was a little too tight. I could see your pantie lines, and I noticed First Lady Cunning---I mean, Sister Cunning, looking at you out of the corner of her eye".

Deborah, Rolling her eyes and laughing. "At least I had on panties, which is more than I can say for some of ya'll". (Tonya never worn panties. She said they were too confining and she needed her freedom.)

Tonya, In a high squeal. "Ya'll?! I have you know I always wear panties---granny panties at that"!

Deborah, Still laughing. "Girl, you know you need to stop lying before God strikes you down. When was the last time you wore panties? And, any way, you know it doesn't matter what I wear somebody's always got something to say."

Tonya, giggling. (Deborah was right. She never worn panties---they were too confining---she liked her freedom.) "Well, just be careful. I'd hate to hear of you going before the 'Sanhedrin Council' again".

Deborah, "I know what you mean, girl. Church folk---". (Deborah remembered her last meeting with 'The Council'. They had 'heard' that she was selling beer and wine at her nephew's wedding and dancing. Of course it wasn't true, and besides, the hotel's policy where the wedding was held required that alcohol be offered as part of their beverage menu but that didn't matter to 'The Council'. They had 'heard about it from a very reliable source', and as usual---'the source' was not present at the wedding but had 'heard about the drinking and partying' from another source, who had 'heard about the selling, drinking, dancing and partying from her cousin, who wasn't there but heard about it from her cousin's sister's brother'. 'The Council' immediately called for a meeting with her to address such a 'serious issue'---after all, she was a minister-elect and 'such behavior just could not be tolerated'. And definitely not at 'The Church On The Hill By The Road By The River On The Way'.)

Tonya, "Somthin' else! (Tonya immediately adds and laughs.) Well...I'll see you tomorrow and remember, not too provocative, Sister Deborah".

Deborah, "Yeah, yeah---I know. Good night." (Deborah hangs up smiling, takes her most conservative black dress out of the closet, along with her hose, slip and black patent leather pumps. Her grandmother had taught her to never leave the house without stockings, a slip and clean underwear. She takes out her Bible and begins to read, preparing herself for Sunday. Tonya hangs up and immediately hits the speed dial on her phone.)

Harriet, Superficially, "Greetings, in the name of the Lord."

Tonya, "Greetings, First Lady. How are you tonight?" (Harriet Cunning was not the First Lady but had requested that Tonya address her as such.)

Harriet, "Blessed and highly favored.......blessed and highly favored."

Tonya, "Praise the Lord. I just got off the phone with Minister Deborah (Sarcastically), and I want you to know I jumped all over her about that dress she had on last Sunday! Coming to church without a slip---pantie lines showing and where were her stockings?!"

Harriet, "Good. She knows better than to wear something that tight to Church. Pastor could barely keep his eyes off her, and I caught Elder Peaceman looking at her out of the corner of his eye".

Tonya, Caustically, "Yeah, Pastor always did have a thing for her. Everyone knows she's his pet, and we all see the way he looks at her. Ought to be ashamed. They ain't fooling nobody."

Harriet, "Don't worry, I've got my eye on them. Me and the Bishop. Sooner or later they are going to slip up and when they do, Bishop Cunning will become Pastor---the way God intended."

Tonya, "Well, just know that I've got you in my prayers, First Lady. You and Elder---I mean, Bishop Cunning. I know things will be different once you and he are in charge of the Church. You have a good night now. We'll see you tomorrow. Love you."

Harriet, "God bless you, Sister Tonya. I wish we had more young women like you in the Church. You have a blessed night, too. Good night, now." (As Harriet hangs up the phone, she yells for Elder Cunning, "Bishop!")