Changing the Narrative of Hustling One's Way to Success

There’s a quote, from Anais Nin, that says, “All good things happen to those who hustle.” I’ve seen it on mugs, paraded on Instagram profiles, and plaques. But, I don’t believe that’s true at all. Since deciding to dive into the world of entrepreneurship two years ago, all I've been mentally fed has been this hustle culture lingo. There is also this unsaid competition between who did more and sacrificed more rest to do x, y, z. However, this narrative always made me feel — for lack of a better word, icky. I don’t believe depriving oneself of rest brings as much joy and success as some may portray yet, that’s what’s portrayed. As opposed to Nin's quote, I think the quote instead should be, "All good things happen to those who pause, rest, and never give up."

This year, I’m choosing to change that narrative for myself. I’ve decided that lack of sleep and rest will not be my story in 2022.

I consider myself an ambitious person. I have big dreams and goals for me and my family. But, I refuse to believe the narrative that I can't have both rest and success. Now don’t get me wrong, there is a time and a place for work. To achieve a certain level of affluence does take hard work, sacrifice, and dedication. However, the main question we should be asking ourselves is: what is my definition of success?

When I dived into what I truly wanted out of my life and asked myself that question I discovered that all this time, I had the wrong idea of what success looked like for me. I had instead adopted other people's version of success and had somehow made it my own. I’ve eventually realized that their version of success was not for me — especially if the path to it consists of working non-stop and becoming sleep-deprived. It’s not healthy nor is it sustainable for anyone! You may be able to keep it up for a while but at some point, your body will slow down for you.

Numerous studies have shown the connection between lack of rest to physical and mental illness. This constant stress on our minds and bodies releases the hormone called cortisol which is a result of the body being in fight or flight mode for an extended period of time. This is detrimental to one's physical and mental health and has been linked to conditions like anxiety, depression, heart disease, memory impairments, etc. Instead of risk ruining my health, I would much rather succeed “slower” than most to be healthy mentally and physically. That way I can be there for my loved ones, and be able to fully enjoy all my success in the end.

One day I decided to ask a colleague of mine, who had achieved a certain level of achievement in my field, when will she ever feel satisfied or feel as though she has done enough to reach her goals. She responded that she doesn't believe she ever will feel satisfied or like she’s done enough. This was not what I had expected her to say and it left me honestly questioning my decision to become an entrepreneur. The funny thing is I think she believed she was selling me the dream but was instead selling me a nightmare! This is not my idea of success or of having “made it” at all! I thought to myself, this can't be it! But, it did seem like that was the only way I was to find "success." Her response was backed up by multiple self-help, leadership, and business books that I had also read, so she must be right — right?

Absolutely not. — I refuse to believe that success and good things only belong to those who deprive themselves of the necessary attributes of being human —which is rest. Over the last couple of years, I've been beating myself up mentally for not being more disciplined in waking up earlier or choosing rest over non-stop work. I often get really tired around 2:30,3 pm and I would want to take a nap during those times but wouldn't because I felt bad. I value rest and sleep more than I would like to admit because I don't want to seem lazy or seem as though I don't want to succeed as much as I say I do. I truly enjoy my sleep though. There's nothing like waking up from a full 8 hours (or more) night of sleep. Sometimes, even laying in bed for an extra 5 minutes is pure joy! The warmth and softness of the covers just begged me to stay just a little longer. I indulge in it but also have felt shame for it.

I enjoy the life I am creating that will allow me and my family to live the life of our dreams. I understand the need for grinding for a season. I understand that to create the life I want I must work hard for it. There's no doubt about it. But, I believe creating bite-size, realistic goals is where it's at. Being consistent in those steps, every day showing up to do the work is where it's at. Also, prioritizing rest and sleep is where it’s at. I find that when I make space for rest and prioritize sleep, I am way more productive and clear-headed which allows me to make bigger strides towards achieving my goals.

So I begin my 2022 reframing my mindset toward rest and ruthlessly pushing through the hustle culture narrative. Whether I choose to sleep in one day or take a nap mid-day or spend a little extra time journaling or knitting, I will not shame myself.

• Resting is not lazy or selfish --- It's healing and restorative.
• Resting will not keep me from succeeding --- it will give me the strength to keep going.

May we all be a little kinder to ourselves this new year. Show up daily, keep the little promises to ourselves, and reap the rewards in our timeline. Whatever your version of success is, it WILL be achieved in time. In the meantime, let’s enjoy the journey, prioritize rest, and make tons of memories along the way!

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- Amanda Alexis O.