Chances Are It Ain’t Random

What to write?

Every day I ask myself that question. Before, I would stress about it and ask myself what if there is nothing to write today?

That would be my inner saboteur talking, or it could also be my body asking me to take a break from writing.

I haven't taken a break, and there is always something to write about.

Today is no different.

When I checked my Twitter today, it is my Twitterversary. Of course, it is a made-up word, but who wouldn't feel nostalgic that 11 years ago today, I wrote my first tweet.

I can’t remember what I said, but hey, Jack’s first tweet was sold as an NFT not long ago for millions of dollars, and all he said was —

just setting up my twttr

It is an odd world we live in. And to be honest, each day is a blessing once you lay down in bed and are about to sleep. It only means another day is about to end, and another day is about to begin.

When I was younger, I thought about the time between the day that is about to end and the day that is about to begin, and if I can go back in time, I will tell myself then that it is but a waste of time and energy.

Nothing will ever make us ready for what is about to come.

Twitter Anniversary

What is so special about my Twitter anniversary, aside from my 11th? Today happens to be the 9th Twitter anniversary of the man I am dating.

Yes, it is a sign.

And if you believe in signs — it’s 911.

How can one not talk about 911? I can’t believe it has been that long, all 20 years.

Most of those years are nothing but memories, from being a photographer on cruise ships, the travel, the loves lost, to being my Mom’s caregiver, and the recent memory of her passing.

Everything happened in the last 20 years. Yet, as I looked back, I remember the day of 911. It was evening in Manila, and the news of what happened shocked the world. Although it pained me, it was on the same day that I lost the man I loved, and the days that followed quickly spiraled into years of sadness and depression.

September 11, 2001, was a day of death. To America, it's 3,000 Americans and, for me, the death of a romantic love that left me empty for years.

All I am saying is, this is how I remembered that day.

Pandemic Cat

One of my favorite Newsletters is Dave Pell’s NextDraft, and aside from news, he will share some random stories. And it always amazes me how he gets his stories, and today is no different.

It is the story of a cat.

Still working from home, I find myself going out onto the porch at different times expecting to see him, but he’s not there. When he does visit, Dave and I are so happy for his presence. In other words, he’s a cat, with the whims of a cat. He does what he wants, goes where he wants, and his affection is a joy and a privilege.

It is a beautiful read, and you will understand why. How often have we missed the times to love someone or the intimacy we used to take for granted until the pandemic comes rushing in like a storm that never ends?

It is why, even during the height of the pandemic, I was thinking about sex and intimacy. It even happened after my Mom passed away.

So we take whatever comes our way, to the family who found love from Kevin, their neighbor’s cat, to the few men I had met on an online dating space that provided me endless conversations when there was none as we all needed to stay at home.

We are social beings. As such, we need to bond with people, but the pandemic made us bond with a pet, or in some cases, with our plants. Yes, I have become a proud plant parent.

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck

I realized that I hardly read any celebrity news. I am too busy writing that I have no time to read anything else aside from articles and blog posts.

So, after reading about the pandemic cat, it was there at the bottom of the story, a link to a story that I have missed — J. Lo and Ben Affleck in Venice.

I remember their story, they were an item, and I have to Google how long ago it happened. In 2002, they first met, so love comes in the most unexpected time, and for the celebrity couple, it took almost 20 years, a pandemic, to find each other again.

Chances are

Where are we now, or where am I right now?

The days after 911, America showed the world how to rise above a tragedy, it was a country united, and people worldwide mourned their dead like it was their own because the truth is we are all the same, we love, we live, and we die.

Twenty years have passed, and America is different from what it was in 2001. Now, a country disunited, even in the face of fighting a common enemy, a virus that has already claimed 600,000 American lives, young and old.

Yet, there is no united front this time.

Twenty years ago, a celebrity couple fell in love and gave up on that love, only to find themselves today giving their love another chance.

To the man I loved 20 years ago, who I will never see again, to the whimsical cat, and to the man I am dating, who shared with me my Twitterversary, nothing is all random, but there is no point trying to figure it all out.

Maybe because that is what life is all about, even nothing means something.

Chances are, this is how I will remember today, twenty years from now.