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Can You Survive a Long Distance Relationship?

by Lucy Frampton 4 years ago in advice / dating / love / how to

Coping with the struggles of not being with someone you love...

Love is hard. False, love is actually very easy. If you think about it, we all have someone in our life that we love. For example, it could be your mother, father, grandparents, aunt or uncle, friends etc, and we don't stop to think about how much we love them, we just do because it's un-conditional. We're brought into the world by our parents and in most cases we learn love from them without any conditions, because they are there for us and they surround us with safety and comfort.

However, when we step into the world outside of our comfort zone, we meet new people and they become special to us like our friends but you start to grow more feelings that you are more aware of and care for that person more than you think you should. Some of these people come and go, sometimes when you find a true love (or as some people call them, soulmate) they are the ones that you hope stay. But I'm here to talk about a different kind of love. Unrequited love.

In life you will find many people that you will be attracted to. Majority of the time you will find that they are simple crushes, no more than a quick glance and then the next minute you've forgotten about them. But there will be someone who will come into your life and turn it upside down. Now for the lucky ones, this person will stay with you forever and you get that fairy tale ending and live happily ever after.

For those of you stuck trying to figure out what went wrong, take a step back. Just because a relationship that you are involved in, whether it be one month to five years, ended doesn't mean that it is your fault, you're not to blame. Or even your partners fault for that matter. The only thing to blame is time and the situation. This is true in so many ways, because sometimes when you think you want to be with each other, things will get in the way.

I would love to tell you that it gets better each time and that you learn to cope with the loss, but from my experience the harder you fall the harder it is to get through the pain of ending the relationship.

It's true enough to say that even if you think you have learned your lesson from falling in love with someone you know you don't have a chance of staying with, you still take that risk because you hope that for once you are wrong and that you will find a way to be together.

A lot people say that long distance never works, you always hear the negative you never hear any positives to why you should try to stay together it's always "It will never work" or "Long distance sucks". But there are those who have tried to cope with long distance and they have succeeded. Women/men with partners who are in the Army/Navy spends months and years apart from their partner and still manage to cope and stay together. But because of all the negative media about being in a long distance relationship that's all people can see so they never take the risk and they think they will be happier in the long run. This may be true in some cases, but sometimes you have that feeling in you where you just want to fight.

If you are one of those people I have a few tips for you. Always have trust and be honest, the longer the distance the more communication is needed. I know this will be hard for some, but even if you go old school and start writing letters, it will make things so much easier. Tell them how you have been (even if you have spent every day upset since they left), share what you have been up to and just fill them in on every little detail. They will want to know. Send them some of your things, like a t-shirt of yours they loved to wear or a piece of jewelry that means something special. Having something that they have once touched will settle you're nerves and make you feel more relaxed.

Just don't sit around and mope.

If either one of you thinks that it will be better to end the relationship than to continue with long distance then you should agree to do so. It will take time, they will be on your mind for a long time. This is fine because you never know, your paths may cross again. But in the mean time go out and start living in the moment. If you want to travel, do it. They may join you again and you will create more memories as well as having ones of your own. The world will not stop because your heart broke, time may have ruined a relationship but it will also heal you.

If there is one thing you take away from this I hope it is that you learn not to build a wall around your feelings. Take a chance and fall in love with someone even if it is when you least expect it. I can promise that if they feel the same way as you, you will have some magical moments and nothing can take those memories away from you.

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Lucy Frampton
Lucy Frampton
Read next: 'Chocolate Kisses'
Lucy Frampton

Graphic Designer and traveller | Avid reader and writer

| Shopaholic | A huge American Horror Story fan.

From the UK currently living in Canada

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