Caesar, Merlot, and Big Italian.

I tugged at the collar of my sweater. God, it was so itchy. The hostess eyed me, obviously wondering why I was just standing there. I focused my eyes on the dimmed screen of my phone; my friend's words popping up on the screen.

"You're not dead are you?"

"He's not here yet."

I typed furiously. The clicking from my typing must have irritated the hostess because she shifted her weight and I could feel her eyes burning a hole in my face. Me too girl. I'm irritated too. Why in the world was I here on a busy Saturday afternoon? Why did I wear this itchy sweater with a high collar knowing damn well I sweat? And why am I here meeting a guy I've only ever talked to in passing?

It's true. He wasn't necessarily a stranger but I knew next to nothing about him other than where he worked and that he had a cat. It was the cutest cat. One day, he leaned over the counter to show me a photo of Caesar. Two beady eyes peered back at me from a massive sea of orange fur. His two little white paws cradled his chin. I was in love.

"Geezus, let me know once he does. Don’t forget to have fun! "

The ping from the message must have sent the hostess over the edge because she made her way over to me with the biggest grin. Oh I knew that smile all too well.

"Are you waiting for someone hun?" She waited for my answer.

I stood there, flush faced and gasping for air instead of forming actual sentences. Damn social anxiety. I slid my phone into my back pocket when another ping went off. Jennifer, the hostess, looked me dead in the eyes as if she was daring me to pull it out again. The deer in headlight look must have scared her off because she turned around and went back to the stand where she greeted a group of chatty girls that had rushed in beside me.

Once she and the group rounded the corner in search of their table, I pulled my phone out to check my messages.

"Hey! I just parked, we meeting inside or out? 😊 "

In that moment, part of me wanted to text my friend back a SOS. I don't date. I don't know how to date anymore. Stupid ex. Why did he have to decide after 4 years that I wasn't ? Why did he have to put me in this position? I peered around, hoping to find an exit so that I could slip out and forget this whole thing.

As I turned to leave, I saw Ezra through the double doors. I nearly retreated backwards but as fate decided, he turned just in time to spot me. I gave a small wave as he stepped into the bustling restaurant. Instantly his face dropped.

Oh here it comes. He's already regretting this as am I.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know it would be this busy."

Ezra reached up to rub the back of his neck, forcing the sleeve of his button down to ride up and tease just a bit of muscle.

God, he's hot.

He was hot in a totally average, cute looking, nice guy you'd totally bring to meet your dad kind of way. He wasn't an Instagram model nor did he drive a Lexus, but he was kind and funny and I needed a lot of that in my life.

Before I could catch myself, I blurted out.

"The hostess hates me I think."

Face palm.

Ezra's face dropped. "Oh, that's terrible. Do you want to leave?"

"Oh no! I'm not sure why I even said that. She doesn't hate me, more irritated with me I think."

Why am I the way that I am?

The hostess appeared out of nowhere and waved us forward.

"Table for two?" She turned to face Ezra as she grabbed two menus from beside the podium.

Ezra smiled before meeting my eyes. "Yes, please."

Jennifer the hostess waved us to follow her and we made our way through the crammed tables, weaving to avoid being elbowed by the rambunctious bar goers.

She placed the menus at a small booth at the back of the restaurant and told us that our server would be there momentarily. I stifled a laugh as Ezra turned, seemingly mortified by the fact that flushing water could be heard only a few feet from where we were seating.

"Is that...the bathroom?" His eyes widened as he pointed behind me. Suddenly a fellow patron walked out, rubbing his hands on his jeans before returning to the bar.

This was definitely Jennifer the Hostess' payback.

"It's probably my fault."

"I think you're right, she hates you."

Suddenly we were laughing and as our server made her way towards us, she too began to smile as she came to our sides.

"I see we are having a great time already! My name is Ashley, is there anything I could get started for you today?"

We looked at each other, too embarrassed to mention that we hadn't even looked at the menus. Ezra quickly flipped the paper menu back and forth before speaking up.

"Can I get..." He trailed off suddenly drawing a blank.

I quickly scanned the menu. "Can we get glasses of Merlot and the Big Italian?"

I drew my ID out and slid it across the table. Ezra followed up with his and Ashley quickly scribbled on her pad. She winked at me and smiled at Ezra.

"You got it!"

She left as Ezra grabbed his ID and leaned in to whisper.

"Thank you for saving me." He smiled, his eyes gleaming from the overhead light.

"No problem." I smiled, motioning as if I was an excited toddler waving with both hands.

"Is it any good? The wine and pizza?"

"Honestly, I panic ordered."

Ezra snorted and covered his face. It was the cutest thing. Ashley quietly walked up and brought two glasses of water as we waited. I tried to scan my brain for a recovery.

"But I did see somewhere on the internet that it's a good pairing so we'll see?" Ezra peeked out from his hands and dropped them to his lap.

"I'm sure the internet is right. I have hope." He winked as he popped the straw into the water and took a sip.

The noise from the restaurant faded as many of the lunch goers finished their meals and left. A horde of teenagers poured out from the back and frantically began clearing the food and wiping the tables. The dinner rush was about to begin. We watched and made small talk as the restaurant began to fill up again.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Ashley approaching our table with wine and glasses in hand. A guy with a large serving tray followed after.

"Here we are." Ashley sang out as she placed the glasses in front of us, filling them up with a gracious amount of wine.

"It is very hot guys, be careful and enjoy!"

Ezra immediately handed me one of the plates stacked next to the tray before taking his own. He lifted a slice and an avalanche of cheese and meat began slowly falling away.

"Oh this is going to be good."

"You think?" I grabbed a slice and pulled for what felt like eternity until I cut the glob of cheese free.

Ezra nodded. "So how do we do this?" He pointed to the wine and then the slice in front of him.

"How do you mean?"

"Do we drink first then eat? Eat first and then drink?" He raised an eyebrow. "You don't think we have to sip while we have our mouths full do you?"

I laughed. "Oh I don't know, I never read that much into it."

Ezra grabbed his phone and quickly began typing. I took that as my cue and picked up my phone as well.

"I'm OK, he's good!" I texted and my friend immediately shot back an eggplant and laughing emoji.

Blushing and totally mortified, I turned my phone over and looked up to watch Ezra. He flicked his thumb up over and over again and peeked over at me from behind his phone.

Busted.

He smiled and turned his phone over as well before reaching for his glass.

"The internet seems to be at a disagreement so I say we just go for the wine first." He swirled his glass and laughed. "If it sucks, this will be on me."

I reached for mine and followed suit. Swirling was a thing right?

"Cheers."

"Cheers."

We clinked our glasses louder than intended and I brought mine to my lips, taking a bit too much in on the first sip. I was not a wine snob by any means so I had no idea what I was looking to discover. It tasted...winey.

I looked over at Ezra and he too looked puzzled. He smiled, nodded, placed his glass down, and then cupped his hands on the table.

"So I have a confession..." Ezra's eyes were deadlocked onto mine. I could feel a pinprick of warmth in my ears. "I have no idea what I just tasted."

I laughed, taking in so much air that I began coughing.

"I'm so sorry!" He stood suddenly, reaching for my back.

I waved my hands. "I'm okay! I also have no idea. It tasted like...wine." I cupped my face in my hands and laughed. "We're terrible at this."

"It's a crime, I know." Ezra tapped the table. "We even swirled it."

"I'm sorry I ordered it, maybe it wasn't a nice brand." I picked a sausage from my pizza and popped it into my mouth.

Ezra smiled, lifting his slice to his mouth. After a few seconds, he folded his napkin and wiped the corners of his mouth before looking back at me. My ears burned hot under his gaze.

"I guess we'll have to just keep trying until we find the perfect one."