My best friend and I are separating.
It was after midnight, two days before my birthday, and I was cradling our almost-one year old in bed when it felt like my world imploded. That day, I was exhausted but decided to push through it so that my husband and I could watch a movie that evening after the kids went to bed. It was our usual horror movie chance pick and it ended up being pretty good. As the movie ended, our baby began to stir so I decided to rock him back to sleep in our room. I was happy that we had made time for each other. Earlier that day, my husband and I had gotten into a minor argument. He was growing more distant and I decided to approach him with how I was feeling because I couldn’t ignore it any longer. Ultimately, he said he wasn’t doing it intentionally and was just trying to have some space to get through his emotions. I understood. The year was hard for both of us. On top of covid and the quarantine, we both lost a parent at the beginning of the year so naturally we would be distant and in our feelings right? Fast forward to after the movie, I was cradling our son when he quietly came in the room and sat at the edge of the bed. I knew something was wrong so I waited for him to begin speaking. That’s when he opened up with those dreaded words, the words that still sting months later.