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Buy Your Own Damned Groceries

And send a message to venture capitalism

By Remington WritePublished 2 months ago 3 min read
Photo Credit — Remington Write / The herd of Los Deliveristas’ steeds in Chelsea

Word to the wise: look both ways before stepping into any bike lane in this city. Los Deliveristas are busy, busy people these days and your mere pedestrian life had better not get in their way.

Right. I get it. People are very busy and important. So busy they can’t be bothered to go out and buy their own food. Hell, some of them are too busy to raise their own kids (and wouldn’t they — we? — be in a world of hurt if all the Brown and Black people just up and quit on them?). So it's totally understandable that the Work-From-Homers are going to jump on some app after a hard day at the dining room table and order dinner to be delivered.

But are there so many busy, important people that we’re now also drowning in a sea of hot new deliver-it-yesterday grocery delivery services?

Jokr, Instacart, Shipt, FreshDirect, AmazonFresh, Boxed, UberEats, DoorDash, PostMates, and Fridge-No-More (Oops, looks like having Russian investors is not a great move these days. Buh-bye, Fridge-No-More).

The big CVS on 7th Avenue went away and now it appears to be a very large grocery store except the frosted windows and crowds of bikes outside work well to discourage anyone from actually going in to buy food. See, all those shelves of goods are being ferried to the busy, important schmucks who can’t be bothered to get off their busy, important backsides to buy their own groceries. I’m sorry (no, I’m not) but damned few people in this city are too busy or important to go buy their own damned food.

Get over yourselves.

Know who else needs to get a grip on reality? Men who play that foul game of venture capitalism. Ten to one they’re also far too busy and important to buy their own groceries. No wonder we’re inundated with these stupid fad-driven grocery delivery scams. They probably figure if it's something they like and think they need then obviously the entire working world does too.

No one’s asking these very busy, important people to go weed their own gardens or harvest their own wheat.

Let’s just see them tear their busy, important selves away from their phones and computers for half an hour to go stand in line with the rest of us out here in the world who somehow make time to buy groceries. They might learn a thing or two that has nothing to do with profitability. Maybe they’ll even get to have one of the ordinary people deliberately try to trip them — like I did when heading in to buy groceries down on 14th Street — which might open their eyes a bit.

It sure reminded me of how brutal this world is right now for too many of us. And that's a valuable reminder to everyone especially people who think they must have a six-pack and a freshly tossed salad delivered in under fifteen minutes.

This is not a world that needs more men living at the mean edge of poverty madly riding bikes around the city to provide busy, important people with groceries or dinner.

There are billions of dollars sloshing around but none of it will go to ensure that We The People have decent health care or housing we can afford. We are not the priority and never have been. Millions of dollars are going to provide weapons to fund an obscene proxy war in Eastern Europe but not for people who need food and shelter.

War is profitable. It’s a priority. Technology is profitable. Delivering groceries to busy, important people seems to also be a priority.

I could be wrong (I’m not), but it’s high time to shove these priorities right up some wealthy investors’ backsides.

And then go fix some dinner.

© Remington Write 2022. All Rights Reserved.


About the Creator

Remington Write

Writing because I can't NOT write.

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