Broken Halos

"She keeps a demon in the closet"

that's what my sisters said

A makeshift dungeon and reposit

for times when we were being bad

See, my mother made the rules

so, you couldn't call on dad

Her dish of punishment, the school

when-ever she got mad

"Beware when she grits her teeth

and her voice is low and rasp

There is a monster underneath"

I held my breath hard, in a gasp

When she popped around the corner

and said, "it's time to get to bed"

I didn't need another warning

I always did just what she said

My sisters on the other hand

lived to push all of her buttons

And I knew when their bedroom door slammed

that they must be up to something

Mom busted through that door

like a train falling off its tracks

To keep from hearing any more

I let my pillow fort collapse

The next day we rushed around

and got ready for the bus

But Kim and Kris were not allowed

they didn't go to school with us

That afternoon when we got home

they were nowhere to be found

Mom left a note there by the phone

they'd gone to grandma's house, in town

Almost two months they stayed away

dad promised everything was fine

Mom saw a Dr yesterday

it would get better now, with time

I suppose the angels cried

witnessing crimes of the fallen

That kind of fear leaves scars behind

broken halos, bruised and swollen

She didn't mean it

but they didn't care

guilt filtered love through

wet eyes and tangled hair

Sins of the father

committed too soon

Baptized in the water

where dead flowers go to bloom

Locked for hours in the closet

to see and meet her demons

With no clue of what that meant

we learned quickly to keep her secrets

Bonded together

then picked apart

That's when the pressure

began to start

She chose her favorites

pleasure and pain

Gaslighting - faceless

sunshine and rain

Ignorance met innocence

in pink footie pajamas

Emotions hanging in suspense

prisoners to mamas drama

He did his best to shield and guide us

but the mind's a potent force

lacking the will and power cuz

she could no longer hear the voice

The one that said, now - that's enough

take a break and walk away

No support when things got rough

we were just objects in her way

We moved away

but clug to home

It's hard to stray

from what you know

She mellowed out

too little too late?

New seedlings sprout

as grandbabies came

Second chances

chipped at brick walls

Forgiveness dances

down darkened halls

Rebuilding trust

healing old wounds

It worked for us

for them, too soon

Replacing what was

with what could be

Removing claws

from wounded feet

Deathbed confessions

a last chance for peace

Lasting impressions

and sins released

The hunt begins

as she meets god

Through tear and grins

breaking those bonds

Chasing old ghosts

to set them free

What hurts the most

we were not we...

They say the body knows it's limit

when it can't handle what's been done

I've got great memories with me in it

but some threads have come undone

I can remember certain moments

other times I draw a blank

My brain and its componants

aren't worth much, if I'm being frank

I've no doubt we all have demons

that we wrestle everyday

I guess I'll never know the reasons

I don't remember it that way