Bobby & Me: Our First written Comedy Routine!

Comedy Routine for

me and my Puppet Bobby!

Bobby & Me Introducing Ourselves & Discussing Relationships!

We hope you enjoy our routine! :-)

Hi,

I’m Jennifer and this is Bobby…. Turn to Bobby and ask’s….

“Do you want to tell them where you are from and how we met or would like me to keep talking?”

Bobby

“I’d better do it, because I’m worried you might mess this up!”

He turns to the audience and says,

“She Stutters….”

Jennifer replies….

“I I I I doooo dooo do not!”

Bobby

Turns to the audience again and say’s…

“See!”

“I’ve been around Jennifer long enough to know that when she gets really nervous… like when she’s around a guy she really likes whom she thinks DOESN’T KNOW… (TRUST ME HE KNOWS!) She can’t talk straight or look him in the eyes and she gets all sweaty, and it’s fairly safe to say with this being her first time in front of an audience ON A STAGE that she’s going to act like she’s around THAT GUY, for ALL OF YOU are THAT GUY only 5 times worse since that’s a lot more people then just THAT 1 GUY!”

"Anyway as she’s already said I’m Bobby, From Bobby’s World a cartoon show aired on Nickelodeon that was produced by and starred in by the Canadian comedian and actor Howie Mandel! When he got bored and felt it was time to move on, the show stopped producing new episodes… and I started getting bored as I was still a growing boy and all… and I started surfing the internet to pass the time away and I came across Jennifer’s Online Resume about her security experience and learning about the Highway of Tears which isn’t a laughing matter, and when I dug deeper I learned that she also loves to write and has written many wonderful things.

And I decided I wanted to be a spokes person for the Highway of Tears and challenge Jennifer’s Imagination to do more then just write. And when she was surfing on the internet at the same time as me (she was looking for cute and fun tattoos that would suit her personality believe it or not?) and that’s when I saw my chance, my opportunity to send her pictures of me and remind her of the cartoon show….and what do you know IT WORKED she found some pictures of me in color just the right size for the tattoo she wanted to have done of me on her body and she had the picture placed on the dresser in her room.

And everyday that I was there looking back at her she started thinking about me and what I WAS TRYING TO TELL HER…. It’s true she was right I was trying to tell her something. And when she started hearing my voice in her head, out came the message, I told her what a bad example that would be for a little cartoon boy like me to be a tattoo on her ankle and we went on about it for days. And then one day she realized what was missing, and what the answer was.

And she told me to put myself in a box and mail myself to her. And then one day she got a package delivery notice and she brought home the box and opened it and there I WAS…. A REAL BOY... NOW IN THE REAL WORLD, to be her friend and travel the world with seeking adventures and answers about life, together. And we have been inseparable since!”

Jennifer

“7 yrs later to our present state, Bobby started telling me he was missing his family and I told him I can’t draw, not this kind of art work anyway, and I told him that the only solution possible is for us to set out on tour around the world looking for ways to track down Howie or reach him and have him come to us, so we can discuss the MOVIE of HIS FAMILY being re-united with him somewhere, thanks to Howie’s help in making this arrangement possible, while Bobby is with us in the REAL WORLD! So here we are beginning that Real World Adventure and hoping we manage to successfully entertain a lot of people and have a good time with all of you along the way!”

Bobby (cuts in)

“When are you going to tell them about the questions? And why were here tonight? I want these people to be the judge on whether or not what you came up with for a solution was funny or if they agree with me and find your solution would make a person look absolutely desperate and crazy?” “I warn you now she is absolutely not a good person to turn to for relationship issues that you’re in search of good answers for!”

Jennifer

“Bobby was asking me questions about what he should say to impress his future first girlfriend who he feels he is going to meet shortly just around the corner in his life now, and he may be right, and since I’m a professional Bachelor, being alone more years then in relationships I’ll be the first to admit that I’m probably not the best person to seek these answers from! But I did make an effort and went surfing around for stuff, and since we’re in the business of comedy and making people laugh I came across this 1 thing….”

Bobby (cuts in)

111 Funny Questions to Ask a Girl – Ignite a conversation with humor.

The science is in. Girls are more inclined to like a guy who tries to be funny, according to them. Now I AGREE Every guy needs to know funny questions to ask a girl… but you tell me if anything I read to you from the following would impress a girl I like, whom I read this too….?”

1. Would You Rather Be Fluent In All Languages Or Be A Master Of Every Musical Instrument?

Choose between the language of nations or the language of the soul, it’s a thought-provoking conversation starter that is sure to crack a smile.

2. What Cartoon Do You Still Like To Watch?

Everyone still does it, so show what you have in common in a playful way. And The Simpsons is for adults so it doesn’t count. We’re talking about cartoons that you just can’t let go of from your younger life.

3. What Was Your Favorite Fairy Tale Growing Up?

Conversation starters that are both funny and have a hint of nostalgia will create a connection between you both.

4. If You Were A Vegetable, What Would You Be And Why?

As the saying goes, ‘you are what you eat’. Well let’s take that a step further.

5. If You Worked At A Circus, Which Job Would You Want To Have?

This question offers the chance to see what she’s more interested in (Acrobatics? Animals? Humor?) in a light-hearted way.

6. If You Could Have One Magical Power, What Would It Be?

More to this question than meets the eye (or ear). Will it be a power for good or for bad? Better you know sooner rather than later.

7. One Super power?

Invisible or fly? You can learn a lot about whether someone is introverted or extroverted based on what they answer here.

8. Would You Rather Live In A World Of Magic Or Superheros?

You might spot a theme here but it’s with good reason. Magic and superheroes are great fodder for funny and light-hearted banter and contemplating how they compare brings out the inner child in us all.

9. What Do You Think You Were In A Past Life?

Bring the mystique and the spiritual into the conversation. Evangelists, atheists and everyone in between can have fun with this.

10. If Reincarnation Exists, What Would You Like To Come Back As?

Follow up with what she thinks she will come back as. It’s also a helpful way to find out about any skeletons in her closet.

11. Would You Rather Have More Money Or More Time?

O.k, let’s get real. This question reveals what is truly important to you both.

12. Would You Rather Drink 1 Gallon Of Ketchup Or 1 Gallon Of Mustard?

You know that look in someone’s face when a thought is both repelling but alluring? You will after asking this.

13. Would You Rather Permanently Look Like A Fish Or Smell Like A Fish?

Evoke the senses. Not necessarily good ones.

14. If You Could Pick A New First Name, What Would It Be?

An interesting path for the follow-up:

15. If Animals Were To Make Wildlife Documentaries About Humans, What Are Some Of The Weird Things They’d Show?

For example: we bare our teeth when we’re happy and slap our hands together to signal approval.

The way we have sex outdoors always trying to find places to hide, so as to not worry about being caught or worse arrested? Animal’s don’t have to worry about that! “Neither do I, since I’m only 14 so I haven’t done that yet… whispers (I’m still a virgin). Proudly now smiling, I’m going to wait for the RIGHT ONE, I’m one of the good boys!”

16. How Does Our Hair Know When To Stop Growing?

Seriously, how?

Bobby

“Dunderhead!”

Jennifer

“Are you calling me stupid? Me the wonderful woman who gave you the gift of LIFE, REAL LIFE in the REAL WORLD, the same one I’m living in!”

Bobby

“No, I’m calling you a Dunderhead!”

Jennifer

“But the dictionary definition of dunderhead if you look right here on the phone says…. (she politely turns the phone in Bobby’s hand towards herself) and reads….

Bobby

“Well if you want to do it that way, how about we go on to the next section of the article on the website, Best Funny Questions To Ask A Girl he reads off What Is The Most Annoying Personality Trait Someone Can Have?

or how about…. 9 funny questions to ask a girl over text?”

Jennifer

“O.K. O.K. I get it, so maybe this one particular thing, this one particular time wasn’t my best genius at work, but you have got to give me an A for at least trying!”

Bobby (more determined to make his point)

“Alright so like when are you going to ASK THAT GUY YOU LIKE OUT ON A DATE or just outright tell him that you like/ ha hem LOOOVE Him? You plan to make a career out of being single? I mean let's face it, you’re not getting any younger you know that right Jennifer?”

Jennifer

“Hey wait a minute now how did this conversation end up being about me?”

Bobby (looking at audience smiling)

Ha hem, you see my point made! She doesn’t want to talk about it, because I’m right!”

Jennifer

“But anyhow you haven’t even met a girl you like enough to want to talk about all this stuff with yet, anyway!”

Bobby

“Yeap, but I will and probably sooner then I will see a diamond ring on your finger!”

Jennifer

“O.K. O.K. You win, I give up, I throw in the towel now….so can we talk about something else?”

Bobby

“Like?”

Jennifer

“The weather? What do you think of all these strange catastrophic world events happening even right here in Ottawa and our experiencing like the mildest winter ever…. Do you like all the rain and puddles better or worse than the snow?”

Bobby

“I’m a boy, that’s an unfair question for me to have to answer I mean I am after all a creature of nature that likes to catch frogs in swamps and make mud and worm pies, so of course I like making snow angels, snow balls and climbing hills of snow and making myself the King of the castle! And of course I love to jump in puddles (even still at 14) or ride my bike through it and splash everyone around me and get my pants all dirty!

But what I do know and understand is, that if things keep on going like this it won’t be long till nobody is going to need cars or be able to use them, everyone will have to travel by boat or canoe, which is cool with me because I like those things too! But what do all of you think about it?”

Jennifer

“Sigh, sorry about that he is a people person loves to interact with others anytime he can, but one thing is certainly true that can be said about him, and that is that kids are never boring, they most certainly are a wealth of information, full of ideas, fun and games and a world of great entertainment! And I know I’m certainly glad Bobby’s come into my life and that I’m looking forward to the continued fun and adventures that lay ahead for the both of us in the years of our friendship that still lies ahead!”

Bobby turns and hugs Jennifer! Almost wanting to cry from the love….

“She sure does make the BEST 2nd MOM in the world any boy like me could be so lucky to have, makes missing my family and not being around them so much easier to get through! And I sure can’t wait for my family re-union when I can tell them all about the time I’ve spent with Jennifer and the things we’ve done!

But I still think it’s a COOL WORD to go home and teach your kids…. To show them no matter how old you get that you CAN STILL BE COOL TOO and that getting older doesn’t mean you have to GROW UP, that you can still have a wonderful fun, cool inner child, and watch their reactions when you say it before they do, teaching them a better way to express themselves instead of using swear words or things others do find hurtful!

And that’s my shared lesson for all you proud parents tonight to go home with and your memory of meeting me here tonight, some of us 14 yr olds have reasonable decent heads on our shoulder’s and try to make the best decision when and where possible, when we know it’s needed or just the right thing to do! (Turning to Jennifer and closes with) Dunderhead!”

Jennifer

“I LOVE YOU TOO BOBBY! Or as Patrick Swayze said to his girlfriend in the movie Ghost, DIDO!”

Thank-you for your time and I hope you had a good experience in meeting Bobby and Myself for the first time tonight, we hope you’ve had a great time and continue to enjoy your evening, and that maybe you will want to find yourself in another future audience of ours in giving us yet again another opportunity to try our hand at entertaining you all once again?”

Bobby starts singing from all the LOVE in the room as Jennifer starts moving to take them off stage…..

“Why do Birds, suddenly appear every time you are near? ...”

Jennifer

“O.K. Bobby that’s enough we’re done now!” He gives it all he’s got with one last line…

Bobby

“Just like me, They Long Too Be Close to You! As for THAT GUY… SHE LOVESSSSSSS….. TRUST ME…. HE KNOWS!”

Jennifer

“Are you implying that you told him?”

Bobby

“He Knows, trust me, I’M A GUY and GUY’S NO THESE THINGS ABOUT OTHER GUYS when it comes to GIRLS and MOMENTS and THINGS LIKE THIS! HE KNOWS!”

Bobby smiling as we settle in to watch the next act with the rest of the audience!

(And hopefully the Audience is clapping here with us as we exit the stage and go take our seats)

The End!