blakc & whyte

For as long as I can remember, I was taught, "red and yellow, black and white; we're all precious in his sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world." Despite my parents contrasting skin-tones, I saw my mom and dad. Having a Caucasian father and African-American mother, I was well aware that, we as human beings, came in a variety of colors and shades; but we were all the same.

Although, I do wish that I had been educated about my skin; so that I would've been prepared for that day in 2nd grade. I grew up in a small town of West Virginia, right along the Appalachian and church was unavoidable. Pre-K to 1st grade, I went to a school in Barbour County; which was where our family went to church and were my grandparents lived! It was also home to many folks of various tones; from transparent to purple! Race was never under a microscope or the topic of discussion; we were all the same.

Half way through the 1st grade, during Christmas break, my parents would separate; beginning their divorce. This meant everything would be changing! Being driven to school in the morning by my mom would no longer be an option. So, I would be switching schools, in order to catch the bus. This means that I would now be going to school with the kids that lived around us, in Taylor County.

This new school was less colorful and diverse! I finished 1st grade without a hitch; I was very studious, so making friends wasn't a priority. During the summer, I spent a lot of time at my grandmothers and in church; with V.B.S. and summer camp!

And welcome to the 2nd grade! As the year started, I felt as though I was fairly liked, even though I was a nerd and teachers pet. All things were seemingly great, until that day...

I couldn't tell you the exact day or what it was exactly that prompted what was about to happen. I do know that it was storming, hard. It was no more than 9:30 in the morning and it was pitch black outside. Miss K, our teacher had to leave the class for some reason and we had been left to finish our reading assignments. The kids around me were talking about parents and although none of them had ever met my mother, I was brought in to the conversation.

"You know your mom is black?" "I saw her from the bus and she is not your mom!" "You're not even the same color!?" They all started laughing, the whole class. "Eew, you're gross! You don't belong here. This is whites only." And then I heard it... "Nigger!"

I couldn't help but to begin bawling, as they started to throw things at me and demean me with racial slurs. I remember grabbing up all my stuff and running to the back of the room, where we had a semi-separate reading nook that was aprtially enclosed. I balled up on the floor, between the bookshelves and sobbed! I cried until the teacher came back in the room.

She came back and begun to console, eventually calming me down and walking me out into the hall. "You are perfect. You are beautiful. You are smart. Don't listen to those foolish kids, they don't know what they are talking about." Despite her positive words, I knew something inside me would never be the same! I would no longer see people as people, suddenly everyone was in color. My eyes were wide and I was white.