Bennie and Me

Today was the day. Everything up to this point had been just planning, packing, daydreaming, and more packing. Now finally, the day has arrived. We loaded up cars and a large moving truck. We push and stuff my belongings making sure everything was neatly puzzled in. I give one last oversight to make sure all was secure. Inside held a whole lifetime of memories, mementos, knick-knacks, and necessities, It needed to be perfect.

I step back, pausing for just a moment, “this is it” I whisper to only myself.

As I fall out of the daze of thoughts I was clouded in, I begin to walk towards the door. There was one final step, loading up my unknowing pup.

As I head inside to gather the last of my items and my dog, Bennie, he stares in confusion. Turning his head every which way. Bennie didn’t know where we were going, but he knew he was going too.

Bennie and I have been inseparable since the first day at the shelter. He healed a hole in my heart I didn’t know I had. He licked away my teary eyes on nights when I was low. He comforted me in times of heartache. He protected me when things were scary, (mostly those times were just innocent drivers). Bennie knew me and I knew him, and Bennie knew something was up. I retrieve the black mesh harness and secure Bennie for a long journey. I walked him outside, and both of us pace with slight hesitance. This was it for Bennie and me. Set out just the two of us. Bennie and I against the world.

All set in our seats in my small silver Volkswagen, Bennie and I share a look. No other communication was necessary. We are both nervous. Our look reiterates the anxiousness in the air. Bennie sighs breathily and curls into a little brown fur ball. I smile at the sight, slightly relieved at Bennie’s comfort.

I put the car in drive as I head toward the unknown future. I slowly press on and take in the patterns of my familiar drive, now seeing for the last time as residents. The last time. Tears were just below the surface of my anxious eyes. A whine gently behind Bennie’s soft smile. 3, almost 4 hours to adjust to the fact that this would be the last time. The last time for Bennie and me to round that shaded drive, at least for a while.

As we drive, Bennie and I are in constant conversation. Nervous chatter comes from both of us. Me with words of concern, Bennie with whimpers of confusion. The pace of the road is steady, but that steadiness has yet to settle on me. I zone in and out as the steadiness lulls me into deep thought.

Driving through nowhere towns, the speed limits decrease to frustrating numbers. But this time, instead of just hurrying along, I recognize the moment we are in. Bennie and I take it in together. I roll down the windows allowing the warm summer air in. I breathe deeply and smell the fresh-cut grass blowing in the air. Bennie seems to be doing the same with his chest out and head pointed towards the sun. I look over again to see a little black nose and floppy brown ears flap as the wind breezes through. Bennie looks back with a wide-open smile. Further on toward the newness we go, as I smile back at Ben.

Though the miles seem long, the hours go by rather quickly. Bennie and I spend most of the time singing our favorite songs. This keeps us pretty busy. I play a familiar tune and Bennie perks us. “Bum… bum… bum… bum bum b-bum, “Bennie and the Jets” plays out and the bass begins to boom. I turn towards my pup and put on an award-winning rendition of the classic tune. The very song my puppy is named after has to be sung proudly. Bennie seems amused by these few moments of scream-singing. As the song fades I look over and finally notice a familiar town name. The signs on the side of the highway start to read out the name of our new home. Bennie and I’s new stomping grounds. I announce to Bennie “This is it, Ben, we are almost there, no turning back now.”

As the miles grow fewer my thoughts grow in abundance. This drive is no longer just a leisurely activity for Bennie and me to share. Now the reality sets in. I reach my hand over towards Bennie to comfort him, but I am really the one in need. Bennie just softly licks the top of my hand as if to say, “we will be ok.” Bennie’s quiet consolation holds me steady as we pull into our new town. We pass new streets and stoplights, as I gaze at unfamiliar sights. My hand still rested on Bennies furry side. I’m holding on to what’s familiar like a small child gripping their parent’s hand. The GPS directs us closer and closer. Finally, I take in a sharp breath as we turn onto our new street. No longer rounding the shaded drive, but straight away into the sunny lot.

I remove my hand from Bennie’s side and place the car in park. “Here we are Bean dog.” “This is it Bennie, our new home, just you and me.” Bennie excitedly jumps into my lap, ready to explore, but mostly ready to be free. With Bennie’s bright red leash in my hand and a lump in my throat, I step out onto the pavement. Bennie jumps out right after me, panting with excitement. New smells, new terrain, Bennie is all in. Now we stand in front of the place we will call home. Bennie and I are here. “This is all ours”, I say as I look down at my energized pup.

Bennie roams all the new territory with assuredness, it’s like he finally realizes what our long trip was all for. I, on the other hand, feel less confident as the weight of all the new really sinks in. As I begin towards the front door I am pulled back by the weight of Bennie’s resistance. Now, practically dragging Bennie away from his new friends, the neighborhood squirrels, I walk up to the door and hold out the brand new house key. Bennie sniffs at the entrance and then looks up at me with a loving look in his eyes. I look back at him, thankful.

As I look down at my dog all the big moments Bennie and I have shared come rushing back to my mind. In the last few years, Bennie and I have faced some of the hardest and scariest times together. Through it all, he has been my rock. Now, I am 20 years old and out on my own. In a new town, knowing no one. Just me and my little brown dog. I’m scared, to say the least, but as I gaze into Bennie’s big brown doe eyes, once again I am sure it will be okay.

With a click and turn, Bennie and I step into our foreseeable future. Small but mighty, new in town but ready to make it our own. I leaned down to give Bennie a big hug. With lots of kisses and pants of joy, Bennie reminds me. Together we will be ok.