Being There For Your Partner

I wanted to share a little background on my evolving story of becoming a more 'conscious man'. Writing this I am not claiming I have it all sorted because I don't, there will always be more to understand, new information to take in and further evolution through life and relationships.

Want I want to share and hopefully point out is, it's OK for men to be masculine & sensitive and not having to pick one or the other. I also want to point out that women are powerful, they have so many more feelings and emotions change quicker then mens do. Understand 99.99% of women will never be like a man, so don't treat them like one in your relationship.

Relationship

When my partner came to me with a problem she was having, in the past I would treat her the same way I would treat a mans problem and it just didn't work.

I was always trying to fix straight away, provide a step by step guide to sorting it, shutting it down, walking away, being physically present but zoning out in my head - basically repeating what I learnt growing up (more on that another time).

This would happen for a few reason;

1. I wanted to save her, not allowing her the opportunity to release the emotions she had build up inside.

2. I would take what she said personally, becoming a more evolved man you have to learn to not take things personally, if you are being your best self then you're OK and they are letting off steam so let them go through the process.

3. I didn't know how else to act, I was never shown this growing up from parents or during school but it is such a powerful skill to show your partner you are there for them.

4. I acted as though I could treat her the same way I treated men.

Then I listened to a podcast on 'Holding space' and another one called 'conscious relationships' by the Evolving Man (check it out, it's great), and also a book called 'The Superior Man' which completely changed how I viewed my actions in relationships and my life.

I learnt that it's OK for men to want to take care of a woman, that's natural, what's also natural is for a women to speak out her truth knowing her man is strong & loving enough to handle her full true self without being made to feel crazy afterwards. If she feels crazy after the conversation then you haven't opened your heart up enough and listened to her fully.

During the moments that she comes to me now wanting to talk I try to;

> Be fully engaged and present, show her i'm are there for her

> Face her and open up my body, a closed body is not showing anyone they care and it doesn't allow you to open your self up fully to be in the moment with your partner.

> Look in her eyes, feel her emotions so I can try to understand what she is going through

> Open my heart up fully, bringing myself back to my heart centre always giving back love, sometimes this needs reminding to practice this a lot.

> Remind myself that whatever comes out don't take it personally and react, If what she says is triggering me, that's on ME to work that shit out on myself, not her.

> During these moments, if I know i'm not ready to listen, i'll tell her and say 'look I need 10, 20, 30 minutes to clear my head and then I'll be ready'. Sometimes I get caught off guard and forget but she will appreciate that a lot more than me not being present or reacting in a 'child like' manner such as getting angry and storming off.

Powerful women need powerful men, they need to know you are strong enough to be with them, able to keep them safe, love them eternally, they will be constantly testing you throughout life making sure you are doing just that, so embrace it, love it fully and accept you need to treat them differently to men.

Don't let beliefs, excuses or laziness stop you from being your best self.