Before & After

Brunches, walks with friends, spontaneous trips to a National Park to enjoy a hike in nature. Public transit to get into the city, go to the grocery store at any time, attend festivals, travel, meet for dinner with friends, sit down at a coffee shop to read a book, do some work, or just take a minute in one’s busy day to relax and disconnect from the office or home. Take your pet to the vet with short notice, go to the gym, swim in a public pool, work from the library, visit a museum, or go to the movies when the fancy hits. Go out of your home to just get out and get a change of scenery. Meet people on the street, talk to strangers, gather with more than five people, celebrate your birthday, or a friend’s birthday, or celebrate the promotion of someone you care about. Go out dancing on a crowded dance floor. Attend concerts. Browse books at the bookstore, or at the library. Get a tattoo, a piercing, or change the one you currently have. See a stranger smile at you as you hold the door open for them, or smile at someone who’s done something nice. Go on a date, meet new people, go to networking events. Go ice skating, go rock climbing, play a group sport, or play in a musical group, do martial arts. Hug your mom, your dad, your sister, your brother, your friends…

All those things we perhaps took for granted before. Before when we didn’t realize how amazing they were. How great it was to be able to do them without worrying about deadly consequences. I don’t know about you, but I know I really did NOT appreciate some of those activities. Not really. I enjoyed them, but I don’t think I fully realized how easily they could be taken away from me. And perhaps that’s because I’ve been lucky enough to live in a time and a place where death is not lurking in every corner, like countries who face genocide, war, sex trafficking, slavery, lack of food or water, terrorism. Yes, I have been so lucky that I have never stopped to think about how amazing all those actions, all those activities, actually are.

I have to make a confession. I started writing this earlier this year, when things were still pretty uncertain, with the idea to write a before and after… and after going back to it sporadically, here I am, getting to it once again and considering if it’s a good idea to write it. And yes, I decided, this needs to go on paper, or on digital ink, as is the case. Why? You might wonder? Why regress to a time when things were more difficult, when there was so much uncertainty, when so many people were getting sick (and they still are, the pandemic is still happening, just at a lesser scale and better controlled in most parts of the world). It’s not over, but we seem to be getting in the mind space that things are coming to an end soon. Ah! The light at the end of the tunnel.

Here’s why I wanted to write this: first, we should NEVER take anything for granted. Being thankful for what we have today, this moment, is all that we can be sure of. As Mother Theresa said: “Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We only have today.”

Therefore, it’s important to appreciate the moment, to be mindful of what’s here now, and how we can better live our lives and be the best version of ourselves.

I was talking to a friend last week. Her partner works in the restaurant business. They live in Los Angeles, and he said to her that people were so kind, patient, and appreciative of the work they were doing when there were more restrictions. Once restrictions started to loosen up and there were more people allowed in restaurants and closed spaces, that same kindness transformed into complaints: “what do you mean I have to wait 15 mins for a table?”.

How easy we forget, I thought to myself. It’s kinda scary. I am not one to dwell on the past, but I think it’s important to not forget, so that we can learn from it and do better. What can we improve? What can we change? How can we modify our behavior to better serve Nature?

I was reading, and I believe it was Jane Goodall who said it (though I can’t be 100% certain of that), that more pandemics are coming if we don’t take better care of our relationship with Nature. I trust that to be true. We have lost our connection to the roots of what unites us all. We are all part of this planet and we need to take care of her, of its beings, and all that is part of this amazing world we live in.

I’m not a self-righteous person —anymore— so I am not writing this to preach to anyone of how they should do better or change their ways. I’m writing this because I am trying to figure out how can I do better? How can I become part of the solution and not the problem? What can I give up for that to happen? What can I sacrifice that is really not that important? How can I give back to this amazing world that has been so gracious as to let me be part of it?

I am writing this because I want to remember how this happened. I want to do all I can in my power to prevent it from happening again. I don’t want anyone to ever have to go through a time when they can’t see their loved ones, or attend the funeral of someone they lost. I want to remember what happened, how we acted and reacted. How I ACTED and REACTED. I want it to be present so that I can be more mindful of what I say, of when I’m ready to complain about the lineup at the store, or that I have to wait 15 mins for a table at my favorite restaurant. I want to remember to be grateful for all the little things. Of all that, perhaps, I did take for granted and I now know I won’t ever do again.

I’ve always strongly believed that it’s important to leave the world better than you found it (or a place, or another person, or anything we actually interact with). I’m trying to approach this without judgment (being judgemental of myself is one of my biggest mind-traps). I’m trying to give back and spread love and good energy. I want to remember so I can learn from it.

I won’t forget.

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