Bad Hair Day
The day my self-esteem and confidence was shattered
One of the things I stand against entirely is parent’s disciplining their children by giving them embarrassing haircuts. I feel this way based on experience, and the day I had to go to school with one of the worst haircuts ever. Even as I write about this experience, the feelings of embarrassment come back to me, and it hurts. I was in the eighth grade; I remember the day before the haircut like it was yesterday.
I was so excited about getting to school the next morning because I just got my first boyfriend. As a 13-year-old girl, you start developing your crushes and start having boyfriends, looking back at it now that moment meant so much to me because I was teased so much in school I never thought anyone liked me. Back to the story, I remember how long my hair was and how I was going to make sure my ponytail was just right, that I had picked out the perfect headband to wear and the perfect jewelry. I remember wanting to ask my sister if I could wear her dickies pants because those fit better than the other pants that we had to wear. As I was getting ready for school the next day my stepdad called me into the room I am not sure exactly why I got “into trouble” but I know that at this point I was still receiving punishments for what had happened over the summer (Read The Worst Summer to know what I am referring to). My stepdad told me to stand outside and told me to tell my mom I wasn’t feeling good so that I wouldn’t have to go to school the next day. My stepdad always had a habit of having me and my sisters tell my mom that we didn’t feel good so that we could stay home from school. I remember being so upset and crying because I was looking forward to going to school and I knew that my boyfriend would be upset because I didn’t make it to school and I didn’t want him to be mad at me. Throughout the night, the usual stuff happened to me. I was left outside for hours, and my stepdad terrorized me with his cruel words and actions. I remember asking my stepdad if I could use the restroom, not because I really had to but because I just wanted to sit down for a moment and it was cold outside. Instead of letting me go in the house to pee, he told me to pee in front of him. I was so humiliated and embarrassed as the pee ran down my leg.
Fast forwarding into the morning all my siblings went to school, my mom went to work, and it was just him and me. One of the multiple ways he would punish us is by making us do exercises. Today he decided that I would be doing jumping jacks and he made me do several exercises with a sand ball. Once I was done I was drenched in sweat and crying, he told me to go straighten my face up and that I only had five mins. I ran to the bathroom to wash my face and take a deep breath; I had no idea what was going to happen next.
When I walked back into the kitchen, he pushed me onto a chair, and I saw him grab scissors. I honestly thought this is weird and that he was doing my hair, but okay but no this man was messing my hair up! He was talking to me about how I betrayed him, and this is what you get, also that if anyone asks I just wanted to do my hair because I didn’t want my mom to do it anymore. All these thoughts were racing through my head because I didn’t know just how bad he was cutting my hair or that I would be the laughing stock of the school the next day. When he was done cutting my hair, he told me to take a shower and wash it. I don’t even think I looked in the mirror just yet because I was so scared and I knew it wasn’t going to look good. After I got out the shower, my stepdad proceeded to do my hair, he dried it, straightened it, and then I finally got the guts to look at it, and my confidence was shattered. I looked in the mirror and noticed that the front part of my hair was cut short to my ears, and the back of my hair was cut short as well. It was uneven to the max, and I looked like a clown. I dreaded the next day as I stepped off the school bus in front of the school. I kept my jacket all the way zipped up and my hood over my head as I walked into the gym. I could only get away with wearing my hood for so long until the security guard told me to take it off.
That day my bully of eighth grade just so happened to be sitting next to me boy did she let me have it. She enjoyed making fun of me that morning, and everyone laughed and continued to do the same. After that day and the remainder of the school year, I was bullied and teased; I was so angry because I couldn’t tell anyone that my step dad did this to me and that I would be crazy to cut my hair in such a clown like haircut. I was always being compared to my twin sister as the ugly twin, and no boys even bothered looking my way. It was horrible, and I contemplated suicide a lot because no one knew what I was going through at home and that they were making things worse while I was at school which was my only escape from my stepdad. At such a young age, my self-esteem and confidence were taking from me, even to this day, I still struggle with what I went through at that time. I felt like looks were everything back then because no one started treated me differently in a good way until my hair grew back over the summer, and I started high school. A lot of the things I've been through in my past have destroyed my confidence and self-esteem, the bad haircut that I experienced is still ranked as one of the highest moments.