At 40, This is My Life, and It's Not So Bad

I've learned to live alone as I get older. Please don't misunderstand me; I have a wife, a child, and two dogs. They are my everything. I have friends and a loving family, but I spend 90 percent of my time alone. I would say that this is by choice, but it just seems to happen. 

I used to hate being alone. I HAD A MILLION FRIENDS when I was a child between the ages of around 14 to 25. We partied, we laughed, and we were young. Where are they now? Well, being adults and doing their own thing in life.

I'm currently in the woods with my boy and two dogs, literally as I am writing this, and it seems as if this is what life is all about. I look at the muddy east Texas water and think nothing is more beautiful than this moment. 

I'm used to ticks and poison ivy, so this is just a mini vacation for us. We spend our time on the river and shoot guns. My son shot his first gun at two weeks old. It was a 22 caliber, and I helped him pull the trigger, but still, we have a story, a memory.

I look for snakes and hunt crows and watch my dogs play in what I think is a pond… my boy Logan and I bond, but mostly he sleeps in the back seat because he's six months old, but I still feel the connection.

I look around, wonder where everybody else is, and realize they have their own lives. Friends come and go, family is inconsistent at best, and the only person I can rely on is me and my wife. She's not here now, so I take it all in. I've learned to be ok in my solitude if need be. That's part of getting older.

Let's be honest. I'm 41, damn near 42, so I'll be dead before I know it. That sounds morbid, but that's just life, and I'm ok with it cause it is natural. We all die. If you don't see that, you're probably in your 20s… My best friend, my dad, died too young, in my opinion, so I'm left to raise my son in a way that would make him proud! (20 years later)

I must make the best of it alone because even my wife can't always be here. It's hot; I'm in Texas in the middle of the summer, so I'm simply dripping sweat. I can't see at all, but that's ok because that's just something I've grown accustomed to. 

I see my dogs and want to be more like them. They are happy in any situation if they have water; my love… they're good. They are so excited just to get out of the yard and go somewhere else so they can run around. If, as a human, it was that easy.

Why am I writing this? Well, simply for myself, honestly. I hope you can get something out of it. We could find our center together. Until then, well, good luck! Being a human is great, but we all know it hurts sometimes, and well, that is ok; it has to be.

Thanks for reading!

Also, if you ever find yourself in a bad place, remember you have people that are there for you. We just grow apart. Please, don't give up! Do what I do and create something. I like gardens and writing stories, and I'm sure you can find your calling! Much Love!

Please ignore this part!

This is what I have to do in order to get my post put on this website because what I wrote, even though I spilled my heart out, is not enough words for them. They really need to reconsider this part.