As a Black Woman, Dating SUCKS!

Brotha, I’m telling you dating SUCKS these days. The men out here are just ridiculous and CHEAP!

“CHEAP? Hell nah, black women need to start going dutch on dates and stop expecting a man to pay for everything. Since y’all want to be ‘feMiNist’ and all THAT why the hell should men still pay for dates?”

Let me tell you about my homegirl. We’ll call her Pam.

“You mean like from ‘Martin?’ I guess you Gina then. You do got a big ole’ apple head just like her!”

Shut up! Anyway, Pam and this new guy she was into were planning their first date. She suggested they go out to eat at a restaurant or something. He suddenly got militant and told her, flat out, he wasn’t taking her ass out to eat NOWHERE, and that as a woman she should cook for him on their first date.

She said he told her, and I quote: “The white man done spoiled you black women!” Because clearly, treating a black woman to dinner is yet another “dastardly tool of the white man to destroy the black family!”

Do you want to know what happened next? Me and Pam had a good ole’ laugh at this fool she ALMOST started dating. That’s what happened next.

“You’re mean! Anyway, what’s wrong with cooking for your man?”

I’m all for a woman cooking for her man. “Cater 2 U” is probably my favorite “Destiny’s Child” song. I ain’t gonna lie, I had old school ideas about romance all the way back in the 90’s when those ideas were already old school. So I haven’t got a problem with cooking for my man.

But if we haven’t even gone out on the first date, then you are not my man and I ain’t cooking shit.

“Ain’t you Christian? Watch your mouth! And if he can spend money buying you food then why can’t you cook him a nice hot meal?”

Because, I don’t believe in spoiling men that ain’t mine. That’s why! I don’t want him to get any strange ideas about this being a 50/50 relationship.

“Oh really? I thought you was an ‘Independent Woman.’ What happened to all that Independent Woman, ‘You Go Girl’ b.s. you females were on?”

I am an independent woman. I am fully independent…when I am single. I have no choice but to be independent then.

When I am in a relationship though, I’m interdependent. If I don’t need a man for anything, then what the hell are you here for?

“To give you this good dick!”

Boy, you better wake the hell up!

“What’s the real problem with going 50/50, mama? Times is hard out here for a black man!”

Man, when AIN’T it been hard for a black man?

And I don’t do 50/50 because the fact is male-female relationships will NEVER be 50/50, especially with you brothas. In marriage or relationships, women still take the brunt of the housework and the child care all while having to work a job and make time for her husband.

Besides, men always want to feel like “the man” and be the boss, someone their woman needs and looks up too. Dudes out here trying to be my “big daddy” but talking about we going dutch on dinner. You can’t be my “Big Daddy” if you doing “Little Daddy” things.

“Man, whatever! You just a hungry bitch.”

Yo mama. Anyway, It seems there’s some men out here that want women to go to great lengths to win them over and chase them. Especially, us black women because we are the “least desirable” women.

“Nah, don’t go there. Anyway, I LOVE my beautiful black queens!”

We going there, pa! We saying everything that needs to be said!

That’s the stereotype, ain’t it? That black women are least desirable compared to other races of women.

So some men think they can make black women jump through hoops just for their attention and affection. I feel bad for the sista’s that fall for it because, uh-huh, women like me and “Pam” see these type of dudes as punchlines. And yeah, me and Ms. Sassy pants were in our early 30’s when this happened and I am now in my 40’s.

Since I am old as well as “mean” have I gotten knocked off my high horse yet like so many men predicted?

“Yeah, because once you women hit 35 it’s all over for you!”

Really? Well, the first time I had a guy tell me I had to pay for my own meal on a “Date” was for my 40th birthday. That’s right! He had asked to take me out but then when the bill for dinner came he asked me to pay for myself.

You heard me? He…asked me out…to celebrate…MY birthday…and made me pay for myself.

“That’s right!” *Claps* “MGTOW, baby!”

So men of MGTOW, do you notice his dumb butt is still there with you every night instead of with me?

“He ever tried to call you after that?”

Yes, he said he wanted to “hang out” again. I told him he better go hang off the side of a cliff.

“LOL. You one of those type of people who gets grumpy when they hungry, right?”

You’d be grumpy too. After all that foolishness these guys, dead ass, expect sex on the first date. What the hell? Now, what rapper or what guy movie promised ya’ll men that foolishness?

“Oh, so a men gotta pay for dinner but can’t expect some sex after all that?”

That’s right! Even if you pay for dinner don’t expect anything. I get that there are some scandalous ass females out there who are hungry as hell and just date a man to get a free meal. You know how to avoid that? Go on a date with a woman you actually know and not just a pretty face in tight jeans!

“Man, I ain’t with that friendzone b.s.! If I see something I want, I go for it. End of story!”

Man, that’s all you do! You treat dating and love like a numbers game. You put out the net and see how many fish you can catch. Then when you catch a few you bullshit them just to keep them around. But when she finds out you were bull shiting her the entire time and breaks up with you, you talkin’ about MGTOW.

“You better respect the manosphere, woman!”

Buying a woman dinner is not supposed to be a JOB. It’s not a contractual obligation. It’s supposed to be something you are doing for fun because you LIKE the woman and WANT to treat her to dinner.

The two of you eat, relax and you get to know her better. You knew her before, you think there’s potential for a relationship based on your friendship and then you take her out to get to know her BETTER. Some men don’t see it that way. They see buying a woman dinner as a down payment for sex acts they hope to get either that night or later in the relationship.

There’s no romance and fun to dating with a lot of these men. It’s a thing they have to do to get sex out of you. This is the main reason I hate dating and don’t do it much, even if the guy is willing to pay.

“Alright then, so if the guy is your buddy-buddy then why can’t you cook him a meal? There’s no better way to get to know someone BETTER, as you say, then over some home-cooked peas and rice, some candied yams, a nice baked turkey or some fried fish…”

Boy, calm down! And you was calling me a hungry bitch?

And yeah, if I’m friends with a guy for a while it’s a little different. Not saying I would cook for him but I’m just saying I have to see where we’re at in the relationship. What I said before was mostly for when strangers ask me out.

“Still nothing wrong with going dutch, Apple head!”

Go dutch on these menstrual cramps. Go dutch on some labor pains, brotha!

“Arghh!” *Throws hands in the air frustrated* “See? there you go with that FEMiNiSm!”

Lol. Whatever! Anyway, If a dinner date is really that big of a sacrifice, you’d be better off to not date at all until you find yourself in a better financial situation. Broke dudes need to stop concerning themselves with finding women and put a little more energy into getting their money up.

“Stop being mean! That’s why you ain’t got a man…”

That’s why you ain’t got a woman.

*Sucks teeth*

*Rolls eyes*

“The white man done spoiled you black women.”

Yo Mama, punk! lol