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Are You Truly Ready for Love?

Dating sometimes makes you forget who you really are.

By Vera TischenkoPublished 4 months ago 6 min read
by James Orr on Unsplash

Relationships don’t always work out the way we want them to be. With love comes pain, and sometimes our love isn’t enough to give us a reason to stay.

Our hearts have been beaten and bruised one way or another. No one ever enters a relationship with a pristine heart. Naive, maybe, but never pristine.

We all have our own scars from the past. It doesn't have to be from a previous lover — the pain that our heart carries can also be from a friend’s betrayal or mistreatment by our family.

Consequently, this alters how we view relationships as a whole — romantic ones included.

Love doesn't always flow smoothly. No one knows if the one we're with right now will still be there ten years from now. Still, that doesn’t stop any of us from seeking love. Even if we’ve gone through the woes of romance, we still crave the need to be loved.

This begs the question: when exactly is the right time to start a new chapter of your life

with someone special?

This is a question that’s not easy to answer on the spot. It requires retrospection and careful analysis. To help you decide whether you're ready for love or not, here are a few questions that you might want to ponder.

Are You Secure in Your Own Self?

Dating sometimes makes you forget who you really are. You get absorbed into being the ideal partner in the eyes of your dates that you don’t realize you are slowly chipping bits of yourselves.

It’s no good trying to mold yourselves to become perfect in the eyes of others. This will burn you out a lot quicker than a relationship would. It is hard to commit to an exclusive relationship if you keep up a false persona during dates.

To build a strong relationship with others, you need to be secure in your sense of self. There’s no point in pursuing a relationship when the person your partner fell for isn’t you but the idealized version of you.

Don’t let expectations and unrealistic standards get to you. Only then will you begin to feel comfortable in your own skin.

Are You Actively Seeking a Partner?

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to have a significant other to share your life with. But more often than not, people look for a lover to make themselves feel fulfilled.

When people are at their weakest point in life, they tend to rely on others to help them break them out of it. It’s not exactly wrong. But what point is there in giving help when the person you are helping is not helping themselves?

The things that they want in life, they seek in someone else. Love, happiness, self-fulfillment — these are things that you should find in yourself first. You shouldn’t have to rely on someone else to provide it to you.

You shouldn’t pass on your responsibilities to your partner. They too have their own fair share of struggles. While there’s nothing wrong with bearing each other’s burdens, doing it in excess might lead you to grow too reliant on each other.

Are You Willing to Take On the Responsibilities?

Letting someone into your life means making room for them. You’ll have to find space in your heart to let them in. You’ll also have to change a bit of your everyday routine to accommodate them.

In a serious and committed relationship, you have to be flexible and understand how to meet your partner halfway. From there, you can start working on how to make your relationship last.

If you are not open to the idea of compromise just yet, you might want to save relationships for later. It’s not going to be fair to your future partner if they always have to be the ones to adjust to you. This will only mean an imbalance in your relationship, one where they always have to keep up to your pace.

Are You Prepared for the Commitment?

When you are at the stage in your relationship where the topic of marriage is on the table, you’ll have to brace yourself and be ready to face the responsibilities that come along with it.

There’s no avoiding the topic when you’re already in too deep. You can’t enter a relationship only to run away from it. If things go well in your relationship, it’s only logical to think about tying the knot.

by Sandy Millar on Unsplash

You’ll have to mean what you say when you exchange your vows. It’s easy to make promises. What’s hard is keeping them. When it comes down to it, you’ll find yourself struggling, and keeping to your word will be tougher than ever.

Are You Happy With Your Current Life?

When you are satisfied with your placement in life, it can feel like you don’t need anything else. You have a roof above your head, food on the table, and the means to help you enjoy yourself.

It’s great to be comfortable where you don’t need to rely on others for support. What would make it all the better, however, is to have someone by your side.

Being well off helps you think rationally. It’s a well-deserved rest after clearing through the toughest obstacles in life. You also pick up bits of knowledge that can help you navigate your way around life.

If you are currently happy with where you are right now, then why not give yourself a chance at love?

Are You Ready to Bare Yourself Open to Someone Else?

It’s not easy to open up to someone about your struggles in life. Sometimes, it can be hard to put in words. Other times, it’s too tiring to think about it.

This is when you know your heart isn’t ready to let someone in just yet.

It can be scary to think about what lies ahead when you go further down the line. Will you end up all alone by yourself? Will you be in a much better place five years from now?

Only you will be able to tell. After all, you are the captain of your ship.

It doesn’t matter how slow or fast you go. Life is a journey, one that you should thoroughly enjoy. It’s not a race where you have to come out on top to feel successful.

Love will come to you when it is time. When it does, you’ll find yourself even happier than you are.

Vera Tischenko, Dating Coach and Professional Matchmaker for Kiev Women


About the Creator

Vera Tischenko

Dating Coach and Professional Matchmaker for Kiev Women

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