Are You Clingy?

by Nery Tavarez 12 months ago in dating

Is the love you give overwhelming?

Are You Clingy?

Have you ever been called clingy? Or have you ever been told that you do too much? I am sure it stung to hear that from somebody that you love. After feeling the hurt of someone making it seem as though you are "too much" maybe it's time to sit down and evaluate if your clingy is good or the bad clingy.

I am the Micheal Scott of clingy. If you have ever watched The Office, there is an episode where... or maybe a couple of episodes where... Micheal tells everyone that Jan is his girlfriend. This is before they began dating. Micheal just couldn't stop himself from telling everyone that he and Jan are dating and that they had sex and that they went to Jamaica etc. I am in no way condoning this type of behavior, but what I am saying is that he became a lot. He became obsessed with the idea that he finally had a girlfriend. It was so much that she was never out of his mind and he couldn't stop talking about her. The idea of a girlfriend became so exciting that eventually, he was willing to do any and everything for her including becoming broke. Micheal never had the chance to sit and think. It is great to be happy and wanting to brag about the person that you are with. It becomes a problem when that person has taken over you.

Before I continue, I would like to say that clingy is subjective, it will always depend on the person that you are with whether they consider you to be just right or overwhelming. However, there are traits that are detrimental to who you are as a person that although someone may like and tolerate it, you will lose who you are entirely as a person. Now, let's divide the clingy levels into three categories: safe (Loving), borderline safe (bleeding in love), and dangerous territory (Clingy).

The safe zone is great. "Loving" is being a partner that loves to spend time with his or her significant other moderately. They love to go on dates and perhaps surprise their partner. The might send a good morning text every morning or give a phone call late at night. A "loving" partner knows that they need to spend significant time with themselves so that they can develop as a person and also a generous amount of time with their partner. A safe zone partner will not abandon responsibilities because of their significant other. They will not require their significant other to abandon responsibilities because of them. They will give all their love so that you ultimately feel completely showered will love, but in a way that they will not forget who they are.

The borderline safe is okay, but it can be so much better. This type of partner will call off work many times just to spend time with their significant other. They will require lots of attention and will sometimes get sad when they are not with their partner. Their partner is their world and although they have not lost themselves, they cannot see themselves without their partner. They have put so much time and effort into their relationship that it has become their life. The borderline safe partner has goals and wants to achieve them, but does not want it if their partner cannot be by their side. This type of partner can seem overwhelming to someone. They are not for the faint of heart. Their intentions are not bad but sometimes they come off as too much even though they mean well.

The Clingy partner. This partner contains all of the previous characteristics and more. They will abandon spending time with themselves, their friends, their family, and their responsibilities all because of their partner. If they are having a bad day with their partner, their day will be completely unproductive. If their partner has a hobby that does not include them, an argument will start. A partner that is in the dangerous territory has completely forgotten who they are. They cannot remember the last time they did something just for themselves. They do not take themselves out for lunch. They cannot watch a movie by themselves. The thought of buying something for themselves makes them feel so guilty if they do not get something for their partner as well. This type has extremely good intentions. Their partner is their everything. However, there is no sense of reason for their life unless it includes their partner.

Whether you fit into the first or last category, or somewhere in between. It is always important to evaluate yourself so that you do not lose yourself within someone else. Do not forget that before you met your partner, you were somebody and you still are that somebody. Don't let your partner become your whole life just let them be a huge part of it!

Stay well! Be blessed! And stay pretty :).


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Nery Tavarez

20-year-old English major!

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