After 20 years old, you have to develop the ability to pull away from others

"Some people live in high buildings, some in deep ditches, some light a million, some a rust." This saying is both cruel and realistic and tells the whole story of the gap between people, I do not know when and where quietly opened the gap in life.

Think about it, the world, some people with large dark circles under their eyes, day and night to prepare for exams, some people seem to easily pass all the tests; some people are anxious to run job interviews, but also some people are worried about the hands of several heavyweight offers in the end which one to choose; some people in love and marriage to do their best, or struggle, some people seem to be born to get the favor of all. Some people seem to be born to get everyone's favor, but others seem to be born to get a good wife and a good son-in-law.

So, we frustratingly begin to self-doubt, is it that the end of my life struggle is just the starting point where others are standing? I finally arrived in Rome with all my might, only to find out that others were born in Rome.

To be honest, I used to have such negative thoughts - thought that the gap between people is only from the origin, upbringing, and even the IQ to pull away. And this, precisely, is predestined, a person how hard to work is useless.

Until one day, I became the object of envy of others. At that moment, I realized that people's destinies can be changed by the day after.

2.

The story began a month ago. That day, Jia Jia called me to tell me that she had a second baby. As we were talking, she suddenly said, "You know what? I envy you because I could have been just like you."

Both of us were country kids, and we were almost standing on the same starting line. Moreover, from elementary school to junior high school, Jia Jia and I were on par with each other in terms of academic performance.

However, the midterm examination changed everything. At that time, we were both fortunate enough to get into a good high school, but Jia Jia's parents and even Jia Jia herself felt that it was useless for girls, especially those from rural areas, to read so many books, so they might as well come out early to earn money. But I thought that only by reading books could I see a broader world.

At 15, I was in my first year of high school, solving countless binary equations every day; Jia Jia was working as an apprentice in a shoe workshop overseas, earning 800 yuan a month.

At 17, I was in my third year of high school, preparing for the college entrance exam; Jia Jia told me she had a boyfriend and had spent all the money she had earned in the past two years.

At 21, I was about to graduate from college and chose to go to graduate school after much deliberation; Jia Jia returned to the village and prepared to marry a young man from the neighboring village.

At the age of 24, I got my graduate degree and found a good job in a first-tier city; Jia Jia's first daughter started to call me "auntie" with clear diction.

At the age of 27, I told her I was ready to get married; Jia Jia had her second child, a cute little girl, but she said she had to have a boy for her in-laws.

She said a lot to me that day, and the only thing that struck me was that Jia Jia finally said that she could have been the same as me. My heart was filled with emotion: it turns out that even two people with the same starting point can live completely different lives at a certain point because of the difference in their way of thinking.

If I had thought the same as Jia Jia on the question of "is it useful for girls to study", and thought it was most important to drop out of school midway to earn money, would I be like her today, getting married early and having a child early in the family?

It turns out that the way of thinking can change a person's fate!

3.

3. After working, I had the opportunity to meet more excellent or successful people. Some of them work extremely well and seem to get everything right; some are intellectually superb as if there is nothing they do not understand; some have a wide range of eyes and talk about a world I have not seen ......

Despite the different ways of excellence, in which these people bring their aura, I found that they have a common flashpoint: the way of thinking is not quite the same as ours.

Like playing chess, they have begun to summarize the laws of winning chess, you are still figuring out what to do next. With the same problem in front of them, they can not only quickly grasp the essence of the problem but also propose solutions, while you only see the problem itself.

This ability possessed by those who are really good is often categorized as high IQ or high EQ in real life. As a result, many people who want to become better and more powerful have pinned their abilities on improving their "double quotient". There are even many people who believe that IQ or EQ is natural and that people who excel come with "excellent genes" that ordinary people can't do. I do not know, this is exactly the cart before the horse.

Those who are excellent, outstanding people are powerful, but only with a core competitive ability - a strong cognitive ability to think. The gap between people is not necessarily IQ or EQ, but also may be the difference in thinking and cognitive ability.

Some people say that the current society is a high-speed spinning gyroscope, in which each of us is located. If a person does not have core competencies, he or she will soon be thrown out by the social carousel. Therefore, you either stand out or out. If you don't want to be out of the game, you must stand out!

Genes, origin, upbringing ...... these innate conditions are we can not choose and decide. However, the ability to pull apart the gap between people's thinking is entirely possible through acquired practice. Ordinary you, you can do it!