A Second Chance

I wonder how many people have ever ‘swiped right’ on their first love? After eight years with zero contact? That’s exactly what led to my sitting here with Daniel after not having seen him for over nine years, ever since he left our hometown to join the Army.

Daniel and I grew up in Hummelstown, PA, and though we had been in classes together since elementary school, we didn’t date until high school. We gradually went from dating to being “a couple” in January of our junior year of high school, and by prom that year we were totally committed to each other and promising to spend our lives together. Summer, senior year, the holidays, each month brought us closer and more in love. And then, tragedy. Daniel’s dad died in a car accident, and the sudden loss devastated Daniel’s mom and family. His father was the sole breadwinner while mom managed the household, and cared for the four kids; Daniel, the oldest was almost out of the house, but his youngest brother was just ten years old. His dad had enough life insurance to ensure the house and necessities were covered, but mom eventually had to return to work, and sending Daniel to college in the fall was impossible.

My family, and the community as a whole, helped Daniel and his siblings and mom as much they could. Daniel and I talked often about our future plans and our relationship, and it soon became clear that the best option for Daniel would be military service. The meager savings on hand for his college costs could now be used by the family, and there would be no college loan debt incurred by his mom. He was a top-notch student, and due to good timing and available recruitment funding, he was able to secure a signing bonus and was guaranteed his desired job field in the Army. The primary downside was that his path of choice would take him far from home for training and also for most of his likely postings. After many heart-wrenching talks, we agreed that our relationship would likely end in August when he left for boot camp, and I moved to start college at Penn State. That summer, though, was fantastic for each of us. Somehow, knowing our relationship would be ending, or at least be put on indefinite hold, made each of us appreciate our moments together that much more. We took every opportunity we had to be together, taking day trips out into the countryside of central Pennsylvania and discovering little towns and curiosities that surrounded our hometown.

Time marched onward, however, and Daniel had to fly to boot camp. After his dad’s funeral, it was the saddest day of my life to that point. Promises to write were made, but we’d even discussed that we would have no hard-fast expectations on each other. He was immediately starting his career and its intensive training regimen, and I had least four years of school ahead of me. My mom and dad took me to the airport, where we joined Daniel’s family in seeing him off on his adventure. Two weeks later, it was my turn, and my parents moved me into my dorm at Penn State.

In many ways, as hard as it was to lose Daniel, I was so much better off than my new dorm mates and friends I met in school that were trying to sustain a high school relationship while in college. I had a few girlfriends that went home almost every weekend, and a few others that either travelled to another college occasionally, or their boyfriend come to PSU. Most of that ended between Thanksgiving and the start of the spring semester in January, and for some the drama and the heartache of their breakups really hurt their school performance. I looked back on Daniel’s and my time that summer even more fondly and was thankful that we had taken full advantage and were also mature enough to plan for our separation.

Daniel and I did exchange a few letters and phone calls for about one year, and we did see each other once during that first spring break for me. Daniel had finished his initial training courses, and he was on leave before reporting to his first permanent duty station. We only two days and one night, but it was wonderful to catch up in person and we had an excellent time, both alone, and with our families. All too soon, he had to fly out again, and that was the last time I saw Daniel for nine years. Between his busy work and frequent moves and temporary duty assignments, and my hectic school schedule and social life in college, our letters and calls dropped off to just birthday wishes and missed opportunities over holidays when our time at home never seemed to align.

I had always enjoyed the sciences, and knew that nursing was a career that generally always needed qualified people in every city, so I followed that path and was accepted into the nursing school at PSU. The academic demands were fairly high, first to ensure I got accepted, and then to maintain solid grades in the nursing program itself. There was not a high wash-out rate, but it did happen; more important, though, was that one’s overall GPA and in nursing courses specifically, was vital in job placement. The higher one’s rank in the graduating nursing class, the better one’s job prospects. Virtually every graduate could get a job within a few months of graduation, but the juicy spots at the best hospitals went to the top students. I was proud to be in the top 20 of our class of 125 students my year, I and secured my goal of pediatrics at a nice hospital in Camp Hill, a nice suburb on the west side of Harrisburg.

I was by no means a hermit in college, and I enjoyed dorm life and my time in a social-oriented nursing sorority, and lacked nothing as far as dates and casual relationships with guys. Looking back, I think my experience with Daniel, and the way we had to end our relationship affected my thinking about college boyfriends. Since I had no idea where I would end up working and living after college, I always worked from the assumption that I would wait until I had landed a job, gotten settled, and was comfortable in my “adult” life before I really focused on finding a life partner. In school, I had five or six boyfriends, and two of them escalated to being exclusive relationships that lasted four or five months, but Brad’s graduation and Jerry’s semester abroad ended each of those courtships.

After eight or so months working in my new job, I started dating much as I had in college, following the slow and steady approach. When I met and then dated Boyd, a physician’s assistant in orthopedics, I for the first time since high school with Daniel felt that this could be the one. Boyd and I dated for quite a while, eventually becoming exclusive and discussing marriage goals openly. It was quite the shock then, when a girlfriend of mine told me she’d seen Boyd out with another woman one night when I was working nights. I confronted Boyd, and he admitted taking the woman out, but made excuses, including saying that since we weren’t engaged yet, ‘what’s the big deal?’.

As crushing as that betrayal was to me, I was later relieved that I had discovered Boyd’s weak grasp of fidelity before wasting any more time on our relationship. I took my time getting over the loss before dating again, and when a girlfriend recommended a dating app that she had used with good success in our city, I signed up. I was thinking more along the lines of no-stress dating for at least a short period to ensure I was fully over Boyd. I got a lot of requests from interested men, and went on a handful of dates, or meet-ups really, and was generally enjoying myself, when one night when home alone, I was shocked to see Daniel’s image staring at me from the app.

I immediately messaged him, and asked him to call me at his earliest convenience. An hour later, Daniel called me, and I was talking again to my first love for the first time in eight years.

“Daniel? Is it really you? I can’t believe it, after all this time has passed,” I excitedly greeted him when he called about an hour later.

“It’s me, Rachel, and I can’t believe it either. I don’t really use the dating app very often, and hadn’t touched it since updating my location a few weeks ago. So, you can imagine my surprise when my first notification in months was from you.”

“What brings you back home after so long? Are you out of the Army now?” I asked.

“No, I’m still in uniform, and bucking for Major shortly. I’m attending a course at the Army War College in Carlisle that is designed to prepare officers for field grade positions. I somewhat lucked into the class when some others bailed out, and I was between duty stations, so I took the opportunity to attend.”

“How long will you be here?” I inquired, and Daniel said six weeks, and then he would be leaving for his next post, down in Georgia.

“Well, sir, if that is the case, then I would like to ask you out for dinner at your earliest opportunity. I cannot wait to catch up and hear about your travels and adventures. That is, unless you’re dating someone. I kind of assumed you were single since you were listed as such in the app.”

“Yes, I’m single. The Army life is challenging enough, and then trying to date and then get serious with anyone is doubly so. So, yes, I’m available, and would love to join you for dinner. When and where?”

“How about tomorrow, Friday? Since you’ve been out of town so long, I’ll make reservations, and if you don’t mind, you could pick me up at my place around 6:30pm? Dinner at 7pm?”

“That sounds like a plan. Please text me your address, and I will pick you up tomorrow. I can’t wait to see you again. Goodnight, Rachel.”

The next day was busy at the hospital, but I was naturally excited about my date with Daniel. My current work friends didn’t know my history with Daniel, so it was difficult to explain that background, and also the charged emotions I was feeling. Finally, the evening shift took over our patients, and I sped home to get ready. I had picked out a dress already, so it was really just showering, make-up and getting dressed, which I managed to get done with ten minutes to spare. Once ready, and with time suddenly on my hands, I pondered the happenstance coincidence that both Daniel and I each were new users on the same dating app, and how he had lucked into a course that he wasn’t yet eligible to take that brought him so close to home, and to where I now lived. It certainly felt like fate had played a hand in our find each other again.

Daniel’s chariot arrived right on time, and greeting him at the door was a bit of a shock. The high school boy I recalled was no more, and in his place, was a strapping, strongly built man. We hugged, and I felt fully encased in his arms.

“Wow, Rachel, you look amazing. I was remembering an 18-year-old cutie girlfriend, but you’ve really grown into a fine-looking woman. I like the short hair cut. That’s quite different from back then.”

“Well thank you! I was thinking the same about you. My good-looking boyfriend has certainly filled out and “manned up” if that makes sense. And thank you for complimenting my hair; it’s so much easier to care for, and more suitable in a hospital setting. The restaurant is about 15 minutes from here, so why don’t we take off, and we can talk on the way?”

On the way, we gave each other the five-minute recap of how we got to the present time and situation. Daniel had enjoyed a few close relationships, but had never gotten close to engagement, as I had expected for myself with Boyd. He had done exceptionally well thus far in the Army, and was on the short list to get promoted to Major one cycle earlier than is usually the case for his time in service. The way he explained it, just being considered is an honor, so it really didn’t matter if it happened. But it did mean he was likely a shoe-in on the next cycle.

We arrived, and were seated at Gabriella’s, a cozy little Italian place, and continued our exchange of what we’d done and how we got to our current places in life. Taking a break to review the menus, Daniel chuckled while reading the wine list, and asked if I would enjoy a merlot with dinner.

“Yes, actually, I usually drink merlot and pinot noir, so that would be perfect.”

“Rachel, do you recall that school field trip to the Amish area near Lancaster, and how we passed the time when we got bored on the bus?”

“Actually, I do. We counted the blackbirds sitting on the barbed wire fence along the side of the road. As I recall we each came up with a different number, and argued a bit about it.”

“Yes, that’s exactly right. And if you believe in karma, I must finally admit you were probably correct. Do you remember your guess, and mine?”

“Hmm, now you’re testing my memory. Not sure, but I think I said 78, and you had said 77.”

“Correct again. Check out wine number 78 on the wine list.”

Daniel handed me the wine list and I scanned along, and on reaching number 78 exclaimed “Blackbird Merlot!? Get out! That is just crazy, isn’t it?”

“Perhaps. Certainly an amazing coincidence, if one believes in those type things.”

The server appeared, and we ordered that wine, and dinner, and then Daniel continued the conversation.

“Rachel, I don’t know about you, but today I was wondering about the odds of us re-connecting as we did, almost immediately as I returned to this area, and how we’re each still single, and we each were fairly new to that same dating app. It’s either the most amazing sequence of coincidences, or perhaps fate has brought us back together. Either way, I’m ecstatic to have this opportunity to reconnect with you.”

The server returned with the wine, and once we each had a glass, I offered a toast.

“I could not agree more, Daniel. The past 24 hours have been just wonderful for me, and I was feeling the same way this afternoon when I realized the long odds of us finding each other the way we did. So, a toast, to old friendships, and new friendships, and to this opportunity we have to spend time together again. I am so happy.”

“Cheers! Ever since I got your message last night, I’ve been thinking about you, and how great it is to see you again. To new opportunities with the best of friends.”