A Room of One's Own

"You are educated, financially independent and living life on your own terms. I don't understand why you are still complaining about women being treated unfairly", a male friend remarked quite exasperatedly.

For a moment, I thought he was right. What exactly I am complaining about? Who is stopping me from choosing whichever direction I want to go? I agree that the conditions are not the same Virginia Woolf experienced almost a century ago, at least not in my part of the world. I can pursue a course that interests me, nobody will forbid me from entering a library because I was not accompanied by a man and I can find fulfilment in any profession I choose. It seems we are living in that era Woolf had envisioned a century ago.

"Moreover, in a hundred years, I thought, reaching my own doorstep, women will have ceased to be the protected sex. Logically they will take part in all the activities and exertions that were once denied them. The nursemaid will heave coal. The shop woman will drive an engine. All assumptions founded on the facts observed when women were the protected sex will have disappeared."

After reading this, I could not help wonder about the present status of women. We are participating in all the activities that were once denied to us. But can we proclaim that we are no longer the protected sex? I do not believe so. We are still fighting for dignity and respect for the choices we make. My male friend would not have questioned my concerns if he believed that I am exercising my basic human rights by choosing a life based on my interests and it is not a special privilege granted to me because of my gender. The present status of women in society can be best described by Leslie M.McIntyre's below quote.

"Nobody objects to a woman being a good writer or sculptor or geneticist if at the same time she manages to be a good wife, good mother, good-looking, good-natured, well-groomed and unaggressive." 

Men often feel that the basic rights granted to the other half of the population were taken away from them. If we claim space beyond basic rights, then we are encroaching upon the land of the fragile male ego. The majority of the men(which includes 99.99% of men and hey still #notallmen) think that whatever is given to the other sex is being taken away from them. They feel that it diminishes their importance. When the other sex is deemed as inferior, men can claim superiority. 

"The history of men's opposition to women's emancipation is more interesting perhaps than the story of that emancipation itself."

Gone are the days when I used to passionately argue about the discrimination a woman has to face. Now thinking about itself exhausts me. When I read "A Room of One's Own" a decade ago, I believe I was in a Charlotte Bronte state of mind, extremely conscious of gender and the discrimination we are enduring. Rage was all I could conjure. Now I am living an extremely privileged life among a different class of people where such discrimination is supposed to be non-existent. Plain discrimination is easy to call out, but the discrimination and bias that manifest subtly lead to a slow and painful erasure of a woman's spirit. Fighting inside such a system itself takes so much energy that some of us entirely give up on things that bring us a sense of fulfilment. Yet, I cannot stop feeling guilty about not doing something for the next generation so that at least they will have a lesser number of hurdles to cross as they move forward.

Moving away from the rage of my twenties has helped me pay attention to Woolf's witticisms when I read this book again. I don't know how these gems escaped me in the first reading. I am glad that this time around I was clear-headed enough to read and enjoy those, despite the helplessness that gnaws my spirit.

"Women have served all these centuries as looking-glasses possessing the magic and delicious power of reflecting the figure of man at twice its natural size. Without that power probably the earth would still be swamp and jungle. The glories of all our wars would be unknown."

"Anonymity runs in their blood. The desire to be veiled still possesses them. They are not even as concerned about the health of their fame as men are, and, speaking generally, will pass a tombstone or a signpost without feeling an irresistible desire to cut their names on it."

"Had Tolstoy lived at the Priory in seclusion with a married lady 'cut off from what is called the world', however edifying the moral lesson, he could scarcely, I thought, have written War and Peace."

There are more days I question myself for spending time on writing and the futility of it. I live a small life and what difference does it make to have someone read about it. The final chapter gave enough encouragement on being myself and continuing this journey without worrying about the impact.

"So long as you write what you wish to write, that is all that matters; and whether it matters for ages or only for hours, nobody can say."

And I owe it to all those who have struggled before me to at least give a try rather than giving up entirely on this world.