A night I wish I could forget.

A time when I just didn’t quite fit in? Not as easy as it sounds, since I’ve felt that I never work in all my life. Whether it was with family, friends, strangers, or anywhere in general, I’m an outcast. Funny, my main friend group labeled themselves as outcasts, making me an outcast within outcasts. Sad. You’d think I’d be used to it, yet it still stings now as it did the first time. The first time that I felt like I didn’t fit in was when I was with my best friend; she had her wisdom teeth removed and stayed with her grandparents while she recovered. When we were in our early twenties, I spent the night and hung with her the following morning. What I hadn’t known was that her boyfriend at that time was also going to be there for most of the night. The whole night was somewhat awkward, as they were snuggled up together, sucking each other’s faces, her on his lap, being a bit extra, in my opinion. During dinner, they sat next to each other, and I sat across from them. Whenever I would say something, her boyfriend would cut me off and say something to her; she’d reply then look at me and tell me to continue before cutting me off herself. After that, we went into the living room and decided to play with the Wii that her grandparents had for her and her siblings, and everything seemed okay. I ignored being ignored or being talked over, something I was used to honestly. We started talking about what we wanted to do the next morning when they suddenly began making out and groping each other. I turned away from them, pulled my cellphone out, and began texting a guy friend I had a crush on. For some unknown reason, she got rather angry at me for starting to text while she was making out with her boyfriend. She began telling me that I was being rude by texting instead of conversing with them; how dare I text the guy I liked (Who she vocally, very vocally, hated without even knowing him.) I was surprised by her sudden outburst, laughed uncomfortably, and told her that I had been trying all night to have a conversation with her but that she was too far down her boyfriend’s throat to bother talking to me. Her reply took me back; it caught me off guard and even stung me. She grabbed the guy’s face and kissed him rather roughly before looking at me with a smug look on her face. “At least I have a boyfriend and not some make-believe thing you have with that loser you’re texting. I get to physically kiss and touch someone, not just dream about it.” I ended up shutting down a bit after that, I ignored her most of the night, and when her boyfriend left, we both went upstairs to her room and went to sleep. The next day she acted as if nothing had happened, and I didn’t bother bringing it up. To this day, whenever she gets a new boyfriend, I don’t bother to talk to her when they’re there. At least not about important things. I let her yap away to them and me about pointless things, not paying attention. Thank you to those who took the time to read about my moment.