A must read for every girl..

I'm pretty excited because I'm going to be talking to my fellow ladies, on the 5 things you shouldn't do if you like a guy.

They are a huge turn off! 

Have you ever found yourself in a situation, where you're wondering why a guy you think liked you, at some point stopped liking you?

Or stopped showing it?

Maybe you've found yourself in a situationship where the guy you like doesn't like you back, and you're asking your self, 'why isn't he liking me back like I do?'

Well, before we proceed, one thing you must avoid like a plague at this point is Desperation.

Because of the world we find ourselves, it can be pretty frustrating for a girl to be the one going after a guy.

While we have men who wouldn't mind, the fact remains that, this doesn't sit well with alot of guys out there.

That's why we keep hearing stories of ladies who propose marriage to their supposed love interest and get turned down.

Even more frustrating is liking a guy who suddenly stops showing interest.

Just when you think they're about to take things to the next level, they gaslight you. Mehn! That's some crazy shit.

And the society of course expects that a lady bottles up her emotions inorder not to appear cheap.

Ladies! If you are currently in this situationship or you somehow find yourself in this mix. I want you to know that, I totally understand.

But contrary to what you probably want to hear, I'm here to tell you those things you shouldn't do at this point, no matter the temptation.

Just because most ladies are usually very vulnurable at this point, we tend to make mistakes, and begin to regret our actions later.

Photo by Daria Nepriakhina on Unsplash

The first thing you should avoid doing when you find yourself in a situation like this is to avoid texting him multiple times.

When you say 'Hi', allow him reply before you can continue sending in messages. Let it be a two-way conversation.

In a bid to communicate with a guy we want, some of us ladies, develop a habit of sending multiple messages with the hope that he replies one of them.

Gurllllll!

He saw your message notification. The first message is enough. If he wants to reply, he'll do that.

Sending so many messages screams desperation. And desperation is one of the most common things that sends men running.

When he gets to reply, for those who do, and maybe politely, he'll probably give an excuse on why he ignored your messages.

Hey girl...

Do you know what he wouldn't tell you?

That he's hoping so heavenly that you somehow realize you're disturbing him.

And that's on a periodt!

Here is another truth I believe I have to let you know, before I draw the curtain on this first point, and that's the fact that while you're there sending so many messages, waiting on him to reply one, there is another girl he won't keep waiting, as soon as her message is coming in, he's replying too. So, please and please, avoid sending multiple messages to a guy who isn't that into you, even if you really like him.

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The second thing you should avoid doing when you find yourself in a situation like this, is to avoid calling him multiple times.

Just like the first point, one call is enough.

Like someone noted, and I quote, 'Unless i'm with your kidney, you don't have any business giving me more than one missed call.

I can't even remember who exactly said that, or where I saw it but, that was quite hilarious. And I found it really funny but sarcastically true.

When you call once, and they don't pick, let them be. The only commonsensical thing to do when they see it, is to return your call.

Well, unless they don't want to talk to you.



Wait!

Why would you even call Someone severally to casually ask how they're doing, if they've eaten and bla bla bla ....

Really??? Just move on, 'cos they've probably, already seen your intentions, of which they're not interested.

So just move on babe!

Calling him so many time is just going to be you telling him you don't value yourself and that's also you giving him the permission to further disrespect you by ignoring your calls.

Photo by Melody Jacob on Unsplash

The third thing you should avoid when you find yourself in a situation like this, is to avoid getting him physical or monetary gifts with the believe that he'll love you.

I'm not saying you shouldn't buy gifts for a guy or assist them with some funds when they need it.

Nah! You can do absolutely anything you want with your money.

But doing these with the sole intention of getting a man to turn around and love you, simply for those gifts, is bullshit! No cap.

Don't spend your hard earned money trying to impress someone who doesn't want you.

While some guys will politely decline so they don't feel they owe you commitment and relationship, others won't. When things get messy, they'll still let you know they never asked you to be their girlfriend or fiancee as the case may be.

I know most guys might not like to hear this, but the truth is, when a guy likes a girl, no matter how little they have, they'll feel so happy giving to the lady.

They are not obligated to do that, but they'll find themselves so happy doing it anyways.

So, if you have any intentions of getting gifts for that guy you like who obviously doesn't feel the same way about you, with the hope that showering him more gifts will change his mind, please my dear, abort that mission!

Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash

The fourth thing you should avoid when you find yourself in a situation like this is to avoid playing the wife duty role.

If he doesn't like you, even If you clean his whole street, sisturrrr, he still wouldn't like you.

Avoid subjecting yourself to unnecessary manual labour just to make him see you as a wife material.

Don't let no one decieve you, the old shit about "the way to a man's heart being his belly" is a scam. If a guy really likes a lady.... You know that one they've crossed seven seas and seven oceans to get?

Even if she says she can't cook, he'll say they'll get a chef, or a personal cook.

Photo by Jose Antonio Gallego Vázquez on Unsplash

Do you know some guys, in a bid to show how serious they are on not wanting to lose the one they've worked so hard to woo, they'll even offer to be doing the cooking and house chores if she says she can't do them, or he could suggest getting a helper.

In other words my darling, let's leave long talk, the heart wants what it wants.

Photo by Womanizer Toys on Unsplash

The fifth thing you should avoid when you find yourself in a situation like this is to avoid giving sex with the hope of winning his heart. This will leave you feeling hopeless, not to talk of other risks that come with it.

Don't even think of trapping a man with Pregnancy. 'Cos it's old news that pregnancy is no longer enough to hold a man who doesn't want to stay.

Besides, it's probably not the wisest thing to do.



I could go on and on, but I think these five points are the obvious red flags that men see easily, and run away like we nigerians running to the abroad.

If you're constantly feeling stressed and overwhelmed in a supposed relationship or situationship, then you're probably investing your emotions in the wrong place.

Instead of focusing on someone who doesn't give two hoots about you, why not learn a new skill? meet new friends, build meaningful relationships, attend conferences, network with great minds, hang out with people who care about your happiness, do fun stuffs, read books, live your life and not just exist.

Photo by Austin Schmid on Unsplash

I hope you've learn't one or two things from this article. Sorry it's coming as a hard truth, which you probably don't want, but you need it girl.

It's probably not the easiest thing to do but it'll save you from even more heart breaking situations and lots of heartaches in the long run.