A Big Thank You To Someone Who Means the World to Me

I haven’t been feeling motivated to write much this week. I wonder why since writing happens to be one of the less stressful activities I do. Shouldn’t that be motivation enough to write more?

I guess it has more to do with the fact that I’m dealing with a bunch of other stuff that is quite draining. One of them being a family member who has not been doing well health-wise. It has been a struggle not only for that family member but also for those of us who are at the receiving end of frustrated comments such as:

“My body is literally breaking down and no one cares!”

Sigh….

In situations such as these, I’ve come to realize that at the end of the day I can only control my behavior and not someone else’s.

How- you ask?

By practicing Loving Detachment which I discovered by reading Dr. Abby Metcalf. According to Dr. Metcalf “Loving detachment means that you’re separating yourself emotionally, spiritually and/or mentally from another person and what they’re doing, saying or thinking.”

I’ve found her suggestions on how to practice loving detachment immensely helpful in interpersonal relationships. At the same time I have also found these words from her article to be true — ”Now, detaching yourself from other people’s behaviors and words is great, in theory, but it can be a difficult thing to actually do.”

This week was particularly difficult for me as practicing loving detachment didn’t seem to work at all and I let myself get caught up in the tsunami of my family member’s emotions. It made me anxious and stressed out. I cried a lot.

Thank goodness for supportive friends! And for one friend in particular who went out of his way for me. He did some research and came up with a helpful idea that could alleviate the distress of my family member.

This is how our conversation went :

Him: “ I think you should get your family member a pet. It can be very restorative.”

Me: “Oh! I never thought about that but I can see how it can be beneficial. I know she adores cats but she has allergies so I’m not sure if it’s such a good idea…”

Him: “I’m sure there are cats who don’t shed. Give me a second here…” (I could hear him tapping away on his computer) “I’ve sent you a list of cats who don’t shed as much. Take a look.”

I thought it very sweet of him to notice how upset I was and take the effort to come up with ideas that could help me help the family member in question. I also was deeply touched by the fact that he took the time to compile a list of cats who shed less hair (with my family member’s allergies in mind).

I’m the kind of person who shows my love through simple but thoughtful acts — be it a compliment, a thank you note, a surprise gift, being supportive, or just being there. Having it reciprocated means the world to me so I’m thankful for that and him.

Since I didn’t recognize any of the breeds on the list of ten that included Sphynx, Burmese, Colorpoint Shorthair, Oriental Shorthair, Cornish Rex, Devon Rex, Javanese, Ocicat, Russian Blue, I decided to google the first one just to get an idea.

Kinda cute I guess…..

I’ve been reading up about cats that shed less and found a snippet from this article regarding cat hair and allergies:

“We love cats, but their hair can be hard to handle. While there’s nothing more satisfying than cuddle time with your kitten, it’s them you want sticking around on your lap, not their fur. In addition to battling pet hair in your home and dealing with high-maintenance grooming, a lot of the focus on floofs can center on allergic reactions. Because when it comes to allergies, fur can be murder…on our sinuses” — BondVet

Despite this, I know for a fact that there are many health benefits to owning a pet. In addition, they provide good companionship and are a calming influence.

I find that I am excited about the idea of gifting my family member a cat.

While I haven’t yet decided on what cat breed to get, I would like to invite my readers and cat/pet owners to offer suggestions about choosing the right pet for my family member.

Originally published on Medium