4 Steps to Getting Over Your Ex

Look... I know this is absolutely easier said than done.

You put time into your relationship. You spent your money. You probably shed some blood, maybe some tears and if you were really good at it, you possibly did a little sweating.

You wanted with everything to make it work but sometimes flames die down, people grow apart or people just don't want to do the work and that is when you have to let it go.

Here are ten steps to getting over your ex.

1. Cry.

That's right, let it all out. Cry into your pillow. Cry into that stuffed animal that they bought you on your 2nd Valentine's Day. Hell cry in the car, the closet, the shower. I don't care where you cry as long as you cry and then let it go. You have to allow yourself to feel every emotion. Allow yourself to smile at the good times and cry at the bad times. Allow yourself to relive the relationship if you need to. Sure you can walk around and pretend like everything is okay but that will help you heal. So cry an ugly cry and then stop.

2. Acceptance

Sometimes accepting that you are no longer in a relationship with the person that you have shared so much with it, is hard and we make it harder with our denial. No you are not just separated. No you all don't just need time. And no that's not just a friend that she met at the gym. Accept that it didn't work and that now you are free to find something that will work. People are moved out of our way for reasons...remember that.

3. Forgive them!

Forgive them even if the reason that you all are not together is because up messed up. Maybe you lied. Maybe you cheated. Maybe you checked out on the relationship and when you tried to check back in it was too late. Forgive them for the hurt that you feel because of their decision to walk away. Forgiving them is not for them, it's for you. They don't need it you do. Once you have made it up in your heart to forgive, only then will you be able to move on. Then...forgive yourself.

3. Have a Closure Conversation.

After a break up there are often times things that still need to be said. Whether that's. 'You broke my heart' or 'I still care' or 'I hope you die by a fire breathing dragon'. As long as you still have something on your chest you will not be able to move on. Maybe you and your ex are not at a place where you can have a conversation without biting each other's head off, so write a letter with everything that you need to say, get you an envelope and a stamp and mail it off. Maybe they will respond, maybe they won't but I know one thing...you'll feel better for writing that letter.

4. Realize Who You Are

You are someone. You were someone before your ex and you will most certainly be someone after them. You are now a better version of your previous self because your ex taught you lessons. They taught you what it is that you want and what it is that you do not. You know things that you did not know before them that you can use in your next relationship. So use those lessons and let it go.