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The L Word

Is it just a label?

By Tanaine JenkinsPublished 5 years ago 3 min read
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Are you Gay?

In my 23 years of life I had never been asked this question.

Since I was 17 years old I had identified as... I guess the L Word. Even though I've never said the L-Word, and the truth is the L-Word leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Why did I have to say that I was, you know.... the L-word?

I was me, and that was all that mattered.

So, when this question was posed to me by a co-worker at a new job, because only at a new job would a question like this be asked, I had no idea how to answer.

Of course, the answer was yes, but why didn't she know that the answer was yes!?

I had been so use to people assuming my sexual orientation that there was no need for me to voice it.

There was no need for me to come out, and there was no need for me to where a rainbow flag across my chest, because I was the rainbow flag.

I was Jack on Jack and Karen... I mean Will and Grace.

I was Cam on Modern Family.

I was Ellen on the Ellen DeGeneres show before her coming out episode, and everyone still knew she was gay!

This got me thinking... who did I actually come out to?

My sister. I came out to my sister. Then she outed me to my mom, and then my father just assumed, and the rest of my family just followed suite.

I guess because I didn't like dresses, would rather play with a basketball than a Barbie doll, and I was what you would consider a tomboy, that it was just a matter of time before I realized what everyone else already knew.

And it also didn't help that my mother was gay.

Wait... I know what you all may be thinking... your mom is gay?

That's SO cool!

Well I am here to tell you that... It's not that cool!

She probably has on an article of my clothing right now, and if we had the same size foot I would have no shoes!

But seriously, all my life my sexual orientation has never been brought into question until now, and I think that I may have been offended!

I had never in life approached a woman; women had always approached me.

Once a co-worker slipped me a hand-written note, and it read, and I kid you not,

"When are we going to have sex, or whatever two girls do?"

I never told her I was the L-word—she just assumed. She also assumed that I wanted to sleep with her.

Just know, ALL assumptions aren't accurate.

But maybe I should have been glad that for once I was a book not judged by its cover. I mean maybe I should have been thankful that she didn't assume that I was a Lesbian. But because she didn't assume now for the first time in my life I had to actually come out to someone. And for some reason I remember being nervous. I told my co-worker my sexual preference, and then she had 19 follow-up questions—most of which you should never ask a lesbian, because we would just ask, do you want to try and see, I mean, since our only goal in life is to recruit the straights!

In a way, I guess that I should be grateful for the experience. If I have never been asked the question, if she has indeed assumed or judged me simply based on my outside appearance I would have never been given the opportunity to say, "Yes, yes I am a Lesbian."

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About the Creator

Tanaine Jenkins

Life's experiences are the best lessons. What we chose to take from those experiences is the medicine that can either cure us or just mask the symptoms that will eventually surface later down the line. Be wise in your choice.

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