3 Unconventional Ways to Get over Your Ex

Exes seem to be a severe problem in this world in which we live. Like sexism, the pharmaceutical industry (okay that’s just America), environmental issues, and unskippable ads on Youtube.

At one point in my life, I was dating someone who was hung up on their ex, who broke up with me, which caused me to get hung up on her — creating a whole shit storm cycle.

I then went on a journey to find another person by hooking up with any girl I even halfway liked, where I inadvertently found more souls stuck on someone from their past.

Even though every story was different, I related to every single one them.

While I’m still going through mine, I would love to share with you wonderful dudes, three ways my unconventional mind came up with three unconventional ways to help get over your ex.

1. Create

Write a poem.

Paint something.

Make a short film.

Start a business.

Creative endeavors are something we inherently do as human beings; everyone has something creative they can do. No matter how lame you are (just kidding, you’re perfect).

When you make something using the weird, wonderful right side of the brain, you’re concentrating so hard it’s quite difficult for your mind to focus on anything else (see where I’m going with this fam?).

It’s a wonderful distraction from the pain to create something fantabulous.

And it doesn’t have to be good. Please don’t make excuses like that. They’re horribly irrelevant. You can suck at singing but enjoy singing a song, and in the process forget all about He/She who must not be named.

However, remember one mistake to avoid.

Don’t create to prove anything. Odds are if you have that mindset, you’re bound to make things to show off for your ex.

Do. Not. Do. That.

The things you create should be for you, and you only because you want to create them. Especially during this time of your life, when all you wanna do is be with this person who you just lost.

Creating cleanses the mind. At least it does for me. I’m not a psychologist, so I don’t know what happens when our brains are in create mode, but I know it’s the most therapeutic shit out there.

For me, writing a poem or a short story about something sad helps me feel like a completely different person after I’m finished.

Taking pictures or doing something interesting with my camera always calms me down when I’m suffering from anxiety.

So do something crazy. I promise it will help you make some progress, and perhaps make something beautiful out of your pain.

2. Make a list

Guy Winch is a passionate psychologist to whom I stole this next unconventional way.

Mr. Winch tells mourning lovers to make a list of things on their ex and all the things they didn’t like about them.

Most people, including myself upon first hearing it, wrote the list idea off due to its pessimistic nature. Why would I want to write a list of things I don’t like in a person I still love?

We’re taught to try and find the good things in people, not the bad.

The reason Guy thinks you should do this to cure your heartbreak is how we view our ex—post breakup.

I like to think of it how early Hollywood viewed the American West.

The cowboys, saloons, outlaws, sheriffs, and every other genre trope in an old western, we see a severe case of romanticism that covers up the truth about the west.

There was no John Wayne, the infallible hero who always beat the bad guy with his pure masculine awesomeness.

It was more like a bunch of alcoholics who gambled a lot and hooked up with prostitutes all the freaking time.

Hollywood decided to ignore most of those more ugly parts, and film a version where heroes rode off into the picturesque sunset instead of a dirty brothel.

Similar to how many of us like to romanticize our bad relationships after they’re done.

It’s why Guy Winch suggests this list. So you don’t end up with a bunch of cheesy western movies, or a morphed biased view of the person your ex is.

So make a list of all the fights you had. The things they did that hurt ya’ll’s comparability. Making a list will help your mind remember what truly happened.

Because they’re still a person, just like everyone else, and if you forget that you’re liable to forever see them as a John Wayne character instead of who they were when you guys were together.

3. Talk to people about it

I know this doesn’t sound very unconventional. But literally, everyone I know, including myself, tends to stay hush hush about their ex problems.

And it’s understandable. Being hung up on someone is embarrassing to talk about. It makes you look weak.

The last hit you want your ego to take is the idea of you being weak, right?

Similar to how an addict rarely seeks out help, someone who’s still hooked on their ex won’t admit they have a problem.

When addicts do get support for their addiction, it sometimes helps. Having someone to lend you their shoulder for sympathy, or their lips for the cold hard truth you probably need to hear. Having someone there can make a fundamental difference.

The key on your part is gathering up that courage to spill.

Believe I know, it’s incredibly hard to expose those feelings when you’re afraid of being judged or even bothering someone with your shit.

But man does it feel better when you get it off your chest. I’ve experienced it, and I’ve listened to others and felt it through them.

Just skip the conclusion. Call or text someone right now. In the words of the wise marketers of Nike, just do it…

Conclusion:

I never liked it when someone would tell me there’s plenty of fish in the sea. Like all I want is you, no one else, how could you even tell me that?

It hurts, but it’s true.

It takes a while to learn that sometimes. When you do though, you’re set free from an addiction to a person who you decided was the one for you, and that they’re the only one who can make you happy.

The truth is, only you can decide whether you’ll be happy or not. You may be thinking right now that this person is it, that they’re your only option.

Whether you actually do any of these unconventional things, you’ll be okay. The purpose of these three ways is to help You realize you’ll be fine. Creating something to remind you of the beautiful future you have, making a list to remind you of the past you’re leaving behind, and getting support from the people who love you for the pain you’re feeling now.

You’ll be just fine, you lovely person. Keep moving forward!