3 Reasons Why Some Women Are Afraid To Break up

When I split up from my first ex due to her cheating on me behind my back, and eventually boasting about it to my face, she did not take it well. In fact she did everything she could to ruin my new relationship, and in fact she succeeded in glorious fashion. Now I have to say this confused the hell out of me.

My ex had made it perfectly clear to me and to others that she no longer loved me. So I really was at something of a loss to figure out what exactly was going on in her twisted little mind. Eventually I kind of figured it all out, with a little help from her own mutterings.

1.What my ex feared the most was the idea of being left alone. Now given that I had discovered that she was having multiple affairs, with both male and female lovers, this kind of puzzled me. However, I think she was all too well aware that she was being taken advantage of by others who would abandon her at the drop of a hat. She sensed that they only wanted her for sex and when all the excitement of that had run its course she would be left standing all on her own.

2. As much as she slagged me off as a lazy, selfish, loser to all and sundry, that was really just to gain sympathy rather than being something she truly believed. She knew I was a decent, hard working selfless partner and was afraid she would not find anybody as good as me.

3.She was as jealous as hell that somebody she once had at her beck and call was now promised to another woman and not her. What's more, she saw me as being very happy indeed and hated the idea that I didn't need her to make me happy.

So those are the three reasons why women are afraid to break up, being left alone, not finding anybody as good as their ex partner and jealousy at somebody having what they threw in the bin.

Of course, this all totally illogical, emotive power running amok in the mind. However, as senseless as it is, you can never ever reason with it. It is not the person you are up against, it is an emotional Molotov cocktail that just destroys all within its reach, including the woman. But people are blinded to to the harm they are doing to themselves. As somebody once quite rightly said, if you want revenge you better dig two graves. Moving on....

Settled into my new house with a new partner, we had to put up with all sorts of crap from my ex. A few times she waited until I had gone to work and paid a visit to my new partner to slag me off, saying what a bad person I was and how Maria would find that out to her cost before too long.

Another time my ex called whilst I was out to tell Maria not to get too comfortable in my new house as the house would in the end go to her and our three children.

In the end, my solicitor advised me to leave the country since my new partner was from Spain. He told me that my ex would never give us a moments peace until she had totally destroyed us. And so leave the country we did.

The problem was that by this time Maria had already been brainwashed by my ex and made her own plans to take me for everything before my ex could get her mucky mitts on it. I had no idea that that was what was being planned by Maria, but she did it in such a sly way I hardly noticed until it was all too late.

After my second divorce I had to go through all that nonsense that I'd had the first time, all over again. I got taken for every single penny I had ever worked for and lost up to half a million euros because of Maria. I was halved by the first and quartered by the second, or bitten twice by the same snake as a friend of mine so succinctly put it.

To say it was a learning curve would be a grave underestimation of those harrowing experiences. Thankfully, after many years of self counselling I came out of it ok. And I am happy to report that after over ten years of being single, I did meet another woman who became my third wife. We have been happily together for six years now and love each other more and more each day. What's more, once again I have moved far from the scene of both crimes, as it were, on the far side of the planet. Here I feel safe and at peace, and long may it last.