3 Keys To A Long-Lasting Relationship?

Love is a weighty responsibility. It's far beyond the basic level of attractions. Love has been confused with building wealth together or just being attracted to one another physically.

After the fun in the sun wears off and the two imperfect inner persons truly meet, the winds of challenges begin to shake the foundation. What keeps the two that became one flesh together? Many marry then later divorce because after spending too much time together we tend to find every little thing to be enormous issues - they are chewing too loud, there's not enough room in the bed, you don't tidy enough, or we find out too late we are opposites, and conflict always seems to bubble up.

Remember how love behaves. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not keep count of injury. Love forgives. Love is honest from smallest to the greatest.

In my previous article, "10 Healing Tips and Awareness To Help You On Your Journey." I mentioned that in order for me to heal I needed a higher source of wisdom, higher than human thinking and fleeting experiences. This higher source is LOVE, love is the beginning source and the very reason humans exist.

The original source spiritual attributes, is patience, kindness, goodness, joy, peace, mildness, faith [not blind faith, or gullible faith][not blind love, or gullible love].

1. This higher wisdom must be the head of any arrangement. We have different connections in our social human world. Somehow so many still end up being lonely, not because they cannot have a normal communicative exchange. It is because they have built walls so thick and so tall they cannot feel a connection beyond these trauma-built walls.

It's fair to say that we all have been there, disappointed at someone or something. What keeps us accountable at the same level? By looking to this higher wisdom and following the instruction of clothing ourselves with the agape principles of love.

As a partner in a marriage, friend, parent, or just a passing neighbor I am accountable for how I show up filtering and correcting my behavior with these principles.

If connection was a tree, then love is its seed. What sort of seeds are we planting? Where are we gathering our seeds from?

2. Many times over we all have heard compatibility is important for a relationship to thrive. However, suitability is the quality of being right or appropriate for a particular person, purpose, or situation.

When we apply this higher wisdom that is greater than human recycled experiences, when used wisely as a filter to show up in the world we develop a higher ever-growing conscious awareness of how to coexist effectively. Love is more than romance, passion, and sentimentality, and those who choose this wonderful, yet short-lived, and limited transaction can not grow into a healthy flexible individual. When we use the proper principles that are governed by doing the right things towards the next human being guides us in a selfless way that requires intentional acts of kindness, decent morals with deep-rooted values that prick the heart and mind to do what's most important.

Create confusion, then attack is the art of war, but is love war? Love seeks and offers forgiveness within the right conditions.

3. Conflict resolution is key. We are aware conflict will arise but how we choose to resolve them could be a skill many of us have yet to develop. Some seek to fight and win because that's all they are internally skilled with from youth to adulthood. It's never too late to learn new internal skills and principles.

Conflict is unpleasant communication, but it has its reasons for showing up in any natural and healthy relationship. Listen to the conflict, we quickly build a wall around our vulnerability or protect our perfect little egos because we are taught that we are most important. There will always be some sort of compromise but it will be seen in character growth, not deterioration.

Conflict only expose the weak parts in our relationship, never start on the defense, start with listening to understand and asking ourselves these important questions before we have a weighty conversation, “what is my partner experiencing from me that I need to be aware of - am I creating emotional discomfort? Is it perceived, if so I need to listen to get clarity on by sharing my transparent feelings or allowing them to share their thoughts and experiences.

Honesty is love…

We do not get to choose when to be honest. When love is being called we decide if we want to spend the rest of our life being honest to this human being.

The reality is that when we choose a partner we are saying that I will be your spiritual, mental and emotional supportability partner, for the parts that I have seen and what is unseen.