15 Things Men Want But Don't Ask For

If you're a woman in a relationship with a man, you'll know that they can be notoriously hard to read. This is especially true when it comes to figuring out the mysteries of what they want from us.

And while there's nothing wrong with guessing, why not put in a little more effort and ask them directly? Here are 15 things men might want from their girlfriends, wives, or potential partners that don't require much work on your part at all:

1) A reason for living.

We know you're busy and it can be tough to make time for the stuff you like doing, but keep in mind that your partner doesn't want to lose sight of all the good times they've been having with you. If they haven't mentioned it recently, then chances are they don't want to let go of their relationship because of something that might or might not happen in the future. So ask them what keeps them going.

2) What they want out of life.

This shouldn't be hard to find out. Ask them what they want in life. It doesn't have to be about career or money; it can just be about what they want in the future and why. This is a way for you both to explore your own fears and dreams together, plus an opportunity for you both to share something you've been wanting in life but haven't been able to... up until now.

3) If they're thinking of leaving or staying.

If you suspect your partner may be considering leaving you, ask them. Consider it a preemptive effort to put an end to whatever they're considering so they aren't left in the dark. If they do ask to turn things around, reach out and be their support system as much as you can. If a change of heart does occur, make sure the relationship is mutually beneficial; don't let them walk all over you in pursuit of what's best for them.

4) What keeps them up at night.

What makes them anxious? What causes trouble in their lives? Whatever it is, ask them to vent. Maybe they'll tell you they have some financial worries or a ton of work to get done. Maybe they think you're going to leave them for another guy or that their career's not where it should be. Maybe they just don't know what to do or have the motivation to pick up their game. Either way, they'll feel less stressed out knowing that you're there for them, safe and sound.

5) What they want from you.

If your partner has been asking you for advice on a certain problem or issue in their lives but hasn't gotten much of a response, then ask him/her what he/she would like to get out of the relationship in terms of how it can benefit them. Your goals in life and the direction you want to go in are best found together, so don't let anything get in the way of that.

6) Your needs.

Listen. Sometimes when you think about someone's needs, you end up putting them on a pedestal and forgetting that they're human too. So if your partner is asking for something from you but isn't being specific, don't forget their humanity. Ask them what they want and be sure to ask how you can best help them.

7) Their needs.

Just like requests you make, it's a good idea to ask your partner what they are looking for in the relationship, whether it be a mutual need or something they're hoping to get out of you. If they haven't said anything about it lately, maybe there's something that's been bothering them that may help if you can support it.

8) What their expectations are for the future.

If your partner has been talking about their plans for the future, then ask him or her what they really want to get out of the relationship. It's not always easy to read what people are doing or saying, but if you're a diligent listener and try asking open-ended questions, it could help pave the way for understanding one another's goals in life.

9) What they think about you.

There's nothing wrong with asking this even if you're not sure about what your partner thinks about you. But don't ask for reassurance that they find you attractive, because that might just make them feel bad about themselves. And remember, no one's life is perfect, so ask him/her to give a clear-cut explanation of what they think.

10) Your opinions.

If you're not sure what your partner thinks, then ask them. Especially since this is a relationship, who knows better than the person who you're in it with? If they don't know what they think, it's not likely they'll be able to give an educated opinion, so define their opinions for them by asking what their thoughts are on issues or ideas.

11) What things are important to them.

This is a lot like asking for the meaning behind life, but instead of everything being about us, this time it's about them. Asking them to tell you what things are important to them makes it easy for you to realize what's most important to you, too. You'll find that your goals in life can align very easily if they're also priorities for your partner. So as long as you're both on the same page, there shouldn't be any problems at all.

12) What they're afraid of.

This is a huge sign that you're coming from a place of love, meaning you're taking into consideration what they feel and how they feel, so engender that feeling with respect and consistency. But if they don't know how to express their fears to you or tell you what it is exactly that scares them, don't press the issue. This can be an opportunity for them to work on this together and develop more confidence in who they are.

13) What they consider you to be.

This question can actually be a really tough one and it's not always easy to answer. But if you think about what makes them happiest and has made you feel the best and most connected, then ask them what they picture you as. Maybe it's someone who's funny and romantic? Maybe it's someone who likes to spend quality time alone with his/her partner? Maybe it's a partner with whom he/she would like to talk about the future and the possibilities for their lives together. This may not be an easy question, but life is better when you couple these things of theirs with love, understanding and compassion.

14) What they want from a relationship.

This is the question that can really help a relationship evolve quickly and mature into something special. Chances are that mostly everyone wants the same things out of a relationship, but this is about your partner's wants and needs. If you know what they want and respect each other's thoughts on the subject, then you're headed down a long road together.

15) What they like about you.

This may be an easy one to answer or one that they've already told you, but don't assume things. Ask them what they admire or like best about you. Maybe there's a character trait or quality that they love about you. Maybe it's the fact that you're really gentle with them or that you've got some really big ambitions. Whatever it is, see if they can tell you what they like most and learn to love the same things in them, too.

In Conclusion

So those are all 15 serious relationship questions that you can ask your partner. But the question isn't always the answer. It's what they say that's important. So ask them, pay attention and listen well to what they have to say and try not to think about it too much yourself. You'll find out things about them pretty quickly if you put in the effort and stay present for their responses.