10 things your significant other is seeing someone else.

I am writing this so that the other single people out there, the other people who has ever gotten that gut feeling in the pit of your stomach that the person you absolutely love, more then anything else on this earth, is seeing someone else. Like really is seeing someone else behind your back, not just a little fling, not that I am knocking those who are going through that, I am really sorry you are and in my personal experience they will do it again so don't take them back ever! But what I am talking about is your significant other actually having another relationship other then you. You think your in a monogamous relationship but the other person never lets you know that they are dating more then just you. Hell I am sure there are some people out there that have found out that the person they are married to has like 2 other families, which I am sure happens, hasn't happened to me, but cheating has and I feel so bad for people in those situation, that's like so much worse then cheating in my opinion. Anyway, I am not just putting this together because I am a female scorned. I am putting this together in hopes that you wont talk yourself into staying in a relationship that your gut and your heart is saying that there is something wrong, though you stay anyway. ("Hello Mcfly, its time to leave, why aren't you leaving yet?") This is for the people who have dating someone for more then a couple of months, like 8 months to year or two. Breaking up sucks really bad, but you heal from it, and you never know the next time around may not be so bad. Maybe when you date again the next person wont do those things to you and you will be fine. Maybe, just maybe they will be the love of your life, but at least you will know what to look for when your in your next relationship. Just remember to trust yourself, and if you feel like your taking something out of proportion, meditation is a great way to set your mind straight, the best meditation site I have found is unplug meditation, but that's just my opinion. I am not a sponsor or anything, I am just a really really big fan of the app. Ok, so here goes my list and I only hope people take my warning.

1.) They ignore your texts messages:

I don't mean you go and machine gun text them hundred times, I mean you have been dating for months and every morning its "good morning beautiful" and every night its "good night beautiful" then suddenly one day there's no good morning text, you text them and nothing from them. You wait until the evening to see how their day went, then nothing, no word. They are suddenly ghosting you until they feel like talking to you.

you start getting a feeling in the pit of your stomach that something is off

2.) You ask your significant other if anything is bothering them or if they are seeing someone else?

This can get tricky cause you cant just ask these two questions in the same conversation. Why? you ask, Because it starts a whole explosive argument and your usually the one at the time feeling back because they usually turn it around on you. Most of the time though if you ask if they are seeing someone they will ignore it and change the subject, to get your mind off it so they don't hurt your feelings. But if you think this, then maybe they are. You ask if anything is bothering them then it could lead into a good discussion that the both of you may need to have. Although at the end of the day if you think they aren't being completely honest with you, then maybe its time you walk away from this relationship. You cant be in a relationship if both of you aren't honest

3,) They hide their phone from you.

This I am afraid is huge. I am not saying you have to have each others passwords and constantly go through each others phones. What I am saying is, is that if their phone goes off and they quickly hide their phone, then its something the two of you need to talk about. You see, I always leave my phone out so that my person I am dating can see it. Besides I have three kids, and anything can happen, I want my kids to get a hold of me no matter what. If your partner cant tell you that they just got a phone call from their underage daughter who got drunk at a party so they have to leave and go get them, then there's something wrong. When I have my phone out, I want them to see I am not hiding anything thing. But if their phone goes off and you just look over and they immediately hide it, then yea, baby they cheating on you.

4.) They don't EVER buy you things:

I am not talking about taking you out to the movies or going out to dinner. That's normal, that's date night stuff, I am talking about its Valentines day and he didn't even get you flowers, no candy, nothing. I am talking about he made plans with you and then "forgot and did something else" he doesn't bring you flowers to say sorry, or do anything to say sorry. Just says sorry and that's it. Because your not suppose to be mad after they apologize, your suppose to get over it. Say your at a nice restaurant and they are selling flowers, they are suppose to buy you a flower. But no, they ignore it, your not that special to them. You end up in the hospital for whatever reason and sure they came and saw you but they leave 10 minutes later, they never even brought you a gift, or even yes I am going to say it again, not even brought you flowers, even picked flowers from the ground is better then nothing

5.) Makes you feel like your over reacting over everything.

At first it starts out that they are understanding. "Its ok to have feelings, everyone is entitled to feel like this every now and again its understandable." Then it slowly rolls into them being annoyed anytime you feel anything, then it goes to omg why would I do that, are you even thinking of the kind of person I am? yea when they get defensive and start turning things around on you, its time to let them go. Save yourself from heart break. They are not going to change no matter what you do.

6.) Spends more time with his "hobbies" then he does with you.

Ok I had this boyfriend who loved to game, I don't mean video games, I mean board games. He encased himself in them, he had hundreds of them around his house. I was so amazed of how many he had because I honestly never knew how many different kinds of board games there was. They lined his bed room walls and his parlor walls, then they were in the trunk of both his cars. Sadly he would spend his time at different gaming spots around town then with me. I would try and go with him, and play the board games with him because they were fun, but the more I went with him the more I saw that even though everyone was welcomed, I was not. That's when I figured out his other person he was seeing was at those places also, and even owned one of the establishments that had a bar in it, he wanted to be with that person but couldn't have the balls enough to tell me. Instead just let me be the brunt of the persons bullying until I stopped coming.

7.) They "forget" to spend time with you.

This one sucks but it happens. Especially when they are wrapped up in something else, and when they remember its hours later and their apologies don't sound genuine. Its not like they are begging for forgiveness, not saying they have to just saying it would be nice sometimes. But their whole attitude is like"yea, babe, sorry" and you forgive them because you think you they are the best your ever going to do but that's wrong my dear, you can do so much better. Your person is out there waiting for you.

8.) Slowly stops spending time with you.

Notice when you guys are first together, and it seems like are always wanting to be with each other. Then suddenly and slowly over a period of time, like say a few months it has started to slow down to once a week you see each other, then to once every other week. You start to wonder if its you, you did something, you didn't sweetheart, it was never you. yea.....they have someone else, and its time for you to leave.

9.) They don't answer your phone calls.

It was like you both talked to each other on the phone for hours, you would call leave a message and like an hour later they would call you back, then suddenly it was all for not. Its like they are intentionally pushing you away. they used to call you back as soon as they could, but then they just stopped calling back. Its like what the hell? What did I do I just wanted to check on you because your allergies were horrible two days ago, and I called once a day for two days and I get no reply?? no text message? like I don't exist anymore, WTF? Its called they don't want to talk to you because they have moved on to someone else and just don't want to tell you whats going on to begin with, probably because they are cowards

10.) They make plans with you, then bails on you, to take the other person.

This one sucks, this is when you really find out that they have been cheating. This is when it feels like your heart has been ripped out of your chest and your heart has been run over with a wood sander. Great you should have listened to your gut in step 1, but you didn't and you stayed and now you are here, laying on the floor crying eating a pint of rocky road ice cream wishing to what ever malevolent being is watching over us that you never let yourself feel again.

Maybe you will heed my advice and take these ten steps into consideration with whatever your situation is, maybe not as exact as mine but hopefully you find love with who ever you are with and live a long happy life. Whatever that maybe for you.