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10 Signs You're Affair Ready

Are you on the verge of finding side action? Watch out for the signs you're affair ready before you wreck your relationship.

By Skunk UzekiPublished 5 years ago 7 min read
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Contrary to what some may say, affairs never "just happen." There is never an affair where the cheating partner doesn't mean to have it happen. There's a point where they say that one time won't hurt—or where they actively decide to seek out a side piece.

Believe it or not, I've cheated on my exes before. I know when that point happens all too well. It's a point where you're affair ready, where you realize that you're most likely going to cheat.

In most cases, being ready to have an affair is a sign that you need to have a talk with your spouse. Or, it's a sign you need to break up with your spouse. Either way, it's a sign that you're probably already developing the mindset of cheating if something doesn't happen soon.

Your sex life is not what it could be.

Do you feel like your partner just isn't cutting it in bed? Do you feel bored, or maybe a little unwanted? A lot of partners stop feeling like they owe their lovers loyalty when they get tired of dealing with someone who refuses to have sex with them.

If you regularly find yourself feeling frustrated with your partner, or if your partner just doesn't cut it in the sack, the chances of you getting into an affair skyrockets.

This is one of the most obvious signs you're affair ready, but not the only red flag by a long shot. Should you display this warning sign, I strongly suggest talking things out with your partner before you make a drastic decision.

Your partner leaves you feeling alone.

You bring home the bacon. You clean the dishes, make dinner, and also tend to be the one to send out signals that you want a little love and attention.

Even though you do a lot, your partner doesn't seem to care. Your partner seems to act more like a roommate who enjoys the perks of being married to someone who cooks and cleans. Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

This is called being "left alone in a relationship." When one partner starts feeling like their partner no longer cares about them, or when one partner feels like they do all the work, there's a very good chance that you may start to seek out another option elsewhere.

You've lost attraction to your spouse, or your spouse has clearly lost attraction to you.

There are different warning signs for emotional affairs and physical affairs. Physical affairs are usually triggered by boredom or a loss of physical attraction to your partner.

Be honest with yourself. Do you still find your partner attractive? More often than not, you already know whether or not you have been struggling to touch your partner. Most of the time, that struggle also comes with a wandering eye.

If you have a hard time sleeping with your spouse, you're affair ready, and probably already know it.

Though you know you are attractive on paper, you want to know if you "still got it."

Getting locked down in a relationship has a lot of perks, including being able to rely on someone to be home when you get off of work. Unfortunately, it also makes you wonder about how attractive you really are.

A common issue people have during long-term relationships is a concern about how attractive they really are. People who go into affairs or start cheating tend to wonder if they can still attract others, despite a little weight gain or aging.

This is actually the reason why a lot of people tend to face off with a midlife crisis by committing to an affair. They want to know they can still get attention from the opposite sex, and so, seek out people who would want to get it on with them.

There's one person in particular that you're friends with who you're getting unsettlingly close to.

Emotional affairs are not usually sought out by others, but they still happen almost naturally. These kinds of affairs are insidious, primarily because they happen with people who always start off as friends, confidantes, or coworkers.

Take a look at your current circle of friends. Do you have someone who you share just a little too much about your relationship with? Do you find yourself wondering whether you should date your friend instead of your spouse?

Most of the time, these kinds of close friends lead to questions of fidelity. If you find yourself leaning on a particular friend more than your boyfriend or husband, you're showing a telltale sign of an emotional affair and it's quite possible that you're affair ready for a specific someone.

Lately, you've started to act a little more single than usual.

When you're affair ready, you slowly start to act like you're single again. Usually, it starts subtly, and then it turns up many more red flags as time goes by.

You might hold eye contact with hotties for just a little bit longer than usual. People who ask if you're single might notice a slight hesitation before you answer. You might get more touchy-feely with others, or you might start to hit the gym just to see people's heads turn.

If this sounds familiar, chances are that you are either consciously or subconsciously welcoming an affair into your life. Heck, your spouse might have even remarked on your flirty behavior previously. This only leads to signs they're not being honest with you, so why shouldn't they ask?

You've started to feel like you deserve a hall pass.

Many people who start an affair tend to feel like they "do enough" for their spouse. They provide, they toil away at work, they are there when they're needed... eventually, they wonder why they can't have a little fun.

This attitude, like a lot of signs that you may carry on an affair, is one that hooks you in gradually. You might wonder why you're doing all this work just for your family. You may even ask, "What about my treats?"

Having seen it in action, this is usually the way that cheaters justify infidelity to themselves before they actually make the leap to an affair.

You've started to check out others on social media—or wonder why you're with your partner because of that.

Affairs are, at the very base of the matter, a case of wondering if the grass is greener on the other side. Social media, especially things like Facebook or Instagram, can be pretty poisonous when it comes to keeping yourself loyal to your partner.

When you see all those sexy looking photos of people, or see how much fun others are having, it's easy to ask yourself why you're with a person. What most don't realize is that those clips you see are the select cuts of the person's life, not necessarily the full details.

Daydreams have started to happen more frequently than they used to.

Daydreaming can be pretty minor, but at times, it's a major warning sign that you're affair ready. This is especially true if you daydream of running away with someone who isn't your significant other, or if your daydreams are caused by dissatisfaction with your partner.

How many times have you looked out the window, wondering if someone else was wondering about you? At times, many people who are on the verge of having an affair will go so far as to imagine a fake person in their minds who sweeps them off their feet the way their partner once did.

A major life milestone is coming up or already came up while disappointing you.

Don't ask me why, but a lot of affairs tend to happen right before or during major milestones. Though there is not a full causation, a lot of correlation suggests that you're more likely to pursue an affair while you are dealing with a major life change.

It's often because life changes make us rethink major decisions, coupled with the feeling that we may need a final "hurrah." If you've been feeling very disappointed with life milestones, chances are you're affair ready—or have been at least considering it.

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About the Creator

Skunk Uzeki

Skunk Uzeki is an androgynous pothead and a hard partier. When they aren't drinking and causing trouble, they're writing articles about the fun times they have.

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