Alice in wonderland

I got lost in the forest ... As I searched for my way, I saw this huge hole behind a bush and my curiosity drew me to it. My conscience told me totally otherwise, but an outside force pushed me and I fell to the bottom. I wish I had been able to grab hold of myself to get up and go out following the daylight. I couldn't. I was then sucked down like a lost soul, during this hellish descent I saw moments from the past, objects that I loved as a child; my dolls, my colored pencils, my bedroom all painted pink with its images of hugs and happiness. I hadn't hit bottom yet, but I knew it was coming. Suddenly, in a violent and abrupt gesture, the ground quickly stopped my fall.

Where am I at? Why was I so dumb to get caught up in the game through a rabbit hole! I had never had a moment of weakness like this in my entire life. So I was starting to weaken? I let my guard down for just one moment and here I am! What a fool I am ... I can search all the corners of this amplified hole of darkness, I can’t find anything to show me the way out. If I can remember the wonderful story of Alice in Wonderland, all I need to do is find a magic potion, a cupcake, fight an evil queen and I can go home. It's very simple, isn't it? But there I search and find nothing. Not the slightest trace of the potion, no locked door, not even a small ray of hope to dictate the rest of this journey. Why I fell so stupidly into the abyss Why my strength and intelligence didn’t keep me on the surface.

I am now patrolling my darkest thoughts and thoughts without understanding what is happening to me. I cry out for help, no one can hear me, no one to come and help. I'm lonely ... I always have been. Only. Now my mind is clearing. Loneliness has always been by my side. When I think of my story, my thought of life on this damn planet, I realize that it has always been there to furnish my daily life. I did not fall into a hole by chance. In fact, I've lived there my entire life. From my early childhood to this day, I have constantly tried to put color on the walls of my room, on the lines of my life, but the darkness took its place.

Alice was lucky enough to fall into a rabbit hole. She had this incredible chance to discover this imaginary world that I have been looking for ever since. I did not fall into this hole by chance. Now I have to figure out how to get out of it without losing my mind.

I stumbled into the black hole of my consciousness, tumbled into the dark side of my thoughts. I don't know how I got there because I'm so strong, so powerful in normal times. How can I become the painful one? And now, to get out of this I have to ask for help ... How do I do that? I have to face the facts and so admit that no one is immune to the darkness that watches over us. She sits back while we seem to be in control of our lives, but always ready to pounce when a moment of weakness assails us. She tries to gain the upper hand over me, over my thoughts, my beliefs, my ideologies ... How can I silence her?