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The No. 1 Rule You Must Follow at the Playboy Mansion

You MUST Always........Follow Your Dick: A "Beverly Hills Cop II" Movie Review

By Digital_FootPrintPublished about a month ago 19 min read
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The No. 1 Rule You Must Follow at the Playboy Mansion
Photo by Jernej Graj on Unsplash

What do you get when you take a smoking, hot blond, a ruthless businessman and a fast-talking cop and you put them all in one movie together?! 

You get one of the greatest sequels in the history of cinema.

Who Says Sequels Can't Be Better Then the Original

Here we go! Beverly Hills Cop part deux. They already got me hooked in with the intense opening music.

It has this little thump to it that's letting you know that shit's about to get real.

There's awfully a lot of fog in Beverly Hills in this shot.

I wonder does it really get foggy like that there or is it just the case of some really good special effects being displayed here.

That's a really nice-looking stretch limousine there.

Speaking of stretch, how about Brigitte Nielsen and them long ass legs.

She must've dranked plenty of milk coming up because it has certainly done her body real good.

Karla Fly, the voluptuous villain played by Brigitte Nielsen, and crew are getting ready to take down a jewelry store.

Why is this fool upstairs just standing there?!

You have a tall blond with a gun drawn on you!

Get your stupid ass on the floor! Smh.

Nielsen orders him to "eat the floor."

I saw the way the man glanced at ole' Brigitte. I think he wants to eat something else and it ain't that nasty ass floor.

Now, you got another lady on the floor reaching for a phone as Karla blasts a vase away right next to her and telling her to "eat the floor" as well.

These have to be some of the dumbest hostages I've ever seen.

Don't they know to keep their asses on the floor and don't move until these motherfuckers take what they have to take?!

Didn't these people learn anything in hostage-acting school?!

All that jewerly can be replaced. However, you, sir and ma'am, cannot be.

The guns that the bad guys are firing sound bad ass. They had an excellent special effects man as well I see.

Now, we're in Detroit to introduce Axel Foley into the movie.

During the whole Axel Foley opening montage, you can clearly see that the money has stepped up for this entire presentation.

You see Axel with a fresh cut, wearing an expensive suit with shades to match and driving around in a brand new Ferrari.

It's a little bit on the unrealistic side for a cop but it paints him as being one cool mofo.

They still have the cheesy 80's pop music which does the film justice.

After all, the year is 1987.

He hightails the Ferrari over to a bar to meet with a contact.

Murphy, or the stunt actor I should say is driving the hell out that Ferrari.

Hot damn! Who in the hell is the smoking, hot blond bombshell he encounters!

Apparently, her name is Judy and "she can suck a golf ball thru 50 feet of a water hose."

Gulps. That's quite an impressive skill to have.

There's just something about those Hollywood women from yesteryear.

What the hell happened?! Smh! 

Anyways, back to the scene.

Foley and the local hood make Judy's fine ass move out the way so they can talk business. She goes away, begrudgingly

If I was any of those gentlemen at the bar, I would've offered her a seat and told her this,

"as long as I gotta face, you will always have a place to sit." You know, gentleman style.

The next scene takes us back to Beverly Hills.

Bogomil's going for a jog or he is? (Scratches chin)

It looks more like he's scoping out a potential lead in an investigation.

*Note to readers: Please read all of that in a Stacy Keach font to give it the attended effect.

Excellent dialogue between Foley and Bogomil as the two catch up on old times over the phone.

Bogomil informs Foley that he's working on a case and will have to cancel their fishing trip.

You can tell Bogomil's a good man and unfortunately, like a lot of good men, he's working for an idiot named Chief Harold Lutz.

You know, that's how these companies do in real life.

They take an honest man/woman and they put them under some asshole who wouldnt know the difference between his/her asshole and the proverbial "whole in the wall."

And just like any good man or woman, they always have the back of their fellow officers after they get chewed out by "said" asshole just for doing their jobs.

Unfortunately, Bogomil gets himself suspended for standing up for his men.

I think the actor that plays Bogomil might be around 90 years old but I feel like he should definitely be in the newest film.

Let me head over to imdb.com to see if he is.

Presses pause on my LaserDisc player.

Lets see here….His name is Ronny Cox and he will turn 86 in July.

Unfortunately, he's not in the newest Beverly Hills Cop sequel scheduled to premiere later on this year.

Interesting tidbit though, Cox would pair up again with Murphy for the 2009 film, "Imagine That."

I saw a clip of Murphy in a movie on Cox's imdb page and thought it was for the new "BHC" movie. 

I have no clue what "Imagine That" was about.

I bet it was one of those string of movies Murphy was doing during that time period that nobody was going to see.

Back to the film.

Ahhhh, Brigitte Nielsen. She's even hot in that bad, black wig they put her in for this scene.

This was back when she was in her heyday.

Now I understand why Sly Stallone risked it all on those long legs.

Climbing that tree would be like climbing the stairway to Heaven.

Damn, she just shot Bogomil. That bitch!

You see? Bogomil went out of his way to be a good samaritan and receives two slugs to the chest for his act of kindness.

Back in Detroit, Foley's trying to set up a sting operation to catch some local crooks when he learns of Bogomil's shooting.

He calls and gets in touch with Jan (Bogomil's daughter) to learn about her father's condition.

Jan lets him know that things are not looking too good as she passes the phone on over to Rosewood.

Rosewood tells Foley that him and Taggart aren't allowed on the case.

Foley hangs up because his "sellers" from the bar are here and one of the hoods looks awfully familiar.

That's because he was the same crook that Foley was seen hassling with in the first "Beverly Hills Cop" movie.

I must add that these two guys that play crooks are incredibly, convincing.

They both look like guys that"know a guy who knows a guy" that can get you anything you want.

Foley asks Jeffery, played by Paul Reiser, to cover for him so that he can go to Beverly Hills to find out who set up Bogomil but not before being tore a new one by Inspector Gill, Foley's boss.

Gill informs Foley that he has 3 days to bring closure to his sting operation. Otherwise,

"he's going to grind his ass into dogmeat¹." (21:26–21:29) Ouch!

Unbeknownst to Inspector Todd, Foley plans to go "deep, deep undercover" to solve his friend's shooting in Cali.

Axel arrives in Beverly Hills to visit the hospital.

There he greets Rosewood and Taggart who fill him on what went down involving Bogomil's shooting.

He goes into the ER to console Bogomil's grieving daughter where he sees that Bogomil's not looking good at all.

Next, we go from somber to happy as we segue into Axel Foley riding around town with the song du jour playing the background

This time it's James Ingram's, "Better Way."

A very catchy tune that captures the beautiful scenery in Beverly Hills rather perfectly.

By Travis Colbert on Unsplash

When I say scenery, I'm talking about the expensive cars and the even more expensive women and not necessarily in that order.

While that James Ingram record was playing, I thought of something.

It seems in the 1980's that whenever a movie studio was looking for a hit song, he was one of only a few people who were contacted.

The others being Patti Labelle and Michael McDonald. 

Not a bad list to be on.

As Foley's cruising the mean streets of Beverly Hills, they show a scene of two bad ass kids hitting cars with folded up newspapers setting off car alarms.

Those kids need their asses whipped.

They show some hotties in the jeep. Those "actresses" back then were some fine ladies.

The "Axel Foley building inspector" scene is a flawless masterpiece.

Murphy just naturally has to be one of the best shit-talkers the film industry has ever seen.

Now, that's really saying something considering he's in the land of shit-talking where everybody's trying to make a comeup off the back of the next man or woman.

Foley's right though, "if they want to live in a donut, let them live in one."

Sometimes, folks do strange shit when they get a little bit of dough in their pockets.

Get it? Dough? Donuts? You use dough to make donuts?

I'll be here all week, people. Where's my rimshot?! (Pause)

Speaking of people doing something strange once they get a little change, I have seen all kinds of housing designs that look God-awful.

I think Jay-Z and Beyonce purchased a house that contained a massive amount of windows.

That house looks like it wouldn't stand up to a sneeze from my grandfather, let alone some heavy duty thunderstorms.

Ah well. It's their money. Let them blow it as they see fit.

Foley has acquired his own vacation home and it won't cost him no 235 a night like it did in the first "BHC" movie.

Foley's at the police station with the fellas going over evidence from the alphabet heists.

There Axel….excuse me!…Johnny Wishbone meets Chief Inspector Lutz.

Axel persuades Taggart and Rosewood to take on the task of finding out who shot Bogomil.

Foley's given a name of a local gun dealer and heads down to his shooting range to find out more info.

He craftedly gets on over the front desk secretary that looks like she could be Taylor Swift's mama.

Murphy's wittiness takes this scene to a whole other level.

"This the same way Bootsy got killed. All they found was 20 dollars and a pair of Addidas²." (34:11–34:15)

Now, Taylor Swift's mama knows she has more then 20 smackeroos in her purse.

She could've given the man at least 40.

She could be one of those folks that look "rich" but are really living check to check.

*Sidenote: That wasn't really Taylor Swift's mama. I don't know who the hell that woman was. Plus, I'm not trying to get sued. So Ms. Swift, if by any chance, you or your people are reading this, know that I'm only kidding.

Back in the car, Rosewood reminds Taggart of the many reasons why his woman left his ass.

Wow! Some friend he is!

Meanwhile, Foley's questioning the local gunsmith about the shell casings found at one of the robberies when Karla Fray walks in.

You know, I don't remember one time her being referred to as Karla Fray so I'm going to call her Brigitte Nielsen instead.

Make no mistake, this is NOT your grandson's Brigitte Nielsen or Flavor Flav's Brigitte either. Ewwwww.

This is the limited edition "Red Sonja," Brigitte Nielsen.

Foley's right though because got'damn! She's one big bitch indeed.

We're introduced to another one of the lead villains in this next scene, a Maxwell Dent, brilliantly portrayed by Jürgen Prochnow.

Jürgen Prochnow?! Now that's a bad ass name. 

Brigitte informs Dent that Foley's asking questions.

The dude from "Quantum Leap" is taken to task by Dent who orders him to take out Foley.

Oh and it's Dean Stockwell by the way. 

I remembered his face but his name escaped my brain. Don't you just hate it when that happens?!

He portrays a character by the name of Chip Cain.

Chip Cain?

That doesn't sound very menacing at all. It sounds more like a youth football coach then a cold-blooded mastermind.

I must reiterate about how cool those gunshots sound.

Now I know real gunfire doesn't sound like that but it's perfect in movies especially on a decent surround sound system.

Foley poises yet another interesting question because I also wonder how long does it take for Brigitte to shave her legs as well.

Now, I'm not offering my "grooming services" like he did. 

That's her job. I just want to marvel and slobber all over the finished product.

I gotta hand it to Brigitte though. 

I love the way she handles a firearm and I have a big weapon on me that she can handle anytime she pleases.

*Sidenote: I'm speaking of the 1987 version of Brigitte Nielsen only.

I was shitting all over the "Chip Cain" name earlier but I must admit that Dean Stockwell does an excellent portrayal of "Chip." 

The name might be shit but he certainly has the presentation down of a bad guy down to an exact science. 

Foley's riding around in a really, nice car.

I'm not sure what kind it is though. 

It looks like it could be a Corvette. 

I wish my brother was up so I could ask him but it's still one helluva ride nevertheless.

By Brandon Atchison on Unsplash

Foley heads to Bogomil's house trying to find out what he was investigating before he got shot where he's confronted by his daughter, Jan, who has her very own gun.

Talk about keeping it in the family!

The actress who plays his daughter does a great job. The casting in this movie is just as superb as it was in the first one. 

Foley discovers Bogomil's shoes which are full of clay from when he went "jogging" before he got shot. 

Taggart and Rosewood arrive at Foley's "uncles'" mansion which leads to one of the funniest parts of the film which sees Taggart fall into the pool.

"Axel get out of the got'damn poooollll³." (45:41–45:43) Splash! As Rosewood bursts out into laughter.

You know, I read somewhere that wasn't supposed to happen.

Taggart heads upstairs to get a change of clothes. 

Unfortunately, the man has no fashion sense whatsoever.

After he gets dressed, he comes downstairs looking like a "Caddyshack" extra.

Unknowingly, the trio's being followed by Chip Cain's henchmen as they leave the lavish mansion.

Oh, hell yeah! Another strip club scene.

Yes! Just look at all those women on the poles shaking what they mamas gave them all while dealing with their various daddy issues as George Michael's "I Want Your Sex" is playing in the background.

By the way, that's a heck of record especially, the "Monogamy Mix." It's over 13 minutes long but you'll definitely be digging it. Check it out when you get time. 

Now, this stripper looks very……lets see how can I put it….very mannish.

This is where we're introduced to another archvillain by the name of Nikos Thomopolis played by Paul Guilfoyle.

Now that's what I call the perfect name for a murderous villain. 

I don't think Taggart looks anything like Gerald Ford but he's certainly dressed like him.

They have Pebbles "Love/Hate Thing" playing in the background.

Pebbles? Now that's a blast from the past.

All you here about her these days is about how she stole all of TLC's money.

There's an attempted hit on the three cops as they're leaving the gentlemen's club.

Here comes idiot Lutz. 

Oops! I mean Inspector Lutz as he lays into these guys for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. 

After getting chewed out by idiot Lutz, the men head to Rosewood's place.

This man has more plants inside his house then my grandmother had in her entire lifetime.

Rosewood introduces Foley to Big Al, his beloved pet turtle, which sparks this convo between the two,

"Foley: You know turtles are amazing to me. Rosewood: Heyyyy! What are you doing?! Foley: I'm curious to know where, where, where his dick is at. Rosewood: Give me him. You know where your dick is, don't you Big Al?! Foley: But do turtles have dicks⁴?" (famous Eddie Murphy laugh) (53:21–53:35)

As interesting of a question as it is, I don't want to know the answer.

Like I said before in another post, Foley was MacGyver before MacGyver.

He shows his fellow cops a neat trick to pull a fingerprint off of a stick of matches.

Turns out, the print belongs to one Chip Cain.

The trio heads down to the gun club where they break in to find more info on Mr. Cain.

Foley shows off more of his skills.

We see Foley break-in through the door of a state-of-the-art security system with a single bubble gum wrapper.

I tried that shit before and it failed. 

Maybe, I should've used Doublemint instead of Tropical Fruit Bubbalicious.

Ooooh, he's Charles Cain.

Why does imdb refer to him as Chip Cain? I mean, Charles Cain ain't scary either but it's better then Chip.

Well, anything's better then Chip.

They discover a set of map coordinates in Cain's office.

Meanwhile in Detroit, Jeffery disguises a way to get Inspector Todd out of his office before Inspector Lutz makes a call to him inquiring about Foley's involvement with their investigation.

It works!

Poor Jeffery! It looks like he's been up all night shooting up all kinds of narcotics.

Something about his eyes seem off. 

He must've "partied" a little too hard with Marcy in that Ferrari.

Inspector Todd's back and he's pissed. Jeffrey receives a call from Chief Lutz regarding Foley and covers for him.

Foley and the guys look into those map coordinates they found earlier which leads them to another potential target for a robbery.

They head out in hopes of capturing the bad guys in the actual act.

They damn near missed it though. 

They do end up spoiling the robber's time when they let out gunshots to "authorize" the gate to be open.

They try and keep pace with the armored truck in a cement vehicle driven by Rosewood as he takes out all of his fellow cops' cars in the process of the chase. 

They trace the truck back to the Playboy Mansion.

A very interesting destination to have as a cover.

You know all kinds of stuff goes down at that mansion.

I bet you can just smell the sex in the air as well as the scent of about 45 different narcotics being inhaled, injected or ingested.

We have a cameo by another future superstar comedian.

This time, it's Chris Rock rocking his old school shag and chipped tooth to boot.

Man, money really CAN change people.

One thing about Murphy is that he's always looked out for his fellow comics.

You gotta commend him for that.

Just look at all those playmates.

In the 1980's, being at the Playboy Mansion was the closest thing to Heaven for men both young and old worldwide.

Plus, this was back when being a Playmate meant something.

I wonder do they still even have Playmates anymore.

Well, if they do, they probably look more like inmates then playmates.

Now, you can't mention the Playboy Mansion without The infamous Grotto. I bet that tub has a ton of stories among other things.

Foley, Rosewood and Taggart are taking in the beautiful scenery as well as trying to figure out where the bad guys are holding up at which sparks this scene here,

"Rosewood: What are we supposed to be doing? Foley: Well, whoever took that truck is here somewhere. Rosewood: How are we supposed to find them? Foley: Follow your dick⁵!" (1:11:40–1:11:53)

You know, the playboy mansion would be a terrific place to have fun but I would hate to be a janitor there.

You couldn't pay me enough to clean up all that "filth."

Foley and company find the bad guys and have a little fun with them before being thrown out the party by Hugh Hefner who also makes a cameo.

Foley reveals to his fellow cops that he picked Dent's pocket at the Playboy Mansion.

They discover Dent's accountant, a Sidney Bernstein played by the late Gilbert Gottfried.

Man, this "Lutz" character couldn't find alphabets in his soup, let alone "The Alphabet Bandit."

Lutz get his ass chewed out by the mayor at the station and it couldn't have happened to a better guy.

Foley & crew go and pay Sidney Bernstein a visit at his office.

They run a scam on him to get him out of his office so they can use his computer to trace Dent's finances.

Foley calls Jan and she gives him the lowdown on the many properties Dent owns and has insured. 

She tells Foley that these businesses aren't doing so well which would explain why Dent's been robbing all of these properties to collect the insurance money.

With that useful information comes another clue so the fellas head on over to the racetrack in hopes of catching Dent before he has his crew rob the place and leaves the country for good.

On the way there, Foley's able to break the alphabet code which is all by design so it leads the cops to Cain and Cain only.

When the police arrive at the track, they find out it's a little too late. 

All the money's gone and all they're left with is a dead fall guy in Charles Cain AKA Carlos AKA Chip.

Rest well, Chip.

See you in a couple of seasons when you start doing "Quantum Leap" and tell Scott Bakula I sent you. 

Foley and crew are canvasing the crime scene while Lutz is out there taking credit for every damn thing about the investigation to the media.

Foley spots a mud trail similar to the one the mud he saw on Bogomil's shoes. 

He asks the man looking after the horses where all this mud came from.

He informs him that the horses were grazing down at Dents' Oil Field.

Bingo! The bad guys have been located.

They pull up and Rosewood pulls out one hell of an arsenal.

You know, for a guy that hated machine guns like he did in the first film, he certainly "evolved" in the follow up.

They knock out one of Dent's silly goons and discover the trucks are loaded with ammunition which sees Billy stocking up on this own inventory special compliments of Maxwell Dent.

Rosewood tries the aluminum, bubble gum wrapper trick on the security alarm and fails rather miserably.

Amateur hour I call it.

Rosewood's futile attempts are not lost though because when the alarm goes off, it allows Foley to get away from the gun that's drawn on him and that's when all hell breaks loose.

This was a masterclass in special effects because the gunfire sounds incredible on these cheap ass Insignia headphones I have on.

Rosewood fired a missile launcher and blew that truck to smithereens.

Rosewood might suck as a burgular but he knows how to follow instructions very well especially when it comes to operating heavy artillery.

Well said, Taggart. "Fuck Rambo" indeed.

Dirty Rosewood and Taggart round up the villains as backup from their fellow officers arrives.

Foley has an intense convo with Dent in a nearby warehouse.

It turns out to be a trap as Brigitte tries to unload on Foley with a submachine gun which he narrowly escapes. 

That machine gun that Nielsen had sounded so bad ass.

She's beautiful but deadly for real.

Foley stops Dent's lame attempt at running him over with some bullets as his car crashes through the warehouse, goes off of a cliff and then explodes. 

Sucks to be you, my dude.

Brigitte thinks she finally has Foley dead to rights but Taggart is there to make the save as he blows her away.

More cops arrive along with Lutz who begins chastising Taggart and Rosewood along with Foley. 

Well, Dirty Rosewood has had enough as he takes a stand against Lutz and is backed up by his partner Taggart.

The mayor also backs him up by firing Lutz for his abusive behavior.

Ahhhh! Great news indeed and it gets even better. 

Bogomil is now on the mend and is the new Chief of Police.

I'm glad to see Bogomil's righteousness paying off in the end. 

The mayor puts in a good word for Foley with Inspector Todd who orders him back to Detroit, pronto.

Even, Taggart gets his wife back.

According to Taggart, she only came back because her parents didn't have cable.

I have to say what Taggart said when he blew Nielsen away, 

"women."

Anyways, Axel says his goodbyes to the fellas and gives them the keys to his "uncle's" house and asks them to look after it for him as the real owners pull up.

And there it is in a nutshell, folks!

You can roll the credits and what better way to end this film and article with a "Better Way" by James Ingram.

You should all go check out "BHC" I & II just to go back and enjoy the film whether you've never seen it before or seen it a thousand times.

Either way, a thousand and one can't hurt. "Trust me" (in an Axel Foley font) as I ride off into the sunset in an expensive ass Ferrari.

"Alright, what the hell is going on here?! Who are you guys?! Who's that black guy⁶?!" (1:31:43–1:31:46)

References

  1. Beverly Hills Cop II. Dir. Tony Scott. Paramount Pictures, Don Simpson/Jerry Bruckheimer Films & Eddie Murphy Productions (1987) Paramount Home Entertainment (United States, 2020) Blu-ray
  2. Beverly Hills Cop II. Dir. Tony Scott. Paramount Pictures, Don Simpson/Jerry Bruckheimer Films & Eddie Murphy Productions (1987) Paramount Home Entertainment (United States, 2020) Blu-ray
  3. Beverly Hills Cop II. Dir. Tony Scott. Paramount Pictures, Don Simpson/Jerry Bruckheimer Films & Eddie Murphy Productions (1987) Paramount Home Entertainment (United States, 2020) Blu-ray
  4. Beverly Hills Cop II. Dir. Tony Scott. Paramount Pictures, Don Simpson/Jerry Bruckheimer Films & Eddie Murphy Productions (1987) Paramount Home Entertainment (United States, 2020) Blu-ray
  5. Beverly Hills Cop II. Dir. Tony Scott. Paramount Pictures, Don Simpson/Jerry Bruckheimer Films & Eddie Murphy Productions (1987) Paramount Home Entertainment (United States, 2020) Blu-ray
  6. Beverly Hills Cop II. Dir. Tony Scott. Paramount Pictures, Don Simpson/Jerry Bruckheimer Films & Eddie Murphy Productions (1987) Paramount Home Entertainment (United States, 2020) Blu-ray

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  • Alex H Mittelman about a month ago

    Wow! What a great story! Love the subtitle! Good advice!

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