Pop Wars

The Pop Wars were an embarrassing time in social media history. Every style of pop culture took it upon themselves to prove who was the trendiest. From minor fads to the dominant idols of America, the internet had become a bloody landscape of overly competitive communication. New modes of interrelations between people were being lost in the reposts and reactions numbing the sophistication of human interaction. Anybody paying attention to the true contributions of these movements were less impressed and more concerned with the direction it was taking society. It was getting nasty because the toxic atmosphere of people joking about anything using popular ideas fostered an attitude of anonymous quarrels. Screen names symbolized their preference of trope. The judgment came down hard on any who failed to consistently live up to their clever pseudonym which became their identity more than their real persona. This was a major point of contention.

Enter these online frenemies, Giffy and Meme Me! They met while entering a competition for who could personify a pop culture trope. The contest went to another contestant when the two were disqualified for breaching codes of conduct. Civility and productive discourse fell prey to trading insults and trying to outdo each other.

Giffy took too long to choose his gifs with which he expressed himself, while Meme Me was too selfish and always tried to incorporate himself in his content. It clashed in ideological styles that went beyond a simple online contest. They took themselves too seriously in a postmodern society where no certainties were approved universally, and they were sure they had found a way to express using anything humanity had to offer. This was pop culture. This was life.

They had found each other quite easily, having kept their screen names on the competition site profile. They were banned from the forums but they still managed to privately message each other.

Giffy was typing: “Ummm…how do we….solve this…between ourselves?” Giffy then posted gifs of the Looney Toons of Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck bickering over hunting season, with each other trying to admit to the other’s own season using reverse psychology. Giffy was explaining this to an annoyed opponent already familiar with the reference. What was unclear was the direct relevance or the punchline. Giffy then tried to use another gif to explain the first one, it being about the necessity for a referee, but the gif had the referee calling out bad verdicts.

Meme Me!: “This is why I should have won. If it isn’t obvious then it sucks. Or, in your case, it obviously sucks.” With a meme of his own face making a judgmental face saying all of his criticism in a font barely legible.

Giffy: “You lost too, dude…… Probably, because …..you include a “nobody” in every one of your wannabe memes….. You’re not even a household name… Narcissus.” He then posted a gif of a man looking at his own reflection but the reflection sucks him into a portal where the other world has a jail for vain people cursed to never see their own face again. Predictably, that didn’t come through clearly again.

Meme Me!: “Wow, did you make that gif all by yourself? It explains why nobody would ever use it. Too long, didn’t watch it all.”

Giffy: “Yeah, like… you’re gonna do any better…. You can be the funniest…. but nobody cares who you are….. Photoshopping yourself into EVERY meme you post… is so…offputting.

This went on for hours. Eventually, they logged off and went back to their lives. Coincidentally, they were both PC gamers. Worse yet, they ran into each other in a multiplayer game and instantly recognized each other’s gamer tags. However, there were witnesses to their skirmish within the game. One such named “Soundtracker”, who was greatly amused at the nature of their squabbling. She felt the need to contribute to the scuffle but she couldn’t bring herself to choose a side, as the premise was too absurd. Yet, her personality was similar enough in that she loved to play music that fit the moment. So, she started to troll them with the perfect song, which was always hard to determine if there were multiple plausible options.

Meme Me!:”Yeah…I think you’re stalking me.”

Giffy: “Wow…..you’re so … full of yourself! Your self-absorption has no… limits.”

All of a sudden, over their gaming headsets the song “Every Breath You Take” by Sting and the Police was blaring.

Giffy: “What..is that song…? And why does it…wait…are you mocking us?”

Soundtracker: “Doesn’t it fit so well?”

Meme Me!: “Oh, yeah. I forgot, we’re not playing alone. Oops.”

Giffy: “Please turn that down…. We’re trying to… play a game here.”

Soundtracker: “So are we. The lobby of twenty plus gamers probably muted you already but I heard you say something about a pop culture contest. Is that still happening?”

Meme Me!: “Why would I tell you that? Like I need more rivals.”

Giffy: “Weirdo…yeah, Soundtracker… (sigh) it’s over with. The results were yesterday.”

Soundtracker: “Aww…who won? I bet I would’ve beat them, easy.”

Meme Me!: “They played it safe and gave it some guy who would only talk in quotes. He could reference anything. He was a walking Jeopardy contestant, or something. Any category was in his range.”

Giffy: “Unlike you… whose only range is yourself.”

Soundtracker: “Oooh… has this been going on too long? Do you need a referee, because my whistle has range, too.”

Giffy: “Whoa….we were joking about needing a referee… but nobody’s going to care enough… about something like that.”

Soundtracker: “Well, what was the prize for the contest?”

Meme Me!: ”Not money or gift cards, if that’s what you’re looking for here.”

Giffy: “Actually…that was the prize. If you’re going to keep…being like that…I’m gonna win…for sure…”

Soundtracker: “Why do you talk like that, Giffy? You pause every burst of words, like you’re planning a gif for everything you say.”

Giffy: (Silence)

Meme Me!: (Laughter) “So that explains that!”

Soundtracker: “Oh, I didn’t mean anything by it. I’m sorry. Ok, as a first rule, no personal attacks. Like, no cheap shots, nothing creepy or offensive. If you do, I’ll just think you’re too immature and you’ll probably lose even if you should have won.”

Giffy: “I can… live with that.”

Meme Me!: “I guess if he can’t make fun of me either, it’s fair to me too.”

Soundtracker: “Okay…what other rules should I use? Wait, which ones did the contest have? Doesn’t that matter the most? Don’t you want to know if you really had a chance? If the rules are good enough, then the judge shouldn’t be that important.”

Giffy: “You’re awfully… prepared for this.”

Soundtracker: “This isn’t my first contest.”

Giffy: (Silence)

Meme Me: “Yeah! Me neither!”

The three logged off, to send their custom e-mails for their project. Before that, all three sent each other friend requests, agreeing to stay anonymous. They used the new e-mails based on their screen names and gamer tags, being the same.

The other gamers in the lobby overheard it all and could barely keep in their laughter until the three left the lobby to start the contest.

Gamer 1: “OMG! Whatta bunch of nerds!”

Gamer 2: “Yeah, totally! But seriously, I wonder who’s gonna throw a fit first?”

Gamer 1: “Don’t know, don’t care. I’m just glad they’re not yapping anymore.”

Gamer 3: “I kinda wanna listen in, too. You think they’ll keep their gamer tags the same? They might be on Twitter or Facebook. I wonder if it’ll be somewhere else.”

Gamer 2: “Maybe. But if they don’t keep it online, then it doesn’t matter.”

Gamer 1: “Don’t be dumb. The odds of them all living in the same city is statistically unlikely. They have a better chance of doing it on social media so they can get a million likes for being the idiots that they are.”

Gamer 2: “Well, look at you, Mr. Don’t know, don’t care.”

Gamer 1: “Shut up. Don’t ask me where to find them, either. You guys were being distracted. Do I have your attention now? Can we play now? Or, do you want to buy tickets, too?”

Gamer 4: “I already found them on the recent players list and messaged Soundtracker.”

Gamer 2: “Nice.”

Gamer 1: “Omg.”

“The Pop Wars: Right In Your Facebook”

Coming Soon