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To Serve Man (Fricasseed, Parboiled, Poached, Fried, or Raw)

A Culinary Guide to the Galactic Slaughterhouse

By Tom BakerPublished 11 months ago Updated 11 months ago 10 min read
Actor Richard Kiel as a "Kanamit" in the "Twilight Zone" episode: "To Serve Man" (1962)

Not really.

But, just imagine it: Somewhere out there in space, because anything that can exist DOES in an ever-shifting pattern of alternate universes and Seven Heavens or Dimensions all interlocking, a vast human SLAUGHTERHOUSE, a "domesticated Dachau" (to borrow a phrase from a story by Clive Barker) wherein the world exists (for tiny humans) as a "vast butcher shop" where "slain men hang in rows" (to borrow a phrase from Ragnar Redbeard). On THAT planet, in that world, men have all the utility to the Masters as a gaggling flock of CHICKENS and are treated with the same thoughtless contempt. Vegans take note.

They're processed, hung up on sharp little hooks by their hindquarters, skinned, boiled to get the dirt off, cleanse the germs, gutted, hacked up for bits and pieces, and packaged so gargantuan alien kids can consume them with a side of carrots and a dollop of space potatoes. Everybody says YUM.

And it is good! It is GOOD! IT IS VERY, VERY GOOD!

Sounds familiar, correct? An old episode of the haunted television classic "The Twilight Zone," an episode starring James Bond actor, the late Richard Kiel as a hugely tall, robe-wearing, big-headed alien "Kanamit" who speaks telepathically, is called "To Serve Man" (Episode 89, Season 3, 1962). And How!

I remember first encountering scenes from it on an old television special hosted by funnyman suicide Robin Williams called "ET and Friends." (1982) A woman actress (Susan Cummings) rounds a corner while a line of happy humans going to "Planet Paradise" are escorted aboard the Saucer by the so-friendly Kanamits. She says:

"Mr. Chambers! Mr. Chambers! DON'T GET ON THAT SHIP! The rest of the book, To Serve Man, it's, IT'S A COOKBOOK!"

But, alas, it's too late. Mr. Chambers (Lloyd Bochner) is hustled aboard the landed space cruiser, ready for take-off, and the hatchway is closed. Later, we see him reclining in his cell, smoking. (Weirdly, this is one of the only "Twilight Zone" episodes I can remember featuring no opening monologue by Rod Serling, all the narration here being done by "Mr. Chambers"). A Kanamit comes in with a food tray, reaches down and grabs Chambers' arm, and implores him to eat, saying with sickening black humor, "We wouldn't want you to lose weight!" Humans are a tasty delicacy.

The Twilight Zone (Classic): To Serve Man - It's A Cook Book!

Decades later, the sci-fi television epic V (1984) would present us with a similarly "friendly" group of seemingly benevolent extraterrestrial invaders, all of whom were actually lizard-faced horrors beneath their phony lifelike human latex masks. They were faintly modeled on the S.S. and did horrific things such as swallowing guinea pigs whole. They were here for the water, natural resources, and the Good Eats: i.e. human beings.

In our present world, only distant tribes in distant places still partake in cannibalism; or, in our modernized cities of "civilization," anti-social deviants and psychopaths (the Ed Geins, Albert Fishes, Jeffrey Dahmers). Anton LaVey was said to have once, in the old Church of Satan days, hosted a party wherein human flesh was consumed with fried plantains ...I'm not certain how much of that to believe. The consumption of man by man is not advisable, as a fatal, horrific disease called "Kuru" or "laughing sickness" can result. The ancient stories of Sawney Beane and "Christie-of-the-Cleek" have come down to us as the fairytale ogres of Jack and the Beanstalk and other tales. But these are of course all based on fact.

Occasionally, stranded people, facing starvation, have resorted to cannibalism. Famous examples include the Donner Party, Alferd Packer, and cohorts, and the air disaster in the Andes upon which they based the movie Alive (1993).

I once had a dream wherein I was in an ancient, snow-covered ravine, with primitive folks. It might have been some lost time period in European history a thousand years ago. There were little rivers and streams of blood in the snow, and I remember I was freezing. A girl in a white dress leads me to a bubbling cauldron. Suddenly, I was hundreds of years in the future, and we were in RUSSIA, at Stalingrad. Beside me was a German soldier wearing a shovel helmet. The boiling cauldron was still below me. I looked down, and saw, in the filthy murk of water, feet floating to the surface, still encased, comically, in their combat boots. I woke with a start.

Stalingrad. Were there many incidents of cannibalism known on the Eastern Front?

Getting back to it: Man is, apparently, not the pinnacle of evolution in the galaxy. UFO whistleblower David Grusch just testified before the House Oversight Committee that the United States government has hidden UFO technology and even "biologics," and as anyone who has delved even minimally into this stuff knows, they've had it since about 1947. Major Jesse Marcel went to his grave bitter because he had been made the laughingstock, the "Fall Guy," as it were, for his own government's cover story about what crashed at Roswell on July 4th, 1947, on Mac Brazell's ranch. Later, retired USAF Colonel Philip J. Corso, who wrote the book, The Day After Roswell (1997), and who often appeared on the old "Coast to Coast AM" radio show with the late, great Art Bell, also claimed to have been part of a secret government program to "back engineer" crashed UFO technology for their guided missile and weapons systems.

Colonel Philip J. Corso - Art Bell Interview 1997

Why Grusch or ANY of these government agents, military personnel, and just plain "spooks" (as in the sense of intelligence officers) would LIE about this stuff, I can't reason.

Thus, it's true, is the inescapable conclusion.

It's all true I believe.

I know. I saw one of them there UFOs over thirty years ago, walking with a relative at night. Coming up from an empty field, behind an abandoned radio station, was a black cigar-shaped object that shined a light on us. It had a strobe or lightning-like flash and was completely silent. It was huge.

It hovered silently over the field for a few moments, before rising into the air so that we could almost see beneath it. As I recall, it was lit at either end. It then, silently, exploded into a dark red or scarlet light and shot into the distance faster than anything I could even comprehend. It was then lost among the stars.

As a child, I use to wake with "sleep paralysis"; i.e. I awoke and couldn't move. This was accompanied by visits from the "Hooded Man" (whom I now refer to as "The Exile") and once another being, a being that looked like a giant praying mantis. These were translucent, insomuch that I could see through them. But they were not indistinct. They had the crystal clarity of solid images. These phantoms were "real" in that regard.

The Exile (Sleep paralysis, demonic attack)

As a fortune teller (tarot) I dabble every night in the occult, to some extent, for paying customers. Three years ago, I had a spate of phone calls from what I take to be dead people. Occasionally, I get voices on my audiobook recordings that shouldn't be there. Objects such as books will fall for no reason from the shelves. Tapping on the walls at night will wake me. I live in the subconscious mind and take my cues as to what to write, publish, etc. from dreams and deep intuitive prompts. I have memories I cannot explain.

What does all of this mean? My readers may ask: Where is he going with this?

Here, let me try to explain my reasoning behind this article.

There world you live in and perceive as "reality" is nothing of the sort. The very marrow of your bones is nothing more than molecular particulates floating in the void. And those molecules are made of atoms, protons, neutrons, electrons, quarks, and neutrinos, in a chain of Beingness in which we have NO IDEA as to where it ends. And perhaps a finite human mind can NEVER know.

It is not that we must question if an invisible or "supernatural" world exists. We should really question if our "real" world actually exists. I would posit that it is a PERCEPTUAL ILLUSION. A delusion. A dream. Not permanent. It WILL all vanish when your heart stops beating. What then? Where does it go? Where does your "self," your consciousness go? Does it wink out in darkness? Or, does it extend into the Infinite? Krishna tells us, in Bhagavad-gita, " The end of birth is death, the end of death is birth [...] End and beginning are DREAMS." (Bhagavad-gita 2:27) The Hindu Sankhya school of thought is that Supreme Brahm is dreaming the world and all of existence as the Purusha, the Infinite, and the manifestation of that is Prakriti, or physical reality (the "Manifest"). Men must return to live out the balance of their karma, life after life until, reabsorbed into that Universal Consciousness, they can transcend their individuated Ego and become a part of the One. Or, perhaps I'm not understanding it correctly, but this is what I, personally, believe.

"All things are unmanifest in the beginning, manifest in their interim state, and unmanifest again at the end," Lord Krishna tells Arjuna (Bhagavad-gita 2:28). He likewise says, "The wise mourn neither for the living nor for the dead. Never was there a time when I did not exist, nor you..." (Bhagavad-gita 2:11)

The physical world is Maya, illusion, and the Buddhists think so as well. To go beyond desire or want, or as the Gita instructs, to "do your duty, regardless and irrespective of the desire for worldly gain of fruitive actions," will release you from the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. Lord Krishna tells us that if he ever ceased to do prescribed actions, all of these worlds would be "thrown into ruination." (Bhagavad-gita 3:24)

In the physical world, men are driven by pure hunger. Hunger extends, in bourgeois society, to issues of wealth, status, and social caste. EVERYTHING battens upon the weaker organism, the "little one" on the food chain. Verily I say unto you, that hoary old prophet Arthur Desmond was correct when he assessed that the "Meek shall inherit NOTHING." In war (and all social interactions are, to some extent, governed by principles of conflict) the strong possess and dominate the vanquished, and are not expected to morally justify their own crimes and misdemeanors to the history books, which they will invariably write and publish. They will offer self-exculpatory justifications for whatever atrocities they commit, and demonize the fallen foe, whether entirely justified or not. In time, the defeated enemy or the oppressed may wrench the whip from the hand of their oppressor, and "make the buggers eyes water." Eventually, they will become the new oppressors and the eternal cycle of revolutionary history will begin anew.

Everything eats everything else, in eternal, bloody, neverending strife; even in conflicts that are entirely invisible to the naked eye. We overpower, dominate, possess, and devour. Darwin was right: inferior organisms succumb so that superior organisms may propagate, survive, and THRIVE. If God exists in the way Western Man sees him (a righteous "loving" yet curiously terrible and wrathful Old Testament deity), He is a strange one to create a world where, even at the cellular level, EVERYTHING must batten on everything else. Strange indeed.

The world now more or less knows that UFOs exist. The world is a shuffling zombie at this point, however. The masses are cowed to the point of servile, slave-like obedience, beaten down by three years of a global pandemic, propaganda, social upheavals, political corruption, riots, and now the introduction of "Thinking Machines" in the form of AI. In past decades, UFO revelations such as those being testified to before Congress would have had panicked masses in the street. Today, the entire world reacts with a curiously flat affect. Too much has happened, they've been conditioned too much and too soon in the past three years.

But the revelation that man cannot claim the rightful rulership of the world, is extraordinary. We are NOT, despite our destructive capability, the "biggest, baddest mothers on the block." A relatively insignificant backwater in the galaxy, one that doesn't get to sit at the cosmic round table because of our propensity for tribal conflict, is how late UFOlogist Stanton Friedman once put it (that's not an exact quote).

They obviously aren't here to "help" us. If so, they would have done that a long time ago. Arthur C. Clarke and Stanley Kubrick posited an extraterrestrial intelligence that was leading us toward the next step in human evolution, in their seminal cinematic masterpiece 2001: A Space Odyssey (1967).

But evolution toward what?

We are at the Nexus Point, the convergence of many factors. AI, global pandemics, and totalitarian thought control in the midst of what SHOULD be a time of vast intellectual freedom and communication--now the confirmation of what many of us have known our entire lives: UFOS are REAL.

We are reeling under economic woes, mass violence on a near daily basis, threats of new, strange diseases, government corruption, and surveillance on a scale undreamed of in the dystopian fictions of Orwell and Huxley and Phillip K. Dick.

Whither our Alien Overlords? Why are they here? What do they want? Most importantly: What are their HUNGERS?

Will we be stuffed like a Christmas goose? Repackaged in plastic like a commercial brand of hot dogs? Shipped to Zeta Reticuli and dismembered in a colossal slaughterhouse, where our limbs are ripped off, our heads severed, our intestines pulled out in loops, and our meat stripped from the bone, cured, and cubed and put into tin cans and given to Klaatu and Gort for lunchtime snacks? You laugh, but the curious thing about MAN (non-generative) is that he mocks possibilities when he knows full well the postulate is only a short distance from what already is possible. We travel in space and we eat what we kill, and we kill it in industrial centers and all of THAT would have been fantastic to people twelve hundred years ago. Now that is all simply our "reality." NEVER DOUBT THAT ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

Here's to the FUTURE, Leonard Cohen predicted, so presciently, that it would be "murder." Now, what's on the menu?

Will it be YOU?

Bon appetit. Keep watching the skies.

Ciao. (Chow?)

ET and Friends w/ Robin Williams (1982)

Midwest UFOs and Beyond by Tom Baker (Schiffer, 2013)

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About the Creator

Tom Baker

Author of Haunted Indianapolis, Indiana Ghost Folklore, Midwest Maniacs, Midwest UFOs and Beyond, Scary Urban Legends, 50 Famous Fables and Folk Tales, and Notorious Crimes of the Upper Midwest.: http://tombakerbooks.weebly.com

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Comments (1)

  • Randy Wayne Jellison-Knock11 months ago

    Excellent episode, one of my favorites. As always, interesting article. As for me, none of this would surprise me. At this point, I might even get on the ship voluntarily, fully aware that it's a cookbook. At least I would have served some purpose.

Tom BakerWritten by Tom Baker

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