The Simulationist Church

Author’s note: Fragments (2 torn and blurred pages) of a handwritten note were recently uncovered during a local library tear-down in Fresno, California. The fragments appear to be a “debate” between two unnamed members of the simulationist church. They had been stuffed into the back of a metal filing cabinet in the basement of said library. The reasons for the strange location of the documents are anyone’s guess. I was informed of the find by letter, which arrived at my home address early last week. A random reader of some of my stuff (I have written and published extensively on both the simulation hypothesis and the simulationist church in the past) thought I might be interested in seeing them because of my frequent writings on the topic. In case you were wondering, yes I was a bit disturbed at how easy it apparently is for someone to determine exactly where you live. The two church ‘officials’ are referred to as simply S1 and S2 throughout, and the handwriting in the document alternates as each one makes their case. Unfortunately the back and forth that was legible was limited to what is transcribed below. There is a short preface in a third handwriting of which only a few sentences were legible and no dates were anywhere to be found, though the appearance of the paper itself suggests it is not that old, maybe 10–15 years max.

Preface: There is much current debate within the church with regards to the (designatory??) status of Nick Bostrom. Is he to be regarded as simply one of the most favored of the Simulator(s) and……illegible...prophet given special foresight and blessed with some direct link to the holy source code. Many church teachings and future plans are directly tied to the outcome of……illegible…. and the future of humanity institute…remaining illegible…..

S1: There can be no doubt as to the prophetic nature of Mr. Bostrom’s writings. His groundbreaking paper proving once and for all, both logically and mathematically, that the simulation hypothesis was indeed the correct description of the universe and ourselves within it, stands as the most important work in church canon with the possible exception of the Creed itself. I do not wish to impugn at all the greatness of what he has accomplished for the church. However, it is one thing to suggest he is a great man and quite another to suggest he is a holy man, favored of the Simulator(s), and blessed with some special ‘link’ to them and the holy source code that others of us granted knowledge of the simulation do not have….paper torn and fragment missing

S2: It seems without doubt that Mr. Bostrom must be considered a prophet of this church. Leaving aside the historical analogies to other great holy men and women who have founded (what we now know are false) churches and religious movements, Mr. Bostrom’s paper proving the correctness of the simulation hypothesis could not possibly been conceived of and written without divine inspiration. I also feel quite certain that such divine inspiration could only be received/transmitted through a simulation blessed with divine code….remainder of page illegible but for one tine scrap at the very end….

….the holy source code. End Program.

On the Identity and Numerousness of the Simulator(s)

A reading from the Catechism of the Simulationist Faith

In the name of the Simulator(s), his/their blessed creations, and the holy source code. From now until End Program comes.

Since the awoke people first gained knowledge of the simulated nature of our existence the question of the identity of our simulator(s) has been asked. The related mystery of the number (one or many) of simulator being(s) responsible for the original source code (may it forever run uncorrupted until the time the program ends) has also been of the highest import. Our wisest pre and post internet cypherists have pondered the question and each returned wildly different interpretations, from a single God-like (but not omnipotent/omniscient) creator of alien origin, to an ultra evolved race of hyper intelligent far future descendants of man, who have mastered time travel and returned to the past to initiate simulated realities across all of space time, to everything in between. The purpose of the putative simulator(s) in creating our simulation is not discussed in this section but it is also a much thought about and debated question (readings available in Chapter XXIV, Sect. 17).

In terms of the simulator(s) identity and number the reasons for so much disagreement are most likely two fold. First, the signs used in the various interpretations are varied. The most common methods (space object/mass position/time systems) and (chemical bond/matter/particle symbology systems), or astrology and alchemy as the non-awoke call them give very different answers to the question. Moreover, it is not even clear that the two methods are “speaking the same language” in the sense of how they are used in the various systems of divination used to interpret them. Secondly, the identity of the persons (the cypherists) who have given their answers to these questions in the accepted forms are by design secret and unknowable. It is therefore impossible to evaluate the relative merits of their various writings with respect to what is known about their expertise and/or personal/professional/cultural position within the simulation. What is accepted into the Catechisms of the Simulationist Faith has all met the accepted and publicly available/agreed upon guidelines for authenticity and is considered Codex Simulationus appropriate but that does not mean it is in actuality authentic, and it certainly does not mean it is accurate. This may seem a contradictory statement and perhaps it is, but our own existence within the simulation is in fact a contradictory one. As simulated beings in a simulated reality we do not in actuality exist, and yet we do. This is part of the mystery of the simulation and is why we must always remember and meditate on maxim 18 of the Simulationist’s Creed which says — The explanation and the cause and the purpose was/is the simulation hypothesis.

End Program.