Tears that are not worth mentioning

So when she met him again and saw the same intense love in his eyes with the shy girl beside him, her heart was filled with vivid loss and jealousy. It was at that moment that she realized he was good. Such a good, is his side that loves him, loves him as a baby girl, passed to her. She remembered the "stupid things" he had done for her: in the winter, because she had turned off her mobile phone and could not be reached, he went to the Internet cafe to see if she was online; Check her blog countless times a day, checking to see if she's online every ten minutes on average; The envelope in which she had sent him a document was kept intact; Save all the useless, nonsense text messages she sends him to a special folder on her computer. Everything she didn't see, he treasured.

Because of jealousy, she moved the mind, re-contact him, just want to prove that she in his heart, whether there is still the original position. She even dug up old letters to remind him of how much he had loved her. But when she wrote a long letter in the past, he only lightly replied to her one sentence: Thank you for remembering, but I have found the girl who really loves me.

Her heart, suddenly a storm, she did not understand, and then hate him, think he was and many heartless men, like, love and forget. She even wanted to confront him and ask him if what he had said was not true.

On the very noon when she was angrily trying to find him, she had finished her lunch in a fast food restaurant, left the table full of leftover soup and water to pay for it, remembered the coat she had left at the table, turned to look for it, and found a ragged beggar sitting on her seat, gobbling up what was left of her soup and food, in such a big way, It's like enjoying a delicious meal, or a fancy meal.

She suddenly froze and lost the desire to roar and confront him. It was that moment that made her suddenly understand that the man who had been regarded by her as residual soup and water was now a delicious dish in another woman's heart, so she would fight for it anyway, even if he was nourished by love, and would not give her any more.

In this case, it is better to stop.

Zhi Bang is my college classmate, this guy wanted to fall in love when he was studying almost crazy, but he was not tall, not handsome, and his weight was like an African refugee, without a trace of man taste, so after N times of love are failed. We brothers took pity on him, and every time we had a ball, we would bring him along, hoping that some little girl would have the misfortune to take a fancy to him. It is a pity that Chi Bon can't even grasp such an opportunity, often he has not introduced himself, the girl will either frown, look elsewhere, or laugh and run away, of course, did not forget to quietly drop a sentence: so young and weak, will not shrink in adolescence, mature up?

That's why no flower ever bloomed behind Shibang's broken bike. Even our boys disdain to ride in his car, afraid of his little strength, accidentally let us this big man fall four feet in the air. Chi Bang himself is never willing to admit defeat, often said, brother wait and see, my Chi bang will one day fly, drive a BMW, carry a beautiful wife to anger you! Of course, we didn't believe him, and we passed on his crazy words to the girls to make them smile.

In fact, four years of college, Zhi Bang also had a little gossip, is and a girl called Tian Mei. She's not a pretty girl, but she's good enough for Chi-bon. Zhi Bang that period of time is under the cruel to chase, there is a kind of fearless spirit of sacrifice. This Tian Mei does not hate Shibang, sometimes for a little chocolate, and Shibang will laugh a few words. This little sunshine, rain and dew, enough to inspire Zhibang endless enterprising. Everyone knows that Tian sister actually despise Zhi state, just because temporarily can not find a good boyfriend, and do not give Zhi state small grace small hui, so barely cope with him. But Zhi state is not broken, foolishly followed behind Tian sister's butt, a pair of gallant appearance to serve her at any time. Until Tian Mei, before graduation, quickly fell in love with a promising young man, and went to a beautiful coastal city with him, Zhi Bang was very fruitless, after a cry, went to the south.

When I saw Zhibang again, although this man did not drive a BMW, but the shiny Audi, still envy us this group of poor brothers who did not mix up the appearance. We all came with our wives and children, but Shibang, still alone. In a nice car, he didn't bring a beautiful wife, as he had boasted. Chi Bon himself is no longer concerned about his own image problem, but the fact that he is still unmarried at the age of 38, when he jokes to tell us, saying that every time he wants to fill in what form, the marital status column, always the same "unmarried" two words, the person receiving the form will look up at him in surprise every time, and ask him: Seriously, a 38-year-old man is not married? ! Shibang estimates that when he wants to get married, the people at the registry office will be surprised by his first marriage. After laughing, we all asked him with interest, that in recent years, you are really a person, see your red face, not like no love nourishing appearance ah.

Zhi Bang is smiling without answering, just toasting us cup after cup. All the brothers with eyes a total, they united to pour him a wild, until he finally mouth not to listen to, and Tian sister and talk about the fact of love confessed so far. But such a news, and did not let us rejoice, because Zhi bang is unmarried, but this Tian sister, is carrying her husband and children, and Zhi Bang talked about an extramarital affair. At the age of 38, Zhibang has achieved fame and fame, and because of the experience of time, he has a mature charm that none of us can match. Such a man, can attract Tian sister, of course, is not rare. Just Zhibang will not just because of the old love that did not have a perfect ending, just accepted the Tian sister who has not much style, but let us still like ten years ago, worry about this love.

A few months later, the high-spirited Zhibang suddenly came to me for drinks. Drink to three rounds, will be a stomach of bitterness spit out. He said, Tian Mei did not tell me, and her husband divorced, his husband is also a successful person, how she is willing to leave, but also do not force me to marry, is really depressed ah. I was surprised, it is estimated that Tian Mei is really in love with you, not just your property, otherwise, nearly forty women, would not be so determined to take the road of divorce. Zhi Bang listened, but even more depressed. Half a day later, I was speechless: Brother, what I was afraid of was that she really fell in love with me, that I was "unmarried" all my life, and that I would not live the next half of my life with a fast wilting flower.

I heard later Zhibang did not marry Tian sister, and Tian sister, did not go back to remarry. This section of two people with material and unrelated love, perhaps it is really nature, beginning and end, is always just a person's acacia. And our most crazy youth, so in the bustling and secular, all the way to go far.

Once with a person, there was a relationship that was not love, but mutual affection, so they were concerned about each other, the other as their blue confidant, like to heart a little mind, talk to him. He is also a good listener, when I am sad or upset, he will lend his shoulder in time, let me rely on it, and wet his newly bought shirt with tears.

Of course, we are not each other's lovers, know that it is impossible to be together, confidant is the best choice, but when he goes to see different girls again and again, my heart will still be cold and slightly acidic pain, like eating a green apricot just taken out of the refrigerator, the silk of acid, has been extended from the teeth to the deepest part of the stomach, and tied a knot there. A cancer that surgery can't get rid of.

I remember once I was standing in the subway waiting for the train, received his text message, said, on the way to meet a friend introduced to the girl, do not know this will fail again. All of a sudden, my tears poured out, like the crazy crowds of people going up and down when the subway stops. I stood in the doorway of the subway, crouched down, and cried. Many people crowded around me coldly, and occasionally, they would give me a roll of the eyes and accuse me of blocking the door. But I didn't care about anything anymore, just biting my fingers and crying in despair.

I never told him about this cry, and I kept it as a secret, like Jane Bey, hidden in my heart, not to show anyone. Until one day, I discovered another secret. I learned from others that the reason why he was close to me, to be my blue face, willing to listen to my nagging, but because he learned that my uncle is an important person in charge of a unit, and he is precisely with this unit has an important cooperation project, he needs from the hands of the uncle with real power, to get what he wants. And I, at the right time, can become a useful chess piece to him, placed on the threshold to determine the direction of fate.

I didn't believe it at first, thinking it was someone else deliberately fabricating rumors or spreading rumors. Then one day, the project he was responsible for went wrong, he suddenly changed his mobile phone number, cut off all contact with me, it seemed that overnight, the man who had made me cry for the loss of helplessness, disappeared from the world.

He never appeared in front of me again, and he never even apologized to me again. I heard that he had come back and reconnected with some people, but he never thought of me again, of the evenings when I listened to his troubles, or of the tender days when I cried to him on his shoulder.

This person, since then, has become the image of my life, the lens that has been cut out by indifference. When I cried for him in the noisy subway, I used to think that this is a man who will be engraved on my heart, and I will miss him as if I miss another myself. Until now, I just know that those tears and pain, by the time of the hourglass review, was insignificant, worthless. All the gorgeous charming thoughts, stripped of the camouflage casing, are the most vulnerable rotten core.

That was my hard collection of tears, but life, to me played a not too small joke. It turns and forgets, and I no longer remember.