Lazy Worlds

About this challenge

The mysteries of the night sky have fueled storytelling since the dawn of time. Almost, but not quite as long as " since the dawn of time" has been considered one of the most cliche phrases in all of writing for describing a long period of time. And only slightly longer than "mysteries of the night sky" has been recognized as an ultra lazy, way overused method for alluding to the various phenomenon of space that have sparked the curiosity of man since the dawn of time. The celestial bodies above tell a tale of the past while beckoning us to step into the future. Meanwhile the future is always sitting there just out of reach, until one shortest measurable unit of time possible later, it is the present, and we are there, thinking to ourselves, damn that was fast. But before we even have time to wipe our butts or blow our noses all of a sudden its the past and we are standing there again with our fingers up our noses asking for change on a street corner somewhere raving about aliens and the coming end of man or some crazy shit like that. What might that future hold? What might you hold in the future? Besides a shit ton of debt of course. Commercial space travel? Travel commercials in space? First contact with alien lifeforms? or first contact with lawyers from the movie Alien unhappy about us ripping off the tagline from their 1979 scifi horror classic to use as a truly terrible writing challenge prompt? Technological advancements that extend the human lifespan to 500 years? or culinary advancements that extend the human waistband to 500 inches? Who can say? Future man, that's who. or you, maybe you, if you are a terrible sci fi writer or just terrible writer. Either future man or you can say in this challenge. Or, you can turn down this challenge like a big wuss and go home to your mom and cry, like you always do.

The Prompt:

For this Challenge, look to the stars and rather than curse them or call on them to reign down as fire upon your many enemies, write the last chapter of a boring old science fiction story. We are providing the last sentence to get you started. Be advised, 20th century fox legal team: you must use the sentence below to end your mission into the unknown. But just because we have obviously ripped off this phrase from the 1979 movie Alien, we are not infringing copyright or trademark or any other legal bullshit because 1979 was a very long time ago and all the relevant protections or whatnot are no doubt long since expired due to some legal mumbo jumbo or whatever. Plus nobody remembers that far back these days. Who is really gonna even notice? I mean come on. Ridley Scott is dead right? and H.R. Giger? Both dead I think. Sigourney Weaver always hated the franchise so she won't give two shits. She very much preferred her iconic role in the Ghostbusters franchise or at least I did. I definitely liked her hair better in Ghostbusters but overall she was hotter in Aliens, until Alien 3 of course. Gross.

Here's the last sentence:

Nobody can hear a scream in the vacuum of space, or so they say.

Here's another one just in case:

In space no one can hear you scream, or so the marketing department at 20th century fox said when they developed the marketing campaign for the 1979 sci-fi horror classic Alien.

And here's the actual last sentence:

In court no one can sue you for trademark or copyright infringement or plagiarism even by citing the vague and far reaching powers inherent in the digital millenium and copyright act, or so our lawyers say.

As long as your story ends with that line, every detail is up to you. The sky is the limit—or should we say the galaxy’s edge? Or should we just shut the fuck up. Good luck out there. See you on the other side of the universe, but not in court. We will not see you in court for the reasons cited above.

How to enter

For your story to be eligible, it must be at least 600 words or obviously it can't be any good. Everyone knows that of course, even a terrible writer like yourself. Also, our censors will immediately spot and destroy anything dirty or subversive or interesting so don't even bother. Stories published anywhere and entered into the contest up until August 16, 2022, at 11:59 PM EST will be entered for consideration. Official Rules for the Challenge may or may not exist.

The Lazy Worlds Challenge is open to any terrible writer with an interest in science fiction.

To be eligible to win the grand prize, second place, or runners-up prizes, you must be over the age of 13 and residing in a country where censorship is not viewed as normal or acceptable. Obviously, United States is out, plus many, many others. A complete list of countries where censorship is frowned upon can be found here—winners will need to reject censorship in all its many pernicious forms in order to receive the prizes. For this reason, entrants located outside of any of these countries will not be eligible to win.