Keep Your Thoughts Clean

CHAPTER 1

Nobody can hear a scream in the vacuum of space, or so they say.

I had no reason to question or doubt that statement.

In fact it was becoming a mantra that kept me focused on reaching that elusive life goal. The goal that would keep me out of the black hole and one step closer to enlightenment-a new life, a new beginning and out of despair.

There wasn't a family or friend to cheer me on. I was totally alone in my quest as were many others my age. At the tender age of 15 the government decided you had reached a level of maturity that could be defined as adulthood. Of course it wasn't anywhere near but it was when the government could relinquish its dubious responsibilities towards its charge and throw you out of their "care".

Six months into my "adulthood" I felt like a veteran. I had managed to secure a position of trust at the lowest level of the Government Customer Advisory Service along with 50,000 other "adults".

I thought I was doing quite well. I believed that in under 2 months I could rise up with the outer pod on track for the shortest route for enlightenment. I knew I had a long way to go but I wasn't frightened of work and the reward would be immense. Freedom would be mine, and a life that at present was only a dream would be within my reach.

For now, though, I must be a mass and report for my duties along with my fellow podders.

Realistically, I know that at least 90 per cent of podders will fall into the black hole before the year ends. Time to report.

I strap my wrist unit on and scan it across my desk code. Waiting mere nanoseconds, I was transported into the appropriate line ready for selection.

Quickly scanning the podders immediately around me , I recognised many from my student days. Already they were showing signs of the dreaded blank stare and colourless pallor. I subconsciously raise my hands to my face. My skin feels clammy, not a good sign. Instinctively I know I have the same aura as everyone else in the line.

"Think of good thoughts." I admonish myself. "Its the only way. Think of Pops. He always makes you laugh."

It was true. Pops was my little light of hope, my six month old kitten. I had brought him into adulthood as my one and only allowed living "item". A ball of energy and playfulness , he kept my dark thoughts mercifully at bay.

Too many dark thoughts would mean a road towards the black hole. Despair and no hope.

His voracious appetite ate literally into my meagre living wages but it was a sacrifice I was more than willing to take all over again. He was my hope and life.

Thoughts of Pop filled my brain like a series of comic strips. It was all I could do to stop myself from chuckling out loud. This would be a mistake as it would signify a loss of control. Instantly I could feel the colour in my face change, the blood rushing to my cheeks. My fingers stroked my lips the warmth penetrating my finger tips.

My mood lightened as I thought of how my status would rise. I almost missed the subtle heavy breath of the podder behind me.

"Too much movement." He whispered internally.

I instantly focused on my body. " Stay still, stay still, stay still." I think.

I was aware that this day my thoughts were moving around and they should remain static but something had unbalanced my status internally and I needed to move physically to quench the desire to speak. I knew that was impossible at this stage I would have to wait for the line to pass through the barrier ahead.

Frantically I turned my thoughts to the stories of enlightenment. The light and colours always worked at calming my status. Gentle greens, beautiful blues and subtle silvers flooded my thoughts. Images of my father gently swirled around, his twinkling eyes laughing and his deep soothing voice spoke words of reassurance.

Something didn't seem right however, my fathers face started to look worried. His eyebrows furrowed and his eyes darkened. I could feel my communication band sending shock waves into my skin. Small but painful jabs like burning acid rain penetrated my body. The feeling intensified and it was all I could do to stop my self from crying out with the pain.

I looked down at my wrist, that level of pain could only mean the higher level was communicating their displeasure at my thoughts.

Confusion and fear flooded my senses. I was unsure as to the best course of action so I glanced behind me at the podder who had helped me earlier.

Our eyes locked and I saw the only emotion flash briefly across his face. Sorrow.

Time was moving slowly. I knew I had to act quickly as the mood in the line had changed. I could feel the anger mounting. I was distracting.

I glanced quickly to the front of the line avoiding eye contact where possible but I still sensed the distrust. These podders needed me to go I was a danger to their status.

The Elders in charge of the barrier were absent so it would not make sense to move to the front. I could perish within seconds.

I had to calm my thoughts. Make them blank. Unreadable. I only knew one thought process that would give me a chance and that was survival.

It was very risky. Instantly my intentions would be clear but I had little choice.

I concentrated on creating a small space in my thoughts and stored my emotions away from harm. Switching my thought patterns I brought to the front all I knew about survival . Not much! I tried to ease my panic concentrating on exit strategy and slowly made my way towards the back exit.