Why Create a New Relationship?
5 Steps to Starting Over
Regardless of how long you've been with your significant other, there comes a time when you have to call it quits and start over.
A recent survey conducted by Harris Interactive on behalf of Match found that 34 percent of men and women had ended an exclusive relationship within the past five years.
If you're at the point where you know it's time to call it quits, here are five steps to starting over, whether you're in your early 20s or mid-50s.
1) Acknowledge Feelings
You're not going to forget your ex overnight, but you need to address why it happened to move on.
While it's unlikely that you'll be able to change things, knowing that you did everything in your power will allow you to move on with your life.
Acknowledging and understanding why things didn't work out can make the difference when starting over again.
There are plenty of other fish in the sea, but catching another won't mean much if you don't understand why yours was caught.
If you're honest about what went wrong, you'll feel better about where you go from here.
Be kind to yourself while acknowledging how hard breakups are. It's okay to take time for yourself before moving forward; there's no timetable for how long it takes someone to get over an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend or even just a breakup in general.
What matters most is getting through each day once until you feel ready to start looking for love again.
Don't push yourself too hard because making rash decisions out of desperation could lead to disaster.
Take it slow, focus on yourself and try to have fun doing so.
Once you're happy with who you are as an individual first, love will find its way back into your life naturally—you might even end up liking who they are more than they were before!
2) Identify The Problem
Before you can solve your problem, you must identify it.
Most people wait until they're having trouble in their relationships before deciding to fix them, but identifying issues as early as possible can help prevent more significant problems.
To figure out what's causing tension in your relationship, sit down with your partner and talk through your concerns without judgment or blame.
You might find that there are underlying issues that need to be addressed—or maybe you'll realize that everything is fine.
If you do discover some red flags, don't panic!
You have time to work on resolving these issues; take things one step at a time.
For example, if you notice that communication between you and your partner has broken down, consider sitting down together for 10 minutes each day to discuss anything that comes up. Or, if money seems to be an issue in your relationship, start by setting aside 10 minutes each week for budgeting sessions.
3) Recognize Patterns
If you find yourself in an abusive relationship or living with someone who has an untreated mental illness, it can be a clear sign that your relationships haven't been working.
Relationships aren't easy, but there are steps you can take to improve them and make them healthier. You may find that certain behaviors get repeated repeatedly in your life—in relationships, at work, and even when you're out having fun.
Recognizing patterns and changing them is essential to improving all of your relationships.
It can also help you figure out what kind of person you want to spend time with. And don't forget about self-care!
It sounds simple, but we often forget how critical taking care of ourselves is. Self-care includes eating well, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly. These things will help keep us healthy overall—and happy!
4) Learn From The Past
The biggest reason you want to create a new relationship in your life is so that you can build something more positive than what you had before.
Start by learning from your past mistakes, and then use them as motivation to change how you act and react.
Decide that your future relationships will be built on trust, honesty, and respect—and decide what steps you need to take today for those things to be possible tomorrow.
Sometimes it's hard work, but it's always worth it. And no matter what happens, don't forget to celebrate all of your victories along the way!
You've already made it farther than most people who never try again after one failure. Be proud of yourself because you're making a difference in your own life.
5) Start Small
Sometimes when we're thinking about getting into shape, we get caught up thinking that we have to do it all at once.
That is never going to work for most people. You need smaller goals, and you need them now.
Perhaps your first goal is to walk around the block once a day or take the stairs up and down instead of riding an elevator.
Start with a straightforward action each day and then build on that by adding more small changes until you see bigger results.
This process will help keep you motivated as well.