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What To Do If She Cancels Last Minute

Don't assume the worst if she cancels last minute.

By Hayley QuinnPublished 7 years ago 3 min read

You’ve got a date this evening with a girl you’ve wanted to go out with for ages. You’re thinking about what to talk about and how to go in for the kiss. Then-your phone flashes:

‘Heyy I’m sorry but I’m feeling really tired tonight, do you mind if we rain check?’

Last minute cancellations are terribly frustrating; Not only are your evening plans ruined, but you worry that if she cancels this date, the chances of her making it out for another date are slim.

The key here to avoid dejection is to avoid jumping to conclusions about why she cancelled – don't read into her text for any definite message. If she cancels last minute she could actually have a legitimate reason, or she may be on the fence about seeing you and needs additional confirmation that you're worth it. So if you can, this is the time to step up and ask her to reschedule. Act in a way that's both assertive and attractive, and there’s a good likelihood that she’ll accept that second invitation.

If she is genuinely interested in you but wiped out by work she’ll offer you another alternative time to see her. If instead she says something vague like, ‘maybe we can catch up next week?’ or ‘let me see how my schedule looks in a few days, I may still be really behind at work,’ you can loosely translate this to mean, ‘I’m sorry I’m just not attracted to you enough yet to invest my time in getting to know you better.’

Of course, anyone who respects their time and values themselves wouldn’t tolerate a last minute cancellation unless they felt it was really genuine. They understand that everyone gets tired and has other commitments in their lives, but if you care about something enough you make time for it.

Desire always overcomes logistics, and if she wants to see you enough, she’ll find a way to make that happen.

Assess the Situation

Your response to her should communicate that you have enough self esteem to challenge her (nicely) on her last minute cancellation, and that you’re the kind of guy who she respects and is attracted to.

You could say, ‘I’ve had a crazy day, too, but let’s get a drink or I'm afraid it’ll never happen…’ or, ‘How about we meet somewhere closer to your place because I really would love to see you tonight.' towards you because I want to see you.’

Often when she’s prompted by seeing that you’re not going to immediately give up and that you have the confidence to insist she’ll become more attracted to you and the balance of the scales will go in your favour.

If at this stage she’s still unwilling to meet and giving you vague answers, I have to be honest with you that the chances of her ever meeting you are slim. It sounds like you’re on the back burner.

So if you want to reschedule once – OK. If, however, she reschedules more than once don’t bother to pursue her further. It can be tempting to chase that which is moving away from you, but you’d be better off investing your energy in a woman who shows enthusiasm from the get-go.

Someone who can’t keep a commitment (whether that’s because there’s another guy in the picture, or because she’s investing all her energy into her career) is demonstrating to you that she’s not able to be in any kind of relationship. And sometimes the sexiest thing you can do here is to withdraw and expect better for the next one.

Meet more women - find out how by getting Hayley's free cheat sheet on meeting women in real life at

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About the Creator

Hayley Quinn

Hayley Quinn is a TEDx speaker, author and Founder of Her dating skills training teaches men and women to become more empowered in love.

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