The other side of cheating

Ok, I am about to get controversial here. I been on both sides of the spectrum, one more than the other, I only cheated once. My ex who kept cheating on me over and over again, I finally gave up and thought two wrongs made a right,well in my case it did. He felt terrible and never cheated again. Well, on the next girl. I have been cheated on both times. I know friends who have been the other person. Let's discuss that part.

Cheating is wrong, no matter which way you go about it, if you are the culprit, or the victim or the side piece. Someone's heart is going to get broken, possibly more than one. Someone is going to catch feelings even when they tell you they have not, someone is going to walk away, someone is going to get caught. We talk alot about the victims and the cheaters, but rarely about the other person.

The other person tends to be looked at as the home wrecker. From my own research and interviews of people I know, most of them didn't even know the person was married and if they did, would have never got involved and ended it as soon as they knew. They also ended up hurt, very hurt in the end and lied to as well as betrayed, almost as much as the betrayed spouse/partner. While others, know, but are in love with this person or just cant help being with them. This is a real thing. A VERY real thing. What happens is, and I learned this in school during a psychology class, the chemicals in our brains that attach us to addictions like drugs and alcohol, are the same chemicals that attach us to love or an affair. It becomes an addiction. As much as they want to stop the affair they don't know how to get out, or are afraid of the pain that lays ahead or maybe they think they are meant to be. Its not that they don't think about the betrayed person at all, they do, and they feel terrible but sometimes people are just selfish for stupid reasons,m we have all been there. Some of people are tired of doing everything for everyone else. Its not the sense get in and get out anymore. Most of the time affairs are full blown lasting on an average of 3 months to a year. Anything more than a year is considered rare and long term at that point, i would call it a relationship. I was part of a group of women that been scorned, and I observed their conversations and I picked up a lot on them. Many of them were already in neglected, bad marriages, their spouse has already cheated before. These are the regular stats on it. However, theres always exceptions to the idea. Maybe they never cheated, their marriages were perfect, it can literally happen to anyone and I saw that.

When you get married, your not shutting down that part of your brain that controls infatuation and love and attraction. You can still be attracted to someone and be committed to someone without cheating. Its human nature.

In no way am I defending anyone in this article. but this is for the ones that are getting half and most of the time just don't know how to get out of it. They know they are hurting a lot of people and they don't like it. Obviously this doesn't apply to every single one. But I know when I get cheated on I rarely blame the woman, actually i don't think i ever have. Even when they knew, they were not the ones who made that commitment to me, its was the man I was with. They are to blame to an extent, but I don't hold it over them, I never have. And these are the reasons why.