The New Me

The Break Up

The New Me

Standing in the food section at Walmart, I looked at this man who I had been dating for over 3 years and I knew that I was done with him. I was ready to free myself from the hold that he had on me. I knew I didn't deserve to be treated how he had treated me for the majority of the 3 and a half years we were dating.

It was supposed to be a simple trip to Walmart to pick up a couple of items for breakfast the next morning. But he turned it into torture. He was on his phone doing god knows what and paying zero attention to me or to the task at hand. I was becoming frustrated. I tried to be patient but my questions and comments continued meeting no response from him.

Finally I told him I couldn't do this anymore. I put the few items down at a table near me and began walking to the exit. Shocked by my abruptness he put his phone away and called after me, "Jackie! What are you doing?"

"Leaving," I snapped back.

He continued calling after me and following me outside and into the parking lot. He finally caught up to me and grabbed my arm while apologizing profusely. I could tell by the way he talked that he had no idea what he was apologizing for and that he just wanted to make me calm down so that he could coerce me into saying with him and continuing to pretend we were happy.

I wasn't having any of that bull shit.

I told him I was done with him and that I didn't want to be with him anymore. He begged with me and tried to convince me to let him drive me home. I knew that if that happened he would find a way to make me laugh or smile and all would be 'okay' again. So I opted to continue walking away from him with the intention of getting on the bus. He continued following me across the parking lot of Walmart. I didn't know what to do anymore. I was almost at the point where I was just going to give in because the fighting and standing up for myself was exhausting. I took one last attempt to get away from him and I ran as fast as I could across the 4 lane road to catch the bus that was just pulling up. I didn't even bother to look back; I knew the exact facial expression he would have and I knew that it might break me just a little bit. I managed to get home without him following the bus.

But the incessant texts and attempted calls from him didn't stop so I blocked his number. Not long after getting home, my mother let me know that he had reached out to her because he was so "concerned" about me.

The next day he came to my house and thought that bringing me food would appease me and things could go back to "normal." I couldn't bear to talk to him so my step-father basically chased him away.

4 days after I broke up with Mark, I slept with someone I just met through an app.

I intend to chronicle how I got to who I am today throughout the multiple sex partners that I have had in the last 4 years since I broke up with Mark.

The rest of the stories in "The New Me" series will generally be NSFW. If you are easily offended by vulgarity or discussion of sex and multiple sex partners then please refrain from reading any other posts about this.

Read next: Titty Tote Time
Jackie T
See all posts by Jackie T