Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles

I can honestly say I hate porn parodies, while they provide excellent mind fodder for lookalikes of our favourite celebrities they also come with a lot of dross. I remember sitting down to watch Who's Nailin' Palin and the stupid acting in between just put me off the fantasy all together. It's only redeemable factor was watching Lisa Ann get double teamed by a pair of Russian soldiers. So morbid curiosity got the better of me when I saw a parody of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles by Wood Rocket. I'm actually a huge fan of the Ninja Turtles so I couldn't stop myself from having a look when I saw pornstar April O'Neil as (you guessed it) 'April O'Neil.'

'Playing with your bo staff...'

While I had heard of April O'Neil before this I hadn't actually seen any of her stuff. I'd heard of her because her pornstar name is inspired by the character from the Ninja Turtles. Supposedly the 31 year old with 32C-23-32 is a self confessed geek who's into video games, anime, and reading. Being that way inclined myself I would love to meet her but am sure I would be back of the queue. The number of men and geeks who would love to meet her would be staggering so I'll just have to accept watching her on film. That said she has been labelled 'Twitter Queen' for staying in touch with her fans and always seems to have time for them.

'Way of the Ninja...'

The natural cutie is actually bisexual and moved to Los Angeles back in 2008. A Phoenix, Arizona native after the move she worked as a receptionist for 6 months. After a meeting with Kylee Reese she gave up being a receptionist to try and make it in the porn business. She usually sports a brunette look but personally I like her as the red head (doubt my opinion counts mind.)

Showing your 'Hockey stick.'

The actual parody of this series isn't so bad and the production costs seem unusually high. Apparently someone jacked off into the sewer and had radioactive semen making the turtles what they are now. They were taught to be ninjas in the art of sex by Master Sphincter (oh it gets worse.)

Master Sphincter named his sons; Michelangeblow, Leonhardo, Dongatello and Raphallus.

Ten Inches?

If am slowly destroying the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for you I do apologise. I am actually a big fan myself and did start to regret putting this on to watch. What's worrying is it wasn't actually bad mimicry of turtles; they all sounded like their genuine counterparts. As they banter in the sewer you could actually mistake this for a turtles series if there wasn't so many references to sex. April makes her first appearance on the television before coming to see the guys. It is really good acting I just hate the parody element of it which is done to stop various legal actions being taken. April turns up and the guys have some banter with her before the real action of the scene takes place.

Pizza and Girls

'The Spreader' turn up in the sewer deciding to dual with the Ninja Turtle. Although she sounds like someone who deals with butter she's the parody's version of the Shredder. While the Turtles engage her April jokes at the camera saying 'Wow I can't believe anyone would miss this awesome ninja action.'

Production costs were obviously a bit too high for paid martial artists but she does look incredibly cute as she jokes about it. The viewer is probably here for April O'Neil anyway; I know I was.

Somebody else who is here for April O'Neil is Casey Bones; the hard ass New Yorker & Raphallus' buddy.

It's good acting from pornstar Chad Alva and he does a good job in the performing area too. April is all too happy to see him and two get it on in a hot sweaty scene while the turtles are still fighting 'The Spreader.'

It's hot action and watching April blow that cock with her red hair looks great. She gets really messy with it too as she covers it in saliva. What thing I noticed is the natural beauty has a really muscular rump and when she works that cock from the cow girl you get a real good look. One thing I would like to see in a follow up is maybe the Spreader get to grips with Casey in a true bad girl type scenario but this is good for now. That said I still hate parodies and despite the decent acting this hasn't done much dispel that hatred. The scene is available at Wood Rocket but I managed to pick it up at whorestepmom.com. Going to give it 3 out of 5; Good acting , April O'Neil is awesome but it's still too parodied for me.

3 out of 5.