My last post regarding the meaning of sexual liberation for the modern woman gradually began to irritate me so I decided to make an updated post more aligned with my current views. By not examining the sexual lifestyles of women in an effort to be a "Good Feminist(™)" and not judge their sexual choices, I ignored the undeniable societal impact on the way women view sex and instead opted for the unoffensive route — "some women want to fuck around, others don't. Deal with it!" without questioning why.
One of the things that we all know is that sex sells. It is relatable, it is desirable, and more than anything, it awakens something in us that we enjoy on a whole new level. Sex was sold to me from a really young age, making me both confident in being a bit more different than the image portrayed by other girls around me, and confused about the stigma surrounding a woman comfortable with her sexuality—a woman that seeks and desires sexual activity and is not ashamed of it. Everywhere I looked around me, the man was the one acclaimed for being open, being out there and experiencing intimacy, while women were simply there to comply, and their task, given from themselves as a form of self-protection, was to be quiet about it. Tale as old as time.
I think that women are gorgeous, I wanted to learn how to do lap dances, and I live close to many strip clubs. What I was going to do that night was pretty clear. Not only did I get an idea of how to dance for a partner, but these sex workers also taught me many things. Make sure you read this article until the end to know what happened when they asked me to go on stage because today, I am showing you seven things you learn at a strip club as a female customer.
I’m fortunate enough to know several, strongly opinionated women, some of whom identify as feminists and some who don’t. But the one thing that they all have in common, is the mere fact that they all believe that women everywhere should have the right to do whatever they want and that right certainly extends to their vaginas. This might be a feminist rant or it might be an enjoyable commentary on what sexual liberation means to the modern woman, or it just might be bullshit. Either way, you’re gonna hear my thoughts. Some of which will make sense, and the rest just might be filler (yeah, I know…but in my defense, writing ain’t easy). We’ve all seen the “Hoe is life” hashtag everywhere in the last few years. Women are living their best hoe life while yelling from the rooftops that it’s no longer a man’s prerogative to fuck everything that breathes. I know part of this statement might be a reductive way to describe men, but this isn’t a space centered around them so FUCK’EM! But what does sexual liberation actually mean? How did we get from marital virgin to hoe is life in 3 generations?
No matter what my weight has been in my life, smaller or larger, there has been one constant. I have big breasts. I sprouted breasts before all the other girls in my class and had to start wearing a training bra at age nine. By 13, I had Double D boobs and these days I would say they are around an H or I even though I still stuff them into Double D bras because larger bras are stupid expensive and hard to find.
There’s a deafening silence at the intersection of slut-shaming, toxic masculinity, and stigmatizing mental struggle, a hole where a conversation ought to be.
By far, one of the behaviours that I see the most and one of the behaviours that gets me seriously, seriously angry, whether it is from kinky men or vanilla men (and let's face it, we are all on the spectrum somewhere) is the hunt.
In early 2016, I worked on an art project with an artist near Findhorn. She seemed intrigued by me and seemed particularly intrigued by my thoughts on male chastity. I was starting to think a bit more seriously about using it as a feature in my photographs and in my writing, and it seemed like this might be something we could work on together.
I write about sex a lot. Probably because I think about sex a lot. It's a privilege afforded to my generation in this part of the world. As North American women, we have gained more rights to our bodies than ever before. Hell, there is more mainstream advertising now telling us to take care of our cunt's health than I believe has ever existed publicly (I saw a bus ad recently reminding me it's time to get a PAP smear). Several women in my family hit sexual maturity in the 1970s at the height of the sexual revolution before the terror of AIDS and at the inception of widely available birth control. I grew up hearing stories of what it could mean to be sexually free.
For years, I have grown with boys who are now men, who have proudly worn their sexuality on their backs like a rucksack. Times are changing and women want to do this too. I know I certainly do and would, why are we so squeamish when it comes to women talking about sex?
I am a large woman and as many of my friends and enemies know I am a rather frequent nudist. Now nudity isn't something all large women and men are particularly comfortable with. The majority of nudes we see in our society are in movies, porn or artist photographs; the bulk of these feature thin people frequently with medical enhancements. Doesn't make us thick-inclined types so sure anyone wants to see us naked and instills an internalized fear of our own nude bodies.