Quivered at the Thought

“My mother?” She didn’t want to admit what she had already known to be true. She didn’t want to accept the connections that were starting to form in her mind. It was easier for her to believe that she didn’t know where he was going with that statement. It was easier to believe that she was just a victim in all of this and that belief caused a pang of fear to rest in her belly.

“How did you know my mother?” She asked though she didn’t want to hear his answer. She was afraid of what he was going to say. She was afraid that he was the man that had escorted her mother to pick her up that warm spring day. The pit of her belly quivered at the thought that he might be the man that murdered her mother. That he was the man that took her away from them and ruined her father.

She didn't want to believe that this man was the reason her father lost himself to alcohol and left home one day never to return.

The memories she had of this man were so faded in her mind that she struggled to recall what he even looked like. All that she could remember was the feeling that his gaze caused her to feel. The exposed way his eyes slithered over her body and the way her mother glared at her as though she were to blame.

“She came to visit me often,” he said as he paused for a bit too long, this pause had given Victoria time to return from her own thoughts. The faded memories that blocked the answers from her conscious mind. She realized immediately that he wanted her to figure it out for herself...She did.

“No, no, no, no, no, no!” She said the last no screaming with a wail of sorrow and desperation. She was so angry and sad and confused, this knowledge was crushing her. “You?! You are the one who murdered my mother?” She asked him the question but hoped that she was wrong. It could have been that her mother had taken several lovers. It didn’t have to be the one that she met.

Yet, instinctively, she knew that the fact her mother had brought this stranger with her to her school suggested that their relationship was more than just casual. He was her lover, for how long, she had no idea. In her heart, she needed to be wrong, she yearned for this to be a false reality. This couldn’t be real. She loved him. She couldn’t have fallen in love with the same monster that had stolen her world. It was impossible.

“Yes, no, maybe, it was an accident. You have to understand, it wasn’t meant to be that way. I thought that she loved me and I loved her. She didn’t love anyone but herself. That night, we fought...about you, I’m sorry. It was an accident, she fell. It wasn’t meant to be that way,” He started crying and wiped the tears from his eyes. Victoria watched as he sobbed before her and felt her anger fading as his vulnerability left her feeling all of his pain pouring into her.

It was as though she could feel all of his emotions coursing through her at once. She touched his face and wiped a tear from his eye. He turned towards her with a sad smile and she kissed him. This kiss was gentle and kind. It was meant to offer him comfort and in a way she believed that it had done the same for her as well.

“Victoria,” the way he said her name caused her to forget the anger and mixed emotions. She tugged at his shirt and he pulled it up and over his head letting it fall to the floor. He kissed her deeply and pulled her shirt over her head as well. Victoria could feel the heat of his flesh against hers as their bodies grew closer, the desire had become an all-consuming flame.

Feeling his emotions so strongly, it sent her own emotions into overdrive.

“I want you,” She said in a husky voice.

“I want you too,” he replied between kisses. His hand found its way around the back of her bra as he effortlessly unhooked it causing it to slide off her body and exposing herself to him.

“You made that look too easy,” She said as she laughed into his mouth. He smiled as he dipped his tongue further inside. The bliss of the moment left no room for thoughts or doubts.

“Only for you,” he uttered as his hands grabbed handfuls of her breasts, carefully kneading them. He took time to grant special attention to each one of her hardened nipples. She moaned in ecstasy as her desire reached new heights. Michael broke the kiss and leaned down towards her chest. He kissed her breasts with such passion and care that her body felt as though it would catch on fire.

“Yes!” She screamed as her back arched allowing him to take in more of her. She no longer cared if this was real or not, she only cared about this moment. Michael, her lover, would bring her release and redemption.

Her eyes opened and she was once again in her room. Drenched in sweat she realized the singular truth that would haunt her forever. She hadn't gotten over Michael.